The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Morning. No sleeo here either due to flipping winds, scary stuff! Back to work this morning.

Morning. No sleeo here either due to flipping winds, scary stuff! Back to work this morning.

Morning. No sleeo here either due to flipping winds, scary stuff! Back to work this morning.

Morning. No sleeo here either due to flipping winds, scary stuff! Back to work this morning.

Morning all. Please may I climb back on?

After a really good spell at Christmas when I did nor drink at all - courtesy of family stomach bug relay - I think I fell foul of the 'I deserve it' syndrome again.I have had several evenings in a row now where I have drunk waaaay more than is sensible, resulting in a virtually sleepless night last night. That was caused by a mixture of incredibly noisy gales and stomach pains. I had a spell of gastritis about nine months ago, and it seemed very similar - so I think the booze has struck again.

I am now sure that I can't do the 'just one drink', and need to give up completely, so back to square 1. I feel really guilty.Please hold my hand for a while.

Day 1, here I come.

Morning

Just about to dash off to work, but just wanted to say to Mary welcome to Day 1. That's all you need to think about. You will have a lovely day full of determination, maybe a hot bath later and early night, hopefully a restful sleep. And that's it. Just one day. You can do it, brave babe x

See you all later x

Morning isinde, sending some good vibes your way.

obrigada how bad were the winds? I miss howling winds, there is something so real and grounding about them.

Welcome on board mary and find yourself a comfy seat. I deserve it syndrome is very familiar here, think we've all fallen into that trap, so you are in good company. On Day 4 here, stopped for a long while, and then had a few small glasses over Christmas, I am living proof it can be done. There was a time when the thought of forsaking a drink on a Friday night was, well, unthinkable, and of course one turned into 5 turned into more. But I realised that one or two is really my limit before the reasons not to drink get forgotten. So I'm back on the bus, it's a good place to be.

Oh, and don't feel guilty, just feel glad tha you have recognised the issue and are doing something about it. That's half the battle won already, you know.

Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhh .... stupid phone

very howling boss.

plus we got caught in hailstorm on the way school this morning - invigorating to say the least! still took the dog out in the fields from there and had a good walk and was very glad i'd put my sensible north face coat on rather than my usual layering of cardigans and scarves and such.

may the force be with all those going back to work today. 2nd day back at school here - am feeling glad of a bit of routine being back in life.

i drank 3 beers last night. if there'd have been more i'd have drunk them but deliberately only bought 3 which is more than enough. will aim for less today but not ready for day 1 yet.

Morning all, hi Mary, welcome,

I've just got back from doing a shop for Dc2 who is going back to uni tomorrow. As I was out early, a coffee after check out seemed like a good idea! One massimo skinny cappucino with no choc to take away later, and I felt as high as a kite! It has taken a pint of water and two slices of toast for me to feel less "heady".

Faire I loved your list of things to look forward to. The weather where I am today is sunny and blowy, the sort of day for old cobwebs to be gone! I feel the same about strong winds as you Boss, especially if I'm tucked up in bed listening. Obviously not so great for people who's aerials blow off Isinde!

Isinde Good luck for the sales pitch, lovely.
JWN I hope you feel better, and that you take things easy when you get back to work.
Mouse I'm so happy to hear that Nemo's chest infection is nearly gone. Take care sweets.
Silver Fingers crossed that you are not too busy at work today, and that your Mum is comfortable.

With love to everyone else, have good mornings.

As a postscript: Noteven I hope that you are somewhere able to read this, and know that I am really hoping you are ok, and have the support and help that you wanted.

Speak later Babes
xxxx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Well, another night of horrid dreams but that's par for the course when I stop drinking. I managed to get some sleep and Nemo woke at 11.30pm with a terrible nappy. His skin is actually blistered thanks to the antibiotics.

My GP has just called and said that my back consultant has finally been in touch and referred me to another doctor who he wants me to see ASAP. So that's next Tuesday afternoon. Not sure what they have come up with but I'm hoping that they have found a magic cure for chronic pain.

Isinde - good luck! xx

TheBoss - I thought of you last night watching our local news. They have strengthened the flood defences of the river near to us, as it has been on high flood warning for the last few days and looked to be about to burst it's banks at lunchtime yesterday.

