Dreaded SIL!!!!!!!!

[mummykings]

Hello everyone
My dreaded SIL my husbands brothers WIFE!!!She bascially stalks me and doesnt like the attention being not on her what so ever.She uses there children they have towards everyone basically if any1 stands out of line or stands up to her she will use her kids saying ur not seeing them.......OMG i want to slap her!I cant stand much more of this behaviour the spolit b*h should deserve a slap shes called my two children a retard and unloved!!!!!!!!And my inlaws and husband turns round hands in the air and says its just her being her!!!!GGGRRRRHHH i cant stand it anymore feel like im going in sane as she stalks me and every move i make......Everything is turnt into a competation because her husband earns more and they dodge taxes and get the highest amount ever in tax credits and dont pay rent with too many children she has about 3000 in the bank every other month and uses it 2 make me feel like poo as we dont get alot of help and husband only earns 300-350 a week and we have 2 pay full rent and council tax so do struggle majorly but they can go and spend a grand on what ever they like ie flooring....Please Please Please if anyone has any light 2 shed on this dreadful situation please help as im going to explode and not in a good way and feeling very

You should feel proud of yourselves, you and OH, as you are not trying to defraud the system. You can both hold your heads up high.

Who cares about new flooring?

Report her it might make you feel better.

Yes very true its not just about new flooring though im talking spending a few grand a month and making me feel like absoulte crap and just competeing with everything even down to how much we spend on the kids or even the dog :( even to the point of making me put a distance between the inlaws bcoz as she puts it shes the favourite and always will be.....

Oh believe me deste she has a few share of emenies and they aleady tried to report her but they have an accountant who fits everybit around their lieing scams.Just gettin so annoying now.She even keeps track of my periods just so i dont have another baby and hog the lime light .Just so fed up of it all now all cant find another way to deal with it as i talk to OH and PIL'S and they all say the same thing its just here being her and to ignore her childish ways but how can u ignore a stalker.....

How can she track your periods?How can she prevent you having another baby?You need have nothing to do with her unless you want to.

In what way is she stalking you?

If she upsets you so much then distance yourself from her. What she chooses to buy for her family is really no reflection on you - life isn't a competition.

She knows when my period is due every month....No she doesnt prevent me from havin another but everytime i say me and OH are thinking of starting to try for another baby and she puts me down about the situation feeling lonely and very very down.Ive suffered numerious miscarriages and she puts so much stress onto of me as soon as i say we are trying or causing a big arguement between me and OH.

I'm not sure either how she can track your periods without you telling her when you have one... or how she can stop you having a baby, unless she has hidden microphones in your bedroom and phones you up in the middle of sex or something

She does sound competitive and jealous of you. I would have as little to do with her as humanly possible.

Sorry, OP - X-posted. You need to freeze her out and not give her any information that she can use to get back at you. Do not tell her anything about your private life or when you are ttc. She can only cause you stress if you let her do so.

endicoleslaw ive had 2 deleted 2 facebook account's because of this and my mobiles always going off where shes either texting me or phoning me telling me whats shes buying or just booasting as usual.I know its not a competition hun thats why i try to ignore it until she hits sore points where she knows how i feel for example my children get pushed out by the PIL'S and she will ring me just to tell me that they are havin all 5 of her kids for the weekend while her and BIL get wasted

why are you treating someone who calls your child a 'retard' as a confidante?

ok i starting to wish id never even brought this up now as i feel im being judged all ive tryed doing is keeping the peace and carry on with life as normal as possible and keep my OH and KIDS happy but its just all 2 much and felt like i could come on here and have a rant and get advice from others.

The texting and phoning sounds bad, best thing to do with people like that is not respond in any way. Delete the texts without reading them, don't answer phone calls, block her on Facebook.

If she's enjoying your reaction then don't react. Just ignore her and get on with your own life.

Stop gry

Grrrrr

Stop trying to keep the peace. Delete her, ignore her, don't answer the phone to her.

Don't get into arguments just completely ignore her. Just cut her out.

Thank u Enidcoleslaw for ur advice and will definatley take it in action as im fed up with it now and all so tiring of talking about it all just finding things hard at the moment how some one can be so cruel and spiteful.

advice?

1. delete your facebook.

1. delete any texts

1. screen yr calls

1. be coldly polite if you do meet

1. get on with your life

Just ignore her

Get your husband to deal with his brother and wife

she sounds absolutely fucking dreadful, by the way. you don't need her in your life

She does it because you let her.
Stop letting her. As advised below, block from FB etc. You don't HAVE to keep the peace if she is being a total PITA.

Thank u all so much for ur help.Im going to cut my losses and keep smiling with my beautiful family as thats all i need.Thank u all again x

Ok so you DO need to distance yourself for your sanity, although I can see how it must frustrate you, she sounds a lovely piece of work

If she's watching you that carefully, she's obviously very insecure.

Totally block her, if she calls you on it just airily say you've been busy, and don't tell the PIL's anything in case they let slip. Be very vague about any plans or anything basically to do with your life.

You are the nicer person, anyone who can call her neices/nephews retards is not worthy of your time or energy.

I have just got rid of a 'friend' like this, she had been controlling and manipulating me for five years. I sent her an email explaining why I was ending the friendship and deleted her from fb.

I did it in writing as she will not allow anyone to have an opinion without resorting to verbal bullying.

She recently admitted she had BPD ( I had already guessed that though).

Yes im just not going to have contact with the dreaded SIL and if there is some keep it to a limit the cold hard shoulder i think.The only reason why ive took the abuse i think is because of the kids and my OH and also our neice and nefews but it doesnt work as much when she waves that card about as they know we love them very much.Oh asdevil im sorry to hear that its so fraustrating isnt it as u want to shout and scream!!But all good things come to those who wait i suppose but i do know one thing for certain is as soon as the dreaded SIL gets what she deserves i will be in the front line laughing

I am baffled... even if she could track your periods, how on earth could she prevent you from having another child.

And as for competing, again I dont really understand, as if they have so much money, then there really isnt a competition, she just sounds like she enjoys bragging.

Block her from facebook and change your mobile number. Just dont engage with her at all.