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Original poster

WTF is wrong with me?????

68 replies

FlightRisk · 10/12/2011 21:37

I know its partly the time of year but its also getting a bit epic now. I have been single for YEARS and I mean YEARS.

Is it so wrong to just want a bit of male attention??

I don't really want a casual thing, I'm 32 a single mum and I'm starting to want to settle, (I've done the fling thing years ago) but I'm really really lonely and I also (to put it bluntly) I need some sex!!

I honestly don't know whats wrong with me and why I can't meet a man who I'm remotely attracted to and doesn't have to be 3 sheets to the wind to speak to me???

One of my aunties was texting me tonight. Asking if I had a fella yet?? (we live miles away from eachother so never see eachother) but why ask??? Why remind me that I am still on the shelf?? Believe me if I remotely had someone in my life I'd be screaming it from the rooftops Xmas Smile

OP posts:
VikingLady · 14/12/2011 16:15

Do your friends know it is OK to set you up? They can be keeping an eye out for eligible males for you... They come ready-vetted!

Do you have nay major interests you'd like a bloke to share? Maybe you could join a reading group that has some blokes in (very cheap to do), or a cinema club (if you like obscure films), or a language class (my mum has done this, she's 53 and some of the chaps in her class are in their 30s). Anything like that? At least they will be sober and have something to talk about!

Original poster
FlightRisk · 14/12/2011 21:12

KittyAnne

I have become more ruthless on the dating site now. I've also decided to make my picture private because otherwise I get messages like my latest one "I would love to bang you". Xmas Hmm Delightful eh!

I am feeling better about it at the moment I'm currently messaging 3 potentials on my new site but only joined on Sunday so we'll just have to see.

VikingLady

My friends know that it is not ok to set me up. I have been there before. when we broke up it caused all sorts of problems. He wouldn't come to parties if I was there etc all because it just wasn't working out between us.

OP posts:
KittyAnne · 14/12/2011 21:31

Well FlightRisk I will keep everything I can cross, crossed for you regards the online dating.

Hey, he wanted to bang you. Admittedly there are better introductions out there but at least he was upfront... Xmas Hmm

Possibly not a keeper that one..

Here is a completely unscientific summary IMO:
Plenty of Fish: Poor spellers who want to wipe their dripping penis on your curtains and will never call you. And you'll be glad.
My Single Friend: People who have been shoved into it by a pushy friend who thinks it's about time they got over their ex but in reality their heart's not in it and they will probably sob about lost love after two Martinis and try to paw your tits.
Guardian Soul Mates: Mixed bag of talent. Some incredibly unfortunate looking specimens. All of them poor. Lots of human rights lawyers.
Match: Works in marketing, will talk about themselves a lot. Will ejaculate on your breasts and never call.
EHarmony: Wears chinos, calls you mummy during intercourse.
Zoosk: As Plenty of Fish only with a better haircut. Works in sales from a portacabin.
Daily Mail Dating: Likes spanking, will point out your cellulite.

Original poster
FlightRisk · 14/12/2011 21:50

haha I will seriously worry about any guy that drinks martinis anyway. He surely wouldn't be for me

As for the rest you don't need dating websites to meet any of them! Xx

OP posts:
VikingLady · 15/12/2011 10:12

I can see your point about being set up!

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 19:57

OK I've been asked out on a date by a guy off the dating site. I don't fancy him at all (he looks older than he is) but he's nice and polite and I've just been chatting to him but nothing he says really makes me think we're compatible. He's quite boring really and his profile is a bit needy desperate. Do I give him a chance or say no rather than lead him on?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 28/12/2011 20:01

What sort of interests do you have, OP? What do you like to do in your spare time?

How much free time do you have?

If you tell us roughly where you live, we could look out for things for you.

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 20:08

I'm an outdoors girl. I do get to do things but I always have ds with me.

I can get a babysitter for nights out but not to do other things.

Anyway back to my last question. Do I go on the date or not?

OP posts:
Gay40 · 28/12/2011 20:15

No.

fridakahlo · 28/12/2011 20:15

Doesn't sound like you have anything to loose. Maybe just meet for a coffee and then you can leave fairly quickly.

SarahStratton · 28/12/2011 20:20

Try MuddyMatches if you're outdoorsy. The men are quite sane too.

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 20:23

Ok Gay straight to the point. Why? Do you think I would be leading him on?

OP posts:
hatesponge · 28/12/2011 20:27

If you don't find him attractive honestly don't bother. At best you will have a pleasant time with a man you don't fancy. At worst you will end up sitting there thinking 'shit is this really the best I can do...'

I'd give it a massive swerve.

(I've been single for 3 years so feel your pain. And am 39 so far more firmly on the shelf than you!)

SootySweepandSue · 28/12/2011 20:29

I met DH online. Had about 15 dates with others beforehand so you do have to do the numbers. I tried 3 sites and found him on guardian.

My best mate and I got tons of attention when she had a puppy. We took it out to pubs, parks, etc and men were literally falling over themselves to talk to us. He was one fine pulling machine...

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 20:39

haha sootysweepandsue I own 3 dogs 2 of which are puppies!!! Read my above post about meeting a man when I was dog walking Grin.

Hatesponge you're right about the date I'll politely refuse Xx

OP posts:
Winkly · 28/12/2011 20:45

I knew DH for over a year and only fancied him after he asked me out and kissed me (brave man). Attraction can grow when you don't expect it - go on the date! If you don't fancy each other you could always see if he has any sexy single friends.

My BF is married to someone from the Guardian site btw but had to sift through a lot of shit first.

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 20:47

Also can I ask another question. did you put a picture up? I have a picture up but I'm getting a lot of messages from men that have only looked at my picture and not read anything about me. I'm not saying I'm gorgeous but I have what men call "dirty eyes". Should I remove my picture? will this hinder my potentials?

Also how many idiots did you get that started chatting about sex after the 3rd message. Really if I was only looking for sex I wouldn't need to look on a dating site so why do men send these sort of questions??? Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 20:49

Guardian as in the newspaper?

ps I didn't fancy DS's father either and after months of pursuing I gave him a chance. What a disater that turned out to be so I'm quite sceptical.

OP posts:
Winkly · 28/12/2011 21:00

Guardian soulmates online thingy.

Are you sceptical of giving a man a chance, or of dating a man you fancy, or of men generally?

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 21:20

No of dating a man I don't fancy Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 21:30

Might try Guardian dating. Is it free? I can't afford to pay for these things right now Sad

OP posts:
Gay40 · 28/12/2011 21:31

If you think he is boring, needy and desperate now, there's no hope. OK so he might get more interesting, but it's not likely.

Original poster
FlightRisk · 28/12/2011 21:46

He's probably not boring for the right person. I'm the "say what you think" (or more often "think what you say") kind of person and you can tell he's just a bit more polite than that.

OP posts:
LadyMedea · 28/12/2011 22:24

I'm amazed that nobody has mentioned Nexus - It's a social organisation for singles www.nexus-uk.co.uk/. My MIL met her partner there. It's basically a singles social club so no automatic pairing off but a new (non pissed) pool of men and women to get to know. It's not free, but I can't imagine it's that expensive either.

TheTruthNothingButTheTruth · 29/12/2011 00:51

LadyMedea, it isnt your website, is it ? Hmm