I remembered being on honeymoon in Bangkok watching a storm roll in under the window of the hotel. We were on the 38th floor. I could see the river too and the sight of it spreading was absolutely terrifying. So you've been in my thoughts a lot of late. xx

It's so windy here again, 2 of our neighbours fence panels flew off and smashed his green house in the night. Not great but at least he wasn't hurt.

Obrigada - It's great to see you on the Bus again. How are things with the family? Your mum? xx

JWN - hope you are feeling better xx

Mary - welcome back. You're not the first and won't be the last to fall A over T off the Bus .

Silver - tell me about how the other drug works......... is it the same idea as Lithium? Well done for being honest with your doc xx

Faire - It's great to see that you are still going strong. xx

Saf - how was last night? Did you manage to sleep? I find that if I drink less or nothing at all, I can't get to sleep. If I drink my 'normal' amount I can get to and stay asleep, albeit a restless sleep. Plus I get horrid nightmares when I stop drinking.

I have told DH that if he wants to tip me over the edge, then go right ahead and book the work to be done. Just don't expect me to be here whilst it's happening. I will move me and the DC out. There's no way we can live without a kitchen. B&B or luxury hotel down the road? Decisions decisions!

Thurso - the coffee buzz eh? I'm on my second cup of strong Columbian coffee. Love it to kick start me in the morning.

TTM - thank you, I seem to have up days and down days at the moment. Plus it can change half way through the day as well! DH doesn't know which version of his wife he's going to get when he comes in, keeps him on his toes doesn't it?

I suppose I should get dressed. be back later xxxxx

Hey Mouse:) Good to be back on the bus, mam away in her own little world but seems happy enough, at least I know she is being well looked after. With regards to two of my sisters, no contact with them since the summer, and don't think that is about to change anytime soon.

Good to hear you sounding more upbeat:)

sorry Babes, and so very sorry for letting you down silver
On the plus side - trying to salvage some pride - half of the second glass and the whole rest of the bottle went down the sink. My sink has been pretty pissed lately.
So 6 days into my battle now, 4 days no booze, 1 day booze, today we shall see.
i can still do this.
Hangs head.

Just a super-quick one whilst supervising DS playing very enthusiastically in naice, quiet cafe

Ma stop all this shame thing at once, you hear? You did 4 days!! That's brilliant. And on the other day you had 1 1/2 glasses of wine then poured the rest away. The drinking a little actually shows more strength in some ways - you had one but didn't carry on and get rat-arsed. Now that's what 'normal' people do you know . Seriously give yourself credit for the dry days you had and the drinking sensibly yesterday. Lift your head up, Ma, you're doing great . I know for a fact when I crack I'll down a whole bottle, so I am really impressed with your willpower.

Laters babes

Ma

DO NOT I repeat DO NOT let this get you down - my GP said to me - OK so you drank last night BUT it will be much harder to pull yourself back after two days of drinking than one.

So you and I my dear are at the start line again, legs tied together and WE WILL DO THIS. We will have slip ups but as long as we keep the focus on long term sobriety we will be fine lovely.

Mouse - the campral is supposed to help with the cravings - it helps to undo the chemical imbalance I have created in my brain from years of drinking - well that's what the leaflet said -

Ma - worth a trip to GP maybe?? BUT she did say I had to be referred to the CAT team - and you may not want that (I don't but no choice atm).

So chin up, head high - you did 4 FECKING DAYS

BE PROUD xxxxx

PS mouse Librium is basically just a tranquilizer (sp?) to take the edge off the anxiety of not drinking - but highly addictive (no shit sherlock I thought as GP said that)..so she's given me a few more days wot=rth then I start on the campral. ho hum

or even

Day 5 here & doing ok so far but think am getting into my danger zone (Fri night looming). Have been helped by return to work being pleasant and DD ongoing poo saga taking up much of my time in the evenings/ morning (cleaning pants/ bum/ bath etc). Its very wearing and I am not good at patience, esp in morning when rushing off to work. Tempting to down a glass of white to wipe me out but know it won't be jst one.

Feeling less tired but stayed up really late last night surfing the web (well mainly M'Net) and listening to wind.

hello mary. Hope presentation went well isinde and good luck for this eve ma and silver - you can do it.

msbojo you should meet MsGee who has also been experiencing 'poogate' problems. You two would have a lot to talk about. . No doubt she will be back to join us soon.

