Another one bites the dust...

[Bluebelle38]

Well, after 5 weeks of fun, great times and laughter the guy I have been seeing has basically told me that he doesn't see us working out long term.

Normally I'd be fine, but this guy was a lovely person and had pretty much restored my faith that there is good men out there.

We spent the weekend together and both said it was amazing, lots of chats, shopping, walks, sex....

The reasoning he doesn't see us working out long term is that he thinks I am a party person and he is not so much. He doesn't drink, I do. He wants children, I've never really considered them as I have never been in a relationship with the kind of man that I think would provide for a family and not b*gger off.

I don't think he ever got to see the quiter side of me... that I like staying in too, watching films, cooking.... When we were meeting up and going out on dates we were always going 'out'.

I'll be OK in a few days. In fact I am almost relieved that I know now as I could have totally fallen for him.

He has told me that I am a very special person and he is sad but I have told him it is best we don't meet up again. I know I could really fall for him and I really could do without another serious dose of heartbreak.

Not really sure what advice I was after, I just needed to get this all out.

Thanks for reading.

Life's too short to waste any time on knobs.

Start auditioning now for a Prince Charming to escort you through the panto season, and don't worry about the 'happily ever after' as there'll always be a man for all seasons - even if it happens to be a succession of them rather than one who suits every occasion

Ha, thanks izzy... That's a fabulous idea.

Hard cheese's post has really struck a chord. It did feel like I was being auditioned. That is just crap. If he can't appreciate me for who I am then I am not pining for him or being his friend to call up when he feels lonely or wants advice. It just wasn't good enough for me.

He has actually made me question myself and that isn't on.

He could be a very experienced seducer who does not want to commit to any woman at all; just likes the thrill of frequent different sexual partners. He'll probably tell another woman that there is no spark because she is teetotal and he likes a drink; another will be told that he is put off because she wants children and he doesn't!

As for the relatives ... they know what he's like and are probably used to him turning up with new women!

Think that you've been had, girl (just my opinion)! Hope that you did not have unprotected sex! If so ... you know the rest! Best wishes

See it as a lucky escape.

If you had stayed together, somewhere down the line he would've dumped you when something "better" came along.

Now you can get out there and look for Mr Right (Now).

Yes indeed: NEXT!

Hi carantala

I'm pretty sure he is not a serial seducer. I know that because he was posting on the site I was on for 6-7 months before I met him. I knew when he was not in a relationship. He had a gf last year and one that ended in feb I think and he had posted about that... so I knew a good bit about him before we even met!

He has been married before. She was older and they separated after she sunk into a serious depression and started drinking very heavily. He told me the reasonds for her depression, not to do with him, but it was very unfortunate and she couldn't or wouldn't take help. They both agreed to eventually separate.

He wants the wife and kids and that just isn't me. I think he knew it but also emjoyed the banter and friendship and the rest.

Am feeling OK today. Tossed and turned a bit but going into work today and will be very busy. Will meet a friend for coffee at lunch and have a chat.

I totally get after the spark comment that I should have bailed but I did think the more time we spent that would change. I think the more time we spent together the more it concreted in his head that I was v outgoing and he I isn't.

Life goes on... no-one should ever feel they are treading water waiting to be accepted or rejected and that is how I felt.

We did become friends before we met and he helped me through a particularly rough time, but he is just going to have to do without my 'great company'. Am sure he is already over it lol

Thanks everyone for such measured replies. Helped me so much to put things into perspective.

suburbophobe- yes, exactly. Treading water is what I was doing... if he couldn't see the absolute diamond that I am, then that is his problem.

The way he is going he is going to end up with some young, pretty wife that he really doesn't get on with all that much but will have his children and live in the sticks. I'm very lucky really this didn't drag on for months with me feeling more and more rejected and ultimately used.

He feels time is running out for him which is why I always got the feeling he was testing me out for wife material. He was trying to see that I would fit into his world and the more he saw me, the more it made him think this won't work.

He told me he has never met anyone with such great and so many friends, and I think he knew I wouldn't be happy to move to a small town and be happy and content with that. Maybe I would have but he has decided I wouldn't.

If he desperately wants a