Online Dating help please.

[SantasStrapon]

New Year's resolution, starting early, is to get a life. I'd like to join a couple of dating sites and dip my toe in the man watvr. Problem is, I have no idea how to write a profile, etc. How do I write a profile that is attractive, fun, but steers the nutters away from me. Bearing in mind, I am a total nutter magnet.

Bit of help please

well done for being proactive.

I've not done OLD myself but my brother- 47- has and I helped him with his profile. I've also helped a few friends.

I think you need to choose your site carefully- if you pay you are less likely to find men who just want a shag or a bit on the side. Not always though!

In your profile you need to be honest, upbeat and deffo not "needy" or putting yourself down in any way.

I think you also need to be honest about if you want a long term thing or jst friends/ casual.

I don't think you can steer nutters away by a profile- you have to wait until you meet them just as you would in RL!

if you want to draft a profile and let me see it be happy to give it the once over!

Thanks Amelia

Lord, where to start. I was thinking of putting something like this:

Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a happy go lucky, fun loving person who is looking for someone special (bleurgh, cliche) to share my life. I'm intelligent (lies), enjoy going out, and am equally happy outdoors or curled up inside on a cold winter's day. I like riding and swimming, walking in the fresh air and lazing on the beach. I enjoy cooking, and am a pretty good cook, cake is my speciality. I've got a good if slightly warped sense of humour, and enjoy socialising, parties, eating out and culture stuff.

Odd facts about me. I have a pet raven and my name isn't Sarah.

I'm an honest, loyal person, so if you are already in a relationship I'm not your type.

WTF else do I put?

But why are you a nutter magnet, ??
I have never been on one of the dating sites, but I would think it best to be honest about yourself, but more important to state what you want in your man, if that's how it works. On this site I love to read your input, you are very quick & very witty at replying on posts. You seem to have a great personality .course I could be wrong anyway good luck.

ofcourseIcouldbewrong--

Thank you flat. I have no idea, they just seem to flock to me probably kindred spirits.

Describe your ideal man ,looks build hair sort of build yourself a mate .

Ideal man, over 6ft, has hair, slim size 32-34 waist, intelligent, able to talk about current affairs, self sufficient and happy in own company.

Dont go on POF its shit.

Hmm, well I'm tall, so 6ft+, medium build, would rather someone slightly overweight than skinny. Sort of rugged with a heart of gold crap really. Someone who is good and kind, likes children and animals. Doesn't mind my huge shopping habit and has a decent job and income.

I'd prefer someone who doesn't want to skulk about indoors all day, wants to travel and doesn't have jealousy issues.

No, no POF have heard about POF on here! Site recommendations would be very welcome.

I'm umm, 'shopping' on uniformdating, happily clicking away at the like button. If only there was a 'checkout' option, I'd be as happy as the proverbial pig in clover.

Badoo is free my friend just met someone nice on there and its going really well, you can pay though to for extras, have to have a minimum of three pictures, works like MSN really you chat to people who live near you but can change the parameters.

Guardian Soulmates is good. Lots of attractive, interesting men on there. Very London/South East based though...

I'm up in Lincolnshire, London/South East doesn't work for me.

Second Guardian Soulmates. It's where I met my DH -we now have a little boy, and made a couple of very good friends, too.

I think that the profiles that work best are those that are showing rather than telling, if you see what I mean? Rather than describing and listing, write something that is indicative of your character and sensibilities.

Also, I think photos count for a lot. Just the way it is, really. Because of my job I was unwilling to display my photo at the time, but Guardian Soulmates allows for a private option where you only show your photos to people you want to. You have to enable it each time - you can choose to do it before people ask, or you can wait for people to ask and then OK it.

It's supposed to be most effective if you write 2/3 about yourself, 1/3 about your ideal partner.
I can't believe you're a nutter magnet, you sound so sane on here.

Oh I am Tag, believe me I am. I'm also astounded that you consider me sane. Are you sure you're not muddling me up with a normal Sarah?

