The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Bproud
How about eating something, or have you got any fizzy soft drinks in the house, a big glass of that might help.
Or, leave the kitchen, and the fridge or counter wherever the wine is, and go and wash your hair, or try on some clothes, just to get over the "pull" that will go away. Crikey I know how hard it is, am just giving the same sort of talk to myself!!
xxxx

Sorry just re-read, you don't have any fizzy soft drinks, just the eating solution then .
I think I'm hungry that's why I feel like a drink.

Bproud., don't do it! You'll only Bpissedoff tomorrow!

I know it's really hard but you can do it! Have a little lie down and deep-breathe or something. The craving WILL pass

I've been lurking forever but am now desperate enough to post. I drink most days, sometimes I start when I get home from my part-time job at about 3pm and I put away between 1/2 and 3/4 bottle of wine a day. I don't get horribly drunk and I function pretty well but I'm ruled by my cravings and feel terrible about the way I drink. I do it alone and I hide it and sometimes I'll go to a bar mid-afternoon and sneak in for a couple of drinks on my own. I can't do anything social without pre-loading and I'm always the one who drinks the most when I'm with friends.

I'm a single parent with a small number of friends and was divorced 5 years ago. I miss married life and being part of a proper family although I drank in an abnormal way then as well. I've tried loads of times to control my drinking (trying just to drink socially etc) and I've succeeded for while but I always end up back at square one. I simply don't know how to stop, I've been to the GP, tried AA, had CBT and feel now that I've just got to do this on my own and nothing and no-one else can help me. The worst thing is that I keep telling myself I haven't got that much of a problem because I'm not a classic alcoholic but it makes me feel so hopeless and unhappy that I know I have to face the truth. I'd so much like to start taking the first steps towards becoming sober and hope I can learn from the wonderful women here.

Slowly Welcome, you have come to a good place

I'll have to be quick as having "issues" with Dh tonight, despite the fact that he is not in yet!!

What do you want to do? stop altogether, or cut down? You will find that there are all sorts on here .

We all know what it's like, though, and support and love are very fond of each one of us.
xxx

Hello Thurso and thank you. I think I have to stop. I've tried cutting down so many times and it always creeps back up again.

Thanks Babes, you were of course right - it has passed, Thurso you were right pigging eating helped enormously, I managed to scoff a bag of crisps before they arrived and then poured their wine out with inpunity. DH is contrite because he saw how beside myself I was and is now cooking dinner.
Slowly welcome aboard, you can see right here how the support works in action! If you are worried about your drinking, that is enough to demonstrate that you have a problem with alcohol. Are you having a drink today? Do you want to join us straight away? If so pour away or put the lid on what you have opened today and join me in a great big mug of tea. If you want to stop drinking you just have to take it one little step at a time.

S/SM Your name change for me really made me laugh, but I don't think I will try it out just now
You have been doing really well, I'm dead impressed!

welcome slowly.
am in no position to offer you sage advice, but please take a seat and relax. no-one will judge you here.
thurso what's going on with DH?
silver are you ok?
mouse how is wee nemo tonight?

Right, up for a bath, DH in, dinner in bin!!
Can't even begin!!!

Well done Bproud
xxxxx

Evening all and well done Bproud. Not sure if I could pour wine for friends this evening and not have one the rest of the bottle myself.

Hello Slowly how are you doing this evening? It can seem really overwhelming when you keep trying and nothing works. But don't lose heart, you can do this. If you've been reading the thread you probably know that we all just try to do one day at a time. Makes it more manageable. So when you are ready to try just one day without alcohol, let us know and we'll help you through it.

Enjoy your evening Saf and even if you can't lie in, you can at least go back to bed with a cup of tea and a good book .

Fairenuff thank you, I'd very much like to not drink anymore tonight (I started when I got home) and have poured the rest of it down the sink. Bproud I'll join you in a cup of tea and think I'll have an early night so at least I wake up fresh tomorrow.

It's better to face up to things sober instead of in a comforting haze isn't it? Because when the comforting haze dissipates, you're left feeling worse than ever...May I ask, and forgive me if I'm being too personal, if anyone suffers from depression or anxiety? I've had mental health issues of one sort or another most of my life (like a lot of drinkers) and find the only thing that really helps is anti-depressants. I've been off them for a while and have decided to ask the GP for another prescription. Makes me feel likes a failure because I thought I could do without them.

Slowly I have suffered with depression and anxiety was what started me drinking in the first place. If you will feel it will help, go for the anti-depressants, I found it useful to get me over a bad patch, but I'm sure you will be aware that alcohol is a depressant, so you won't get the full effects of the ADs while you are drinking regularly.
I am really not attempting to put you off going to the docs, but if you are serious about not drinking you could wait to see if no alcohol= less depression, you may even experience the boing effect after a few days. I find that my mood is much more even now that I don't drink, although as you saw tonight I am not always sweetness and light

There is no need to feel like a failure if you take ADs! Medicine is there for us when we need it. We all need medical help at some time in our lives - whether it's for mental or physical health, makes no difference. I'll join you in that cup of tea now too .

i'd say go back on the meds. why the shame at taking them and pride at not when in fact you're only getting through the day by drinking or looking forward to drinking?

do you find you have drunk less and/or been more able to tackle change when your depression is treated?

