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Original poster

Everytime he buys me something, he tells me it's reduced in price

30 replies

Chesting · 21/12/2011 22:05

I have posted about this before but I can't quite get my head around why he does it. I'm just looking for a straight answer here - it isn't right to persistantly let your partner know that everything you buy for them is reduced, is it? or actually is it really no big deal?

He comes in with a big box of chocolates and the first thing he tells me is "they were reduced btw".
He comes in with a cute cake and says "I got you this! It was reduced"
Big Chocolate bar - "Here you go Smile as you'll probably guess it was reduced"

Why does he need to tell me EVERYTIME?? I don't care that the stuff is reduced, I'm not a snob, chocolate doesn't cease to taste nice because the box is damaged but why he need to confirm EVERY time that it was reduced?

I'm quite ill at the moment with a chest infection. He text me earlier and said "are you in around 9pm? I have something for you".

9pm he walks down the garden path with a lovely bouquet of flowers. Made me smile, I thanked him and the first thing he said was "they were reduced".

From £8 to 99p.

Why does he do that? just takes the shine of everything. Am I just being picky or would this annoy you too? Honestly I can't remember him buying me anything that WASN'T reduced.

OP posts:
itsxmascryingagain · 21/12/2011 22:08

I would be amazed if anyone wanted to buy me something - reduced or not!

namechangerbat · 21/12/2011 22:09

It would piss me off. Just tell him. or do it back to him and see what he says

SandStorm · 21/12/2011 22:10

Is he proud of the fact he's got a bargain?

jade80 · 21/12/2011 22:10

I reckon it's his hunter gatherer instinct coming out- ''me man, me find you good things''. He's probably proud of finding you a bargain and doesn't see how it must seem from your POV. Maybe he went in for flowers with a fiver and spotted a fab bunch that were reduced so he could still afford them? Hence feels chuffed and doesn't spot that you aren't! Misguided, but quite sweet really.

Or he's a cheap twat.

You decide, based on the rest of what you know about him!

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 21/12/2011 22:10

I do this too, could you just tell him not to?
The reason I do it is because my dad always used to make me feel deeply guilty about any purchase I made from food to clothes to CD's so now I always feel the need to justify what I've spent, could this be the problem? Often extreme personality traits stem from some level of mental discomfort within the person who displays them which is worth bearing in mind when he annoys you?
just a suggestion really.

Hassledge · 21/12/2011 22:10

It would annoy the fuck out of me.

Is he generally a bit tight?

RudolphthePinkNosedReindeer · 21/12/2011 22:13

Well, see this is his stretegy. He sees something nice that's been marked down and is a real bargain. The first thing he thinks is 'would Chesting like this?' If so, he gets it. He tells you it was reduced so you know he hasn't broken the bank and so he doesn't sound too soppy for getting you a gift. :)

scentednappyhag · 21/12/2011 22:14

My step-dad does this to my mum- he's just so proud of himself that he's bought her something nice and found a bargain at the same time. Drives her round the bend though Smile
If he's nice in other ways, I'd just tell him how it pisses you off makes you uncomfortable, and hope that he takes note.

liverLadyLass · 21/12/2011 23:46

Are you maybe worried that he sees, that a bargain is only good enough for you???

RumourOfAHurricane · 21/12/2011 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ninedragons · 22/12/2011 00:02

This wouldn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I would be very pleased. But then I am tighter than Spanx.

DH is the same.

I think you're reading too much into it. Some people genuinely get excited about a bargain. It doesn't mean that he values you less, it just means he's thrilled with himself.

SnowFunIntended · 22/12/2011 01:16

I'd be impressed he is so good at MoneySaving! I like a bargain, and I like a man who doesn't fritter money away. Win.

eandz · 22/12/2011 01:27

actually, I appreciate things more when they are reduced. maybe because I have no money.

SinicalSanta · 22/12/2011 01:30

well if he is chuffed when he spots a bargain it's just his nature. If he buys reduced stuff for himself as well it's fine. I love a bargain and am watchin g the pennies at the moment so I prefer to get things reduced and do tell DH. Hope he doesn't mind, now i think about it.
You could just tell him not to tell you!

NorkyPiesWithJingleBellsOn · 22/12/2011 01:33

He probably thinks you'll be pleased he got a bargain. Just tell him it's not very romantic.

squeakytoy · 22/12/2011 02:21

I tell my husband that things were reduced, even when they werent...

He likes to think I spend less money than I really do Grin

I am sure he thinks steak tastes better if it was yellow label... Confused

mirai · 22/12/2011 02:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BalloonSlayer · 22/12/2011 05:35

I'd assume he grew up with one parent constantly criticising the other about spending too much money, he feels like he has to justify his extravagance.

On the other hand, my Dad was on the autistic spectrum and would tell you in gleeful triumph how cheaply he had managed to get your birthday present at the boot fair, with no apparent understanding that people might find his first choice of sales emporium for buying a present being a boot fair a) incomprehensible b) a bit insulting.

Admiraltea · 22/12/2011 06:00

point of pride in my house.... if it's got a yellow sticker on it WINNER...bought my own flowers from big name supermarket for 50p... get very very very annoyed with waste.
He buys you stuff and is proving he thinks about saving .. I really do not get your upset...
You can have my ex... he bought me loads of stuff and also delivered several CCJ's and bailiffs etc etc

nooka · 22/12/2011 06:14

Food stuff I really don't see as a big deal at all. I will often only do those impulse 'saw this and thought you woudl like it' when things are reduced. Not because I don't love dh, but it just provides that extra incentive to thing 'go on treat him'. I would tell him that it was on special offer, why not?

Obviously things that are damaged or past their best is another matter, but I don't see anything wrong with buying things that are on special (possibly because I personally am a sucker for them). My response would probably to agree with him that it was a good bargain.

However this has obviously got your goat. Have you told your dp/h that it bugs you?

lazarusinNazareth · 22/12/2011 17:39

Dh used to buy me things then, at some point in the next few hours/days, tell me the price of it! Used to get right on my tits! I just couldn't see WHY he felt I needed to know.
I told him I didn't want to know, whether it cost a pound or a hundred and he doesn't do it any more. (Although the other day he did tell me he has got me something silly for Christmas - I said "Is this where you tell me how much it cost?", he looked hurt and said no Blush). So we both learnt a lesson there I think!

MsLillyBeth · 22/12/2011 17:58

Aww Chesting, he sounds a sweetie to even think about buying you gifts and probably has no concept of how you feel when he says he got a bargain. How about just telling him that you really appreciate his gifts, that he?s a darling for thinking about you like that, and that it would be even better if he didn?t mention the money part of it? If he were tight he wouldn?t be buying you stuff at all, so I reckon, as others have said, he?s just really chuffed that he got you something you like and that he didn?t pay full price for it?win, win eh!

QueenCess · 22/12/2011 18:04

Well he is glorying in the double delight of not only getting you something you like but getting it at a bargain price as well. It pleases you both then!

I wouldn't have an issue with it as he sounds thoughtful and kind.

Clayhead · 22/12/2011 18:10

In our family it's seen as a badge of honour if it's reduced!

Abitwobblynow · 25/12/2011 12:33

What else does he do apart from that that [makes you feel less than]?

Please don't let other people put you off. If it offends you and makes you feel less valued, that is how you feel and it is also a big fat clue.

So - what else?