If you know how to use a strapon you could put that in the profile as well. Or maybe not, that might attract all sorts of nutters.

This is what I put on GS. Which was, I have to say, entirely unsuccessful.

OK so the list didn't work and I need to edit my profile a bit!

I'd also like to take the opportunity to say that I'm not particularly forward so, if you like what you see, please say hello. I'm a happy go lucky sort of person and am always up for a laugh. I always try to make the best of a situation I hate whingers & obsessive people scare me. I love my children & our animals & have 2 horses, dogs & a couple of ridiculously tame ferrets! I enjoy going out with my friends or going out for a ride but I'm just as happy curled up with a good book or film. I hope I'm kind, loyal, affectionate & fun to be with.

I'm also slightly confused that 'Xylophone' appears on the list of Activities to like, yet 'Walking' and 'Lazing on the Beach' don't. Odd.

This is the scary list of what I'm like:

Tall
Relaxed
Happy
Like mucking about
Like being outside
Curvy but not fat - how do I explain that? I have ticked 'average' on the body thing.
Like walking/riding
Like animals
Like socialising
Do not smoke, do not object to others smoking.
Not much of a drinker - odd glass of wine occasionally. I don't need alcohol to have fun.
Like making people laugh, but am not a stand up comic, or one of those annoying 'me I'm the life and soul' people. Generally I want to beat them with a blunt instrument.
Can cook, enjoy cooking, but don't expect anything above standard dinner party fare. Heston B I am not. Although I do try.
Like beaches/sun
Also like open fires/snow etc
Love reading, films, going to the cinema, watching rugby and cricket. Although I don't understand them. I just like watching the players run about.

Maybe I should delete the bit about beating annoying people with a blunt instrument...

And this is what I wrote about what I am looking for:

Hmmm, difficult one. I'm a hopeless romantic with a firm belief in soulmates. I've just not met mine yet, could you be The One? Ideally, I'd like to meet someone with a similar outlook on life, and interests. My life is very happy, very 'outdoors' based, and I'd love someone to share that with. My biggest no-no would be possessiveness and jealously. Having a sane extended family, and the ability to hold a civilised conversation would be a distinct advantage. Not that I can guarantee anything like that in return...

Have a look at other GS profiles, to see what you like & don't like. I'd avoid happy-go-lucky and direct mention of your children, but that's just my opinion. Hating whingers & obsessives seems a good thing to put... it might scare off some of the nutters. Same goes for beating with a stick.

Good point, I did mean to delete that. And get rid of the horses.

And the ferrets cos they were my neighbours.
And change dogs to dog.
And add a cat in.
And a raven.

I wouldn't say that you don't want possessiveness etc- far better to say what positive attrbutes- not negative.

If you want to meet someone who likes the outdoors, my brother like Muddy Matches- worth having a look at the site.

He has also made it clear he doesn't want children- even step kids. Cuts down his chances but he thinks as it's a big issue he needs to be honest.

You'll find a lot of sites have "tick boxes" so some of what you like/want etc can go into those instead of what you write.

How would I word that Amelia?

TBH I don't think you can or should- not in those words because some men might not even recognise that! that they are possessive etc!

Maybe you could say "My ideal relationship is one where we spend lots of time together/ have fun together ( give examples maybe of usual cliches- log fires, walks in country, blah blah) but also where we can both have some independence / have some personal space/ do our own thing / pursue our own hobbies for some of the time..without it being an issue.

I@m 100% faithful when I'm in a committed relationship, but I also like a bit of personal space and hope you will agree that this is healthy in a relationship.

( you need to make sure this doesn't come over as you wanting to play the field at the same time....)

summit like this anyway!!!!

Dont mention your kids ever, you are not looking for a father for your kids you are looking for a man for you.

You are basically trying to sell yourself, don't go into too much detail, leave it so it's mysterious so there are questions they could ask.