Oh boy am I having to be a grown up - lust strikes again!

[ThompsonTwins]

I am in my late 50s and have an 18 year daughter who has a gorgeous 18 year old boyfriend. He is fit (1st XV back row), highly intelligent, amusing etc etc. I think about him a lot. Far too much, sad old woman that I am, not having had a man in my own life for years. That's not for want of trying but I have joined the legion of the invisible, older women. Anyone else find themselves having wicked thoughts about a DD's boyfriend? Am not asking for advice, I know what to do or rather what definitely not to do! Still, the freest place of all is inside one's own head (and one has quite a vivid imagination). Would never, ever act on these thoughts - could never betray DD or make such a colossal fool of myself (in that order). I suppose any older person can lust quietly after any younger person (even 40 odd years younger). Or is that just lusting after lost youth? Interested to hear of anyone else's experiences or thoughts. Does it seem worse for a woman to lust after a boy, albeit one of 18 (yes I know he is legally an adult) than for a middle-aged man to lust after a girl of that age? Has anyone ever had a fling or relationship with a guy many years (say at least 20) younger?

Hardly even a man, 999.

I am merely revealing my innermost secret thoughts on an anonymous forum among people I know will respect that. I did think 'icky' myself as I experienced these thoughts, then reassured myself that I can't be the first mother to have had them. I'm not fantasizing about him, just realising some young women have been and will be, v lucky

Eugh how perverted.

I'm 50 and I've never fancied 18 year old boys - not even when I was that age myself. I have sons of 16 and 18 and some of their friends are attractive but I certainly wouldn't lust after them!

I think a fleeting thought of 'phwoar!' would be normal but constant lustful thoughts about one particular individual certainly isn't.

Ewww, ewww, ewww......keep your pervy old lady thoughts to yourself.

I can hear the swish of 1001 brains being bleached right now.

Ew something about your OP makes me feel a bit icky - sorry.

Yes it's fair enough finding someone attractive when you meet them, but to 'find yourself having wicked thoughts' about him means you're allowing yourself to take it a good few steps further in your head and fantasise about him - that's what I find a bit grim.

Personally I see 18 year olds as children - despite only being in my 30's myself. I really hope that never changes

And PS - can you imagine how disgusted and mortified your DD would be if she realised what was going on in your head?

It's fine, just have a quiet ogle and be grateful that your daughter has a good-looking boyfriend.
Is your DD called Stacy?

No don't ogle, that's the whole point!

Can't you find someone else to fancy other than your DD's boyfriend? There's a big world out there, with loads of ogleable men. Maybe you just need to get out there a bit more?

Maybe you need to take up life drawing?
The human form is beautiful and the young fit athletes will have us all admiring next year in the Olympics. Wasn't there many fan clubs for Phelps last time? I thought he was lovely - very masculine and healthy: (face not so much) it's these sort of discriminations that keep the human race going.

Cut the OP some slack: she had repeatedly said she will not act on her attraction / desire, nor betray her DD.

Crikey - some of us have an aesthetic sense, it doesn't mean we're going to do anything about it! I also have been knocked backwards by beauty.
Menopausal hormones have a part to play too.

It is a shame you feel invisible though OP... maybe time to do something for yourself?

I hope that this is more down to seeing your daughter's blossoming relationship bringing out wistful feelings remembering how lovely it is in the first flush of romance, rather than you perving over someone 4 decades younger than you.

My mother had the self same thoughts about my 16 year old boyfriend when I was 14.

She had an affair with him. Broke up the family and caused a lot of ongoing mental health problems for me.

When things are taboo that includes your lustful thoughts too.

OP. why not lust after youngish girls instead if it's young flesh that gets you going - much safer and you wouldn't be taken so seriously by people who judge!

ogle/lust - but fgs dont act on it

my FIL actually once made a pass at me, (he is dead now) saying he had read about younger women running off with older men, this was as he tried to kiss me, in my own home, as my DH was in bed.

needless to say it spoiled our relationship, and i could not get away fast enough. i never had much time for him after that, funnily enough.

so dont do/say anything and dont ogle toooo much. keep it to yourself.

Ugh, Vicar, how horrible. Did you tell your DH?

FabbyChic I swear to god sometimes you remind me of a Lesley Pearce novel...Not in a bad way I love a good saga!

I can appreciate beauty, I can look and say "god, he or she is gorgeous!" I would not say "god I want to fuck him" Simple as[gavel]

Imp - i did, but i begged him not to say anything and he didnt.

DH mum and dad had not long split up and i think he was depressed, i would have happily forgotten it and moved on, and i told his dad the same, but every time i saw his dad after that he would say something about it, so i started avoiding him.

sad really. daft deluded old bugger.

Half your age plus seven. That's the limit

Tender young flesh? Really? Urgh.

Reads like a journalist.

I'm only 30, teens (even 18yr olds) look like children to me, maybe I am old before my time.

I would not lust after someone who still could be at school and I am in my twenties! Appreciating that they are good looking is fine but lusting, as in actually fantasising is ick.

Yes the 'lust strikes again!' line reminds me of a certain newspaper....mmm...who could it be?