WTF is wrong with me?????

[FlightRisk]

I know its partly the time of year but its also getting a bit epic now. I have been single for YEARS and I mean YEARS.

Is it so wrong to just want a bit of male attention??

I don't really want a casual thing, I'm 32 a single mum and I'm starting to want to settle, (I've done the fling thing years ago) but I'm really really lonely and I also (to put it bluntly) I need some sex!!

I honestly don't know whats wrong with me and why I can't meet a man who I'm remotely attracted to and doesn't have to be 3 sheets to the wind to speak to me???

One of my aunties was texting me tonight. Asking if I had a fella yet?? (we live miles away from eachother so never see eachother) but why ask??? Why remind me that I am still on the shelf?? Believe me if I remotely had someone in my life I'd be screaming it from the rooftops

OP I met my DP on plenty of fish, there are some decent fellas on there, you just have to get past the willy pics and the tossers! Also I kept my profile short, sharp to the point, I did put a picture up but made sure it didn't show any boob.

Anyway I messaged him saying 'how are you?' anyway, we are now planning our wedding so dating sites do work, you just have to put the work in

Good luck on your quest

It's all changed so much, hasn't it?!

I think it's unlikely you'll meet someone "on the dance floor" or in a club or even a pub. Men who go to places like that to pick up women are usually not after a "relationship" (fine if you feel the same though).

Single friends of mine in their thirties met their partners through hobbies/interests like "climbing" (more men than women, and you start with a common interest!) or kite surfing or something like that, also charity work that is hands on (soup kitchen). Or language courses. That way you can have casual chats without this massive expectation looming over you if you date through Internet.

You have to think what sort of man you like, and where they would hang out...

Guardian is very London/South East orientated, I've not been impressed purely because I'm not on that area. I get interest, but it's always of a 'wish you were nearer' sort.

I'd still recommend MuddyMatches. The men on there seem to be genuine, and decent so far.

My brother and my SIL met through Sarah Beeny's website, where your friend writes your profile for you. They got married a year later and now have a two year old and another one on the way. They're very happy and a great match.

Another very good friend of mine has used the Guardian Soulmates thing and met her bf there - they've been together for two and a half years now. She dated quite a few men through the Guardian, I don't think she had any sleazy responses.

I actually thought about volunteering at my local RSPCA. I'm really into animals so a like minded fella would be great.

chandon I had this conversion with said slapper friend (see above post). I have never met any of my boyfriends in a pub or club the ones I did meet in those places were definately not boyfriend material.

I'll have a look at muddymatches too Xx

My brother is on Muddy Matches!

TBH I don't know if this has been said already but you need to make your social circle bigger and do things you enjoy doing! One of my friends has got married for the 1st time in her mid 40s to a man she meet playing croquet!

I think the trick to finding a man is to just relax- make sure you look your best whenever, as you don't know who you might bump into- then do a mix of things- dating sites, make new friends, get involved in stuff- like volunteering, or sports, or learning French- whatever!

You just need to keep yourself out tthere- and not come over as desperate.

Its all well and good saying that but I have a DS and sorry but he needs taking care of. I don't have the time (or the money) to be out doing all sorts of things like classes. At the moment I fit in what I can but its not easy!!!

That does sound very negative.

What about one evening a week when you could get a babysitter?

Is your DS at school or nursery? if so- do you work? Is work somewhere you could meet people- andif not, could you change your job so it opened up more options for you?

I was on pof. I have a private photo and I always make contact first and attach the photo. I like pof as because it's free, once you meet someone you take yourself off the site. Also there are a lot of local folk on it. But you do have to see quite a few before you hit it off with someone.

I feel that with the paying ones the guy will feel that as he's paid for six months, he should stay on in case something better comes along.On paying sites you ofen have to ring up and cancel whereas with pof you just close your account. (It's hard to cancel the others as well as they try and persuade you to stay)

Pof is very good for practising dating and doesn't put you on other sites. Been on daing direct and then they put your profile on match.com as well. Also, you join for 3 months and then it defaults to 6 months at the final payment so suddenly the amount you pay is nearly double.

EHarmony was my biggest failure, been on twice (2nd time was special offer, otherwise wouldn't have) and I didn't meet anyone in the total of 6 months I was on, despite a lot of effort on my part.

I have a daughter at home and my first meet is always in the daytime, a quick coffee locally, for about an hour. I try and chat on the phone after a few messages and I have on my profile that I want to chat early and meet up if we hit it off. I try to deter those that just want to message online forever. If a guy likes you he will fit into what spare time you have to see him.

You can even get a date for the same day on there, it's quick and easy and actually quite enjoyable. Just a peck on the cheek when you part, you both now whether there's a spark there or not.

I've found someone now by the way, he's probably about the 12th guy I've met on there.

Good luck

x

OOh spiritual thank you for a great post you've just boosted my hopes.

Plenty of fish here I come.

PS I have had a nice message off a fit guy today so..................Xx

I don't know if I like POF. Loads of men with their children in the picture with them

Are they hoping to attract women that way??? How does that work not all dads are great boyfriends and vice versa.

Fair enough I'm a single mother but I want someone for me. sorry but I'll decide if he's right for my child if he's right for me first.

they probably don't have any other pics and can't ask their wives anyone to take one of them!

Saw a thing on TV where they drew up a list of required characteristics (age, interests etc) then got all family,friends,acquaintances to introduce anyone likely. It worked.

Oh god no not family and friends picking my auntie would be all "as long as he's a nice boy" and my friends would be what they think is right as this has proved in the past

I'm getting nice messages off 2 fit guys at the mo (if its really them in the pictures) so there'll be a date soon I reckon. Neither of them are off POF. Fingers and toes are crossed Xx

Just been asked on a date by fit guy.

Ok now all my panicing is kicking in ie it better really be him in the picture, I haven't been on a date for bloody ages. What the bloody hell will I where??? Argh!!

all those poor unfit guys out there. they don't get a look in do they. I wonder why fit guys are on a dating website? take care op and "always" tell a friend when and where you are meeting the fit guys.

always not bloody quote marks!

My fit guy might not be somebody elses fit guy and er I'm a fit girl and I'm on a website??!! Don't worry I've told friend and I'm meeting during the day anyway