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Original poster

Oh boy am I having to be a grown up - lust strikes again!

49 replies

ThompsonTwins · 20/12/2011 23:30

I am in my late 50s and have an 18 year daughter who has a gorgeous 18 year old boyfriend. He is fit (1st XV back row), highly intelligent, amusing etc etc. I think about him a lot. Far too much, sad old woman that I am, not having had a man in my own life for years. That's not for want of trying but I have joined the legion of the invisible, older women. Anyone else find themselves having wicked thoughts about a DD's boyfriend? Am not asking for advice, I know what to do or rather what definitely not to do! Still, the freest place of all is inside one's own head (and one has quite a vivid imagination). Would never, ever act on these thoughts - could never betray DD or make such a colossal fool of myself (in that order). I suppose any older person can lust quietly after any younger person (even 40 odd years younger). Or is that just lusting after lost youth? Interested to hear of anyone else's experiences or thoughts. Does it seem worse for a woman to lust after a boy, albeit one of 18 (yes I know he is legally an adult) than for a middle-aged man to lust after a girl of that age? Has anyone ever had a fling or relationship with a guy many years (say at least 20) younger?

OP posts:
TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 20/12/2011 23:38

Its perfectly normal and if you have been giving him the ogles he would be aware that you fancy him as well. Watch out for him making a move, some young men are known to like a older woman.

OldLadyKnowsSantaClaus · 20/12/2011 23:39

I have only sons, now adult, but I have never looked at any of their friends and thought "whoar!" But then, none of them were particularly striking, all the rugby players have that battered look round my way.

Otoh, as we are of a similar age, I find it perfectly acceptable to perve over George Clooney in his younger days. He's a year older than me... Grin

PattySimcox · 20/12/2011 23:40

Oooh you could make £200 getting your story published in Take A Break or somesuch Wink

Someone on here told an amusing tale of their friend pointing out a handsome young man that she had been admiring only for the MNer to open window and yell "Hello DS" - so I think you are not alone on that front

Original poster
ThompsonTwins · 20/12/2011 23:47

What is an ogle? Are you talking about that series with Richard Briers? Or a hideous being found in stories? No, am wrinkled old prune compared with his tender young flesh... He would phsl or be revolted. DD is beautiful and fabulous (if horribly idle in the helping in the house department) and he lusts only after her. Daniel Craig would be a much better match for me (and only about 16 years younger!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
ThompsonTwins · 20/12/2011 23:50

But is of course hitched to Rachel Weisz. Is there just one, available, decent, just a little bit hot guy anywhere, who is not in school uniform?? Should I post that on the quiz thread do you think?

OP posts:
ClaraSage · 21/12/2011 00:22

But if you were a 50 yr old man lusting after an 18 yr old girl, that would be a different story altogether.
Not so funny then? You would be called a few nasty names.
I have 2 teenaged sons (15 and 18) and I get a bit peed off with the comments from my female neighbours (all 40 plus).
Now, I imagine if there were girls and the male neighbours were making such comments it would be tolally unacceptable.
Double standards ,very annoying.

mynewpassion · 21/12/2011 00:30

Lusting over someone who is 3x younger than me? Gross, regardless of male or female.

Lusting over daughter's boyfriend? Crosses too many lines and worse than the above. Almost incestuous.

tadpoles · 21/12/2011 00:46

Hmmmm - well before everyone gets on their (inevitable and rather irritating) high horses I can remember my teenage daughters being at family parties where there were several married men of my age (and my partner's age) who could not keep their eyes off them. I guess at the time I thought it was a bit creepy - I think they did too.

But - heck, those lovely teenagers are rather gorgeous. Not sure we should judge so harshly - maybe it's just a case of clamouring after youth.

RudolphthePinkNosedReindeer · 21/12/2011 00:58

Speaking of incestuous tendencies, the woman in me couldn't help thinking DS was a bit of alright when he became the young man that he is now Blush But then he does take after OH in looks, so perhaps it is not so surprising.

ike1 · 21/12/2011 01:05

Lordy ladies let us just relax. We are appreciating the young male form as did the grecians...

mynewpassion · 21/12/2011 01:34

There's a difference between appreciating or admiring a young person for their looks and lusting over them.

