don't anybody feel sorry for me eh I've fallen out with my poisonous stately homes family, and my kids have fallen out with me. Which is gut-wrenching but there we are, have to get on with it. The two are linked btw, the former precipitated by the latter (have i got that right? the kids cut me off, I cut my family off). It is likely my kids will spend the day with aforementioned toxic family.
I've often fantasised about being on my own, doing my own thing, on Christmas day and part of me is really looking forward to it, relishes the idea. But part of me doesn't, of course, and I'm worried I'll fall down a hole. I've volunteered for a charity thing for the homeless over christmas - always wanted to do that and really looking forward to it (already volunteer regularly at a homeless cafe so I know what to expect) - but christmas day is full aparently, all the volunteers they need; I am first on the reserve list so I may well get called up. I do hope so - I'd far rather spend my day, any day, with them than my family.
I've had a few invites but I don't really relish being with other peoples' families on the day - bit awkward? Or is that me and the stigma of it all? Plus I'm a bit broken-hearted here and don't want to end up blubbing. do I blub at home or do I brave it and risk blubbing at other peoples houses, over other peoples families
I'm also wondering about eg decorations, food. I don't want to be sitting there eating a blasted turkey on my own - the whole point of all that, the huge turkey in the middle of the (lavishly decorated) table with all the trimmings is for other people - it's just a lovely meal to have with loved ones, yes? And no I don't want to buy a turkey breast and cobble it all together - too bleak. I always get a vast tree, rearrange the room, bedeck the thing, looks lovely even if I say so myself - nobody has a better tree [official]. There are so many memories to all the tree decorations - do I risk getting them out or do I do a different tree, or no tree. Just thinking aloud.
Plus - and I don't want to tear at heart strings here - I've got a stack of presents that look like they're not going anywhere. Do I wrap them and deliver them to my revolting family? I can't take most of them back because I bought them in unusual, far flung places. I'm at 6s and 7s here, it's all a bit awkward tbh. The MN jury will no doubt want to hear all the details but they're painful (particularly re the kids) and pretty final I'd say: my kids don't want to know, period, and have made that abundantly clear. Plus last year was dreadful, really bad, and I was anyway planning to set some boundaries this year - I didn't actually want them in my house as they have become very abusive. I don't know if we could have christmas lunch somewhere public (though everything is probably booked up by now?) - less chance of a meltdown in public. Though I may be at the volunteering thing and anyway my children have made their choices, i have to let them go. I should just look into it shouldn't I, see if anywhere is available. As a complete aside, it would be great not to cook it all myself and have a leisurely day for the first time in decades.
Anybody else on their own/been on their own in the past? any tips? I'm sure a lot of people who have to endure unendurable christmas days with horrid people will envy me, but it's a bit different when it's a reality tbh.