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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How dare he?!

48 replies

witherhills · 04/12/2011 11:30

Ffs
Posted last week about him spending 3k on a night out, he's just had a go at me for drinking "the good wine"
And how dare my mum drink half a bottle if £12.99 red, when she is looking after our son for 4 nights, who does she think she is?

DS been vomiting, I asked him to sit with him while I cleaned up, "can you order me a taxi please"
No, wait with our son, then you can go out, your friends can wait, he wants to go to the butchers, his friends are coming for lunch.
And apparently it's me that's being weird.

OP posts:
Barreal · 04/12/2011 11:43

Why does he need a taxi? And the rest, so not on.

Sparks1 · 04/12/2011 11:48

£3k on a night out?!

A £12.99 bottle of red?!

I trust he's getting fillet steak at the butchers!

Iamjustthemilkmachine · 04/12/2011 11:48

3k??!!!! why do we have children with (slighlty older but not much mature) children? You are not being weird, is there something deeper going on?

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 11:49

He has an overseas licence, has to change it

OP posts:
RightUpMyRue · 04/12/2011 11:52

3k? Holy shit. If you can afford it then it's a different matter but if he's quibblling over 12.99 it seems not.

I'm flabberghasted. He's being a total nob. I'd have it out with him, ask him what the hell his problem is? Probs best to wait until your guests have left though.

tb · 04/12/2011 11:57

You can still drive with an overseas licence - there are loads of Brits in France who do, and only change after they've been done for speeding, as they have to, to have the points added on.

Sparks1 · 04/12/2011 12:03

After a £3k night out and a £12.99 bottle of red he shouldn't be driving anywhere!

izzywhizzysmincepies · 04/12/2011 12:03

His friends are coming to lunch? Is he doing the cooking?

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 12:12

previous thread

OP posts:
HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 04/12/2011 12:14

what are you going to do?

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 12:26

Tb, he's not European, his time has expired, he's been here too long.

I went to my parents this week, to avoid him
Keep missing the solicitor, will call her first thing tomorrow.

Izzy, he is cooking, think I will mainly be drinking, surely I'm allowed to drink the good wine if we have guests
They are my friends too, not sure why I said his.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 04/12/2011 12:57

"surely I'm allowed to drink the good wine if we have guests"

Do you see the problem here? Who died and made him boss, in what is supposed to be a partnership?

Hell would freeze over before I would need to be allowed anything by a man.

scarletforya · 04/12/2011 12:58

'allowed to' ? Hmm You don't need his permission to do anything.

OP, he seems to treat you like 'staff' the sooner the better you go to a solicitor.

3k on a night out while you are selling the kids clothes on e-bay? He's a disgrace.

Bluebelle38 · 04/12/2011 13:11

He has NO respect for you at all.

I could not live with someone like that - I lived with one selfish ex years ago and never, ever again. I constantly felt shit.

Where is the love here?

How long are you prepared to feel this way?

His damn friends sound more important than his own child. What a cretin, I'm sorry.

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 13:37

Sorry, "surely I'm allowed" I was being sarcastic!
Too right I'm fucking allowed

OP posts:
Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 13:42

Oh and he just spent £90 on the meat, and has probably ordered £500 worth of wine/ champagne. And we just had a row about a wine rack, he wants a fancy purpose built thing under the stairs, When there are boxes of papers and allsorts of his crap that we need storage for

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 04/12/2011 13:50

Things can't be that frosty is you are both entertaining friends together at home, with wine. How did the lawyers appointment go?

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 18:43

Not frosty, just been going downhill for a while
He doesnt know about solicitor.
Free advice solicitor has called but I've never been able to talk, or we miss each other.
The friends have flown in, haven't seen them for 6 mths, couldn't really cancel.

OP posts:
Sparks1 · 04/12/2011 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

busybusybust · 04/12/2011 19:43

What on earth is that all about Sparks? A little unnecessary I feel.

Sparks1 · 04/12/2011 19:55

I quite agree Busy. It's all very unnecessary :)

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 21:23

What did I do? I didn't spend 3k on a night out, or £90 on meat.
No, I made £30 selling DS's old clothes and cleaning up his vomit today
Sparks, thanks a lot

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 04/12/2011 22:02

Op...are you any clearer in formulating a reason to still be with this dickhead ?

no ?

thought not

whilst you post thread after thread about the small stuff...the big stuff is passing by un noticed

your life is going by while you peddle kids clothes on Ebay and you post stealth- boasts-by-proxy about how much your H doesn't realise the value of money

it's getting you precisely nowhere, isn't it ?

what "plans" do you have for Xmas and NY that will keep you right where you are, btw ?

put them here now...and we can tell you how unreasonable he is being before the event

always a novelty

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 04/12/2011 22:04

and to answer your Op, he "dares" because you keep rolling over whilst he does what the fuck he likes

think about it

Original poster
witherhills · 04/12/2011 22:27

I'm sorry people think I am making stealth boasts, that's far from how I feel
I'll shut up now
I'm not sure what you mean about Xmas and new year.
We are going to my parents
It took every ounce of strength I had to go to the abused women unit,
I spoke to a very junior solicitor there who couldn't really answer my questions but she passed me over to her more senior colleague.
She called me twice this week, and i hsve called back butI haven't been able to talk, but I will be phoning tomorrow.

Once again I am sorry that I am not leaving him overnight
I'm sorry it doesn't happen at the speed you would like, but this is my life, and I have to sort it how I see fit

I though I could just sound off on here, I knew you'd all lose patience with me eventually, looks like that time has come

OP posts: