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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

after months of texting and flirting it happened

64 replies

footynutter · 28/12/2011 13:43

I have posted about this before. For the last 6 months i have been texting someone it has got very suggestive and has been a two way thing. Ok, im single but he is not and I used to be friends with his wife - we are no longer friends because she accused us of having an affair although at that point we hadnt done anything physical. Their marriage is over and she is having an affair, but i know this doesn't make what we are doing right. For months he has suggested we meet up and have sex however we never have until boxing day night. It was just fantastic but it was just sex (no kissing) he text me when he had got home that night and all day yesterday but wont answer me when i have asked was it just a one off ?? any advice appreciated. I realise i may get shot down in flames aswell.

OP posts:

loopylou6 · 28/12/2011 17:40

Hang on, so you've had a sexual relationship with this 'man' before? the thread izzy linked paints a very different story to this thread.

Teaandcakeplease · 28/12/2011 18:19

She's overlooking some very wise comments on this thread, including mine. I'm divorced and single and my ExH fed the same sort of lies to his mistress, that she's now believing I suspect. Now I've seen the other thread too I'm giving up. She's not interested in advice unless it supports her pov it seems I also cannot tell what's truths or lies now. However perhaps it's a new married man this time?

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 28/12/2011 18:29

Is this a wind up ?

If it isnt, OP it is because of tarts like you that we see so many broken marriages. Why dont you keep your legs closed and try and pursue eligible single men than targetting some poor thing's hubby ? He has treated you like a whore because effectively that is what you shown yourself to be.

zookeeper · 28/12/2011 18:36

The problemhere is not him but you; you need to consider why you want to put up with being second best and look at your own self esteem issues - try counselling

FabbyChic · 28/12/2011 18:37

Men don't kiss prostitutes either he used you like one but didn't leave any money on the bedside cabinet when he left. All you are to him is a spunk receptical.

MsLillyBeth · 28/12/2011 22:09

A lot of prostitutes DO kiss their clients so this man treated the OP worse than a pro! I think if she does see him again and he only wants emotion-free sex she should make sure she gets £150 in nice crisp notes first.

OP, it sounds like he just wanted a shag and once he got it he?s lost interest in you, or he?s creating distance so you don?t get the idea he wants more from you.

toomanystuffedbears · 28/12/2011 22:13

FootyNutter, I have never said this to anyone before, but you remove all scruple:

(edit) (not sacraficing scruple for this)

My advice:
buy an appliance, then take and complete an ethics class.

Btw, married or not, NO, I would never find myself in this predicament
because I simply know right from wrong, (and I am a civilized person with control over animal instincts!).

Here is to seriously hoping you are writing a novel and are scratching (itching? ) for some material.

adamschic · 28/12/2011 22:55

I've been lurking and posting on mnet for many years and reckon that mostly posts are made up. It makes me laugh to see how many posters take it all at face value. Keep the faith, this is an open site and anyone would be mad to take it seriously.

In the unlikely case that this is true then to the op, take it as it comes, just because he isn't free doesn't mean he is using you, you wanted him and know you need to wait and see if he dumps you or not, who cares

loopylou6 · 28/12/2011 23:00

Adamschic. if you like fiction, may I suggest you read a novel?

If you've been lurking for 'many years' then I reckon you'd get a better thrill reading a Jackie Collins novel than deciding that 'most of stuff here is made up'

Just saying.

rubyrubyruby · 28/12/2011 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 28/12/2011 23:11

i dont necessarily believe mn stuff, but that doesn't impede my enjoyment.its just words on a screen I don't need authentication or corroboration

loopylou6 · 28/12/2011 23:11

Me neither. It would defeat the whole point of getting an outsiders advice.

adamschic · 29/12/2011 13:49

I can read and post what I want it's an open forum. I don't read trashy novels, thanks.

Abitwobblynow · 06/01/2012 17:09

What part of this man's incredible list of problems is attracting you?

He is entangled, he is not available, he proves he can't sort out emotional problems, he uses you and the high of the chase to distract himself...

he sounds like a an absolute peach, a catch of the century.

Men behave badly and run away from their problems because there is always some needy, naive woman who helps him.

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