My husband spent 3 months salary on my ring. He didn't want to tell me but I needed the papers for insurance so he had to.
But the back story is this: I knew from the moment I met him that I wanted to marry him. I've loved him from the first few weeks, and him me. But we've had so many problems, so much heart ache, so many almost-break ups. We wanted the same things but there just seemed to be so much in the way. We're both insecure, stubborn, prone to navel-gazing, and unfortunately both the product of messy divorces that shaped us as individuals.
Three years ago we talked about getting married but ahh, it was always with an element of fear. He's pretty traditional and we've done well in our careers but I wouldn't say we're affluent. But he fretted, caring too much about what other people thought. In the last year I just thought, screw it - I love you, you're the one for me. I don't care about anything, I just want you. I must have said a hundred times I didn't care about the ring, the ridiculous expectations of celebrity-style weddings and what-not. I told him to not let his ideas of my expectations get in the way of our future. I told him to get me a zirconia, a freakin' plastic ring, whatever, I didn't care! Just marry me. It made me so sad the things he thought I deserved were not things I cared about. I only wanted him, to call him my husband, to be his wife and everything that meant to the two of us.
Then one day he surprised me with the ring - emerald cut because he knew I preferred it (but had no expectation of!), with papers proving its origin (this was super important for me), and platinum. I mean God! For me, he went all out.
I know this sounds like bragging, but really I don't mean to. I'm just trying to get across - weddings, marriage, engagement rings - they should never be about any amount of money. We got married for under £500, me wearing a dress from Matissimo Dutti. I never wanted anything but to marry him - of course, I had daydreams and wished money was no object. But those months leading up to his proposal, the only thing I wanted him to believe was that loving him, being with him and getting to marry him was more than anything I could have hoped for. When I asked him why he spent so much, that I hoped he didn't do it to because he felt he had to, he reassured me that he knew what I wanted, but in the end felt I should have something beautiful anyway so it's all worth it to him.
I think maybe your sister is placing a value on his love out of insecurity. If he spends this much, he REALLY loves me. But that can't be conjured up and coerced out of the other person. This poor guy, I feel for him. Deadlines and price tags - it's too much. What's the point - as everyone else has said, what is the actual reason for getting married? Keeping up with Jones'? I wish we could all talk to her and say if you really love this guy, if he's the one for you, none of that stuff matters. It really doesn't - I might have this ring beautiful ring that I love and am grateful for, but it's super cheap white gold band that warms the cockles of my heart.