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Saf - you sound like you know what your plan is for the evening, well done on getting a DS free morning. Try your best to stay in bed. Switch your head off my lovely. Sleep xx

(Nemo is wide awake otherwise I'd call you)

Ma - he's full of another cold which has pissed me off big time. Every single germ seems to land on the wee chap. I'm hoping sleep will ease his symptoms and give him some much needed respite.

Silly - thank you for the kind words, you really touched me by posting that xx

BProud - I hope that you can stay strong tonight. Why tonight? Why not? There's no rhyme or reason for these cravings, they just come when you don't want them to.

BStrong, BTough and BYou. You know just how much you will regret drinking if you do, we all know that feeling. Value what you have achieved, look at what you've achieved. I for one think you are absolutely amazing for getting as far as you have.

I'm signing off for tonight, will pop in over the weekend. xxx

That's exactly it Santa, I spend so much time thinking about drinking and either looking forward to it or beating myself up for looking forward to it and ADs seem to take the edge off a bit.

Bproud, do tell me what the boing effect is! And have you completely cut out alcohol? Fairenuff the tea went down great, no desire for alcohol at all now, it's so weird how the cravings come and go.

thurso pm me my friend. what's happened?
slowly I am on citalapram and have been for about 9 months. it has made a big difference, probably would have made more of a difference if I had stopped drinking too.
indie how much have you done on systems thinking? I am really getting into it. did some work today with Vanguard Scotland who run the Seddon programme in Scotland. Very interesting stuff!
mouse poor wee nemo and poor you. Is his immune system poor?

well Slowly since you ask I will give you my testimony.

I joined this bus in October 2010, I had been drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night every night for about 15 years and prior to that been a heavy drinker from the age of 18-35 with a few more responsible periods, whilst pregnant and with very young children.

I wasn't happy to be drinking like that but was maintaining a pretty good life, happy family life, good job, great friends, a fully functioning alcoholic! I had not hit rock boottom, but I was heading towards my 50th birthday and getting scared. Scared that I was begining not to cope at work - the hangovers were getting worse, my health was deteroriating, my DC, now grownups, were seeing through me, I was terrified of getting cancer or having a stroke or liver disease.

I was on MN because I do some voluntary stuff that involves family life, and stumbled across the Brave Babes. My life was transformed by that lucky find. I decided to follow the babes, particularly JWN, and to try to quit drinking.
I didn't have a drink that day, or the day after, or the day after that... Somehow all those one days have added up to about 15 months without a drop of alsohol now. I'm still here because I still draw support from my lovely babes, and hope to encourage others to have a go.

My life has improved immeasurably, I am healthy, I am fit, my skin glows. My children respect me, my DH likes me all the time as well as loving me (Iwasn't very likeable when drunk) I've learnt to have sober fun, I have loads more time to do other stuff, hence the fitness, I have more money to spend on treats.

This what adds up to the BOING effect, one day you wake up and think 'WOW I feel GOOD!'
I can't think of any downsides at all apart from a new addiction to the Brave Babes and Dairy Milk chocolate

Thank you for your testimony Bproud, it's given me much food for thought, especially as we're of a similar vintage :) I love the concept of lots of single days of not drinking gradually adding up. Do you hope to never drink again or do you find it's not helpful to think that way?

Glad to hear the ADs are working for you Ma and yes you're right, they work much better if you don't drink on them.

Thurso: sounds awful, so sorry.

Slowly: well done for de-lurking.

Everyone else: thoughts are with you.

sleepy boing! sorry havent been around much lately, just got loads going on and my old brain is getting tired!

isindi, you like 'systems thinking'?!! you have just confirmed to me what a nutter you really are! , hows your office stationary collection going?

bproud, its bugger when it hits you like like that isnt it? i find giving myself a '4 minute moment' helps, i worked this one out when i gave up smoking many years ago, any craving lasts for approx 4 minutes, find ANYTHING to do during those 4 minutes and you will get through it!

slowly, nice to meet you! - dont beat yourself up over lableing yourself, it makes no odds in the end what you call yourself, be it alcoholic, lush, boozer, alkie, whatever! the bottom line is that you have an unhappy relationship with booze, try and deal with getting used to admitting that first!, its a big step, very scary and lonely and a label just adds to the pressure! like bproud, i do this one day at a time and its amazing just how those days build up and carry you forward!

love to all you other babes! this one is off to bed!

L XXXXXX

I don't think about whether I will never drink again, I just know that I can't do just one drink, so I prefer not to test it. As you will have seen from earlier, the desire still grabs at odd moments, but I have come a long way and don't want to wreck it. So each day I choose not to drink for just that day, that is where the support you find here is so important.