Mouse I love your post, you said it all matey x

Ma you are fabulous. To pour all that away, you should feel proud of yourself. Things are changing for you, I can feel it. x

Come on Ma - you know how this works by now. Pick yourself up, grab these -> {BIG GIRL PANTS} and put them on. You did so so so well, I mean it babe, you did 4 whole days! IN A FECKING ROW!!!

You should be very proud of yourself because you and I both know that you never thought that you'd ever do 1 day, let alone 4.

You can do it, you've shown yourself that you can. So just stop with the self beatings please. xx

Babes - We are the ones in control of this. No-one 'forces' us to drink. We drink because we want to, we like it, it's fun, we feel we're in need of it, it relaxes us, it soothes those tired heads, because we've had a few days off so can have a drink after all.

It's habit. It's part of our evening routine and helps to unwind us after a busy day, right?

Wrong. Utterly wrong!

Look at just how guilty we all feel after slipping up. We're here saying sorry to each other when we've had a drink. Why? It's daft. Just stop it and use the guilt or anger to bump up the devotion to kicking the one bottle (or more) a night habit. There are oh so many reasons that we can use to have a drink. Why is it that there's not as many to NOT have a drink?

If you want to stop drinking for today, then stop. No-one ever forces us to open that bottle or can. It's one day. Just a day that you'd be better off not drinking.

We're not 'normal' or 'social' drinkers. We can't go into a pub, have a couple of drinks and then go home for a cuppa. Well, I know that I can't.

Surely, we can ALL manage one day? It might not be today, you might be drinking now, but I bet we can ALL not drink for just one day. We just have to chose when that day will be.

Mine was yesterday. And so far, it will be today too. I'm not smug about it, I'm pleased with myself but I'm aware that I have a whole bucketful of excuses ready to come pouring out at any second. There's no shame in having a drink or two each day. The shame comes from hiding the quantity and the frequency in which we have those drinks.

Come on Babes, just try a day and take it from there xx

Evening all. Thanks for the welcome - you lovely people, you!

Have had a good day today - lovely long walk this afternoon when the sun came out, which lifted my mood no end. So far today, not even tempted by alcohol, and bought some Tea Pigs tea to try, as I am sure that I have seen it recommended on here somewhere. Half a bottle of white from last night has just gone down the sink, and kettle is on. DH is out, so a quiet evening with the telly, a couple of newmagazines and a cuppa or two. Surely much more enjoyable than last night, when I was slightly cross-eyed and headachey by bedtime. I am trying to look on sobriety as a way of being good to myself.

Mouse, you really are an inspiration.

Have a peaceful night, all.

Mouse - nail and head

I've just applied for an allotment

Got to release lap top to DD - not that I need super nanny or anything (bit late at 11 I guess)

Might be back, might not

so will send sleep fairies now just in case

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hello. I'm new.

Apart from a couple of glasses of wine on New Years Day at a family meal, I haven't had a drop in 2012. By the end of 2011, with various ebbs and flows and ups and downs, I was probably averaging between two thirds and a bottle of white wine a day... quite a lot I know, but not so much I could not function and have a completely normal life as it were. However, I realise that this is just too much to go on and maintain a balanced and healthy life both physically and emotionally. I feel pretty good about giving this a go, no cravings or whatever, however, I need some help with a couple of things and I am sure one of you lovely ladies can help/reassure.

1. I have had quite disturbed sleep the past four nights... is this normal?

1. I actually wake up with a headache in the morning. I drink lots of fluid during the day, try not to have too much in the evening to avoid having to go for a wee in the night.

1. Am intending to stop completely for this month, then see how I feel. From a health/skin etc point of view, is it likely I might see noticeable changes in eg. weight, skin and just generally feeling better health wise (until I know I am always a bit groggy, not surprisingly, and am very susceptible to bugs going around). I assume my immune system may have a better chance of fighting back!?

1. I am a bit all or nothing - just one glass seems pointless, so it becomes two, three, four and five. How do you get to the point of thinking "I can put that bottle back in the fridge two thirds full and leave it there....???

Anyway, nice to be here, I've lurked and read a bit over the last weeks/months and I think you are all just jolly bloody fantastic.

Hi Grip

Welcome aboard Babe

1. Yes

1. Normal

1. Noticable difference after about a week

1. Only you can answer that one

Gotta go - hope we can talk some more later/tomorrow x