I would say "what a cutie or oh, he is so handsome or she's beautiful" but I wouldn't give them much thought beyond that.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 21/12/2011 07:34

I think you need to take up a hobby

Malificence · 21/12/2011 08:03

It's nasty and creepy.
HTH.

ClaraSage · 21/12/2011 09:04

Yes, by all means, comment on their beauty but to lust after them is unacceptable.

worldgonecrazy · 21/12/2011 09:10

I have found as I have got older, that the men I fancy have also got older. I don't think I could physically be attracted to anyone under the age of 25.

When I was younger I couldn't possibly imagine finding a man over the age of 50 attractive either, but we all change.

Maybe when I'm 80 I'll start lusting over the 20 somethings again?

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 21/12/2011 09:15

unless you have some catholic background telling you god is watching your thoughts and sending you to hell i think you should just forget about it. fantasy is normal. fantasy is known for having content that has nothing in common with what you would really do in real life.

beating yourself up about fantasy is daft.

and yeah some of it will be about lost youth.

just keep it in your head and no harm is done x

izzywhizzysmincepies · 21/12/2011 16:14

I am a connoisseur of male beauty and I saw a particularly memorable young specimen the other day

In olden days one come hither look would have been sufficient to have him wash himself and present his eager body in my tent, but if I'd given him 'the look' he'd have thought I had a something in my eye and, if he had gentlemanly tendencies, he would have hotfooted it to Boots for a bottle of Optrex.

The sight of some young males of today temporarily persuades me that they didn't make them like that when I was under 30. However, the truth is that I bedded more than my fair share of drop-dead gorgeous specimens but I simply didn't have the perspective to see them as I do now.

Bette Davis said 'ageing isn't for cissies'. She was right but it's an interesting journey with some pleasant scenery to admire and the occasional detour en route.

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 16:45

But OP, you say, "Has anyone ever had a fling or relationship with a guy many years (say at least 20) younger?" but it's not a 20 year difference, is it? It's FORTY YEARS FFS!

You sound like a lech, to be honest.

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 16:48

It's one thing to appreciate that your daughter's boyfriend is really goodlooking, but another to lust after him.

Have to say when you said "tender young flesh", you made my own skin crawl.

I'm so glad my son isn't going out with your daughter.

AnyFuckerForBreastorLeg · 21/12/2011 17:00

I usually get a bit bored of the "let's switch genders, and see what people say then" game on threads

but on this one ?

it needs saying, tbh

Robotindisguise · 21/12/2011 17:07

Keep it firmly in your head and for Christ's sake don't flirt with him. I really don't understand how you could possibly find an 18 year old attractive. I'm a good 20 years younger than you and I view 18 year olds as children.

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 21/12/2011 17:27

What is wrong if there is mutual attraction ? Age should not matter then. Wrinkly old men have married pretty 20 year olds and the same can happen the other way round. Andre agassi dated Barbara streisand didnt he ?

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 17:39

Me too, Robot. I teach boys that age and think, "Oh I would have liked him when I was that age" or "I bet he gives the girls a hard time" but never, ever think sexual thoughts about them.

TheTruth, don't you think it makes a difference if it's a boy your own daughter is dating? Don't you think maternal thoughts are more normal than lustful thoughts?

greenmoo · 21/12/2011 17:41

Generally I agree fantasy is harmless, but fantasising about somebody who is going out with a close family member is quite dangerous. I think you're on dodgy ground OP. And am I the only one who thinks this thread has gotten uncomfortably icky in places? Rudolph - not cool.

Personally I would never date, and therefore never fantasise, about somebody for whom I was old enough to be their mum i.e. 16 years younger than me or more.

999HELPMYPUDDINGSONFIRE · 21/12/2011 18:58

Eeeewwww that's gross.
That man is having sex with YOUR DAUGHTER.
This point makes it beyond wrong in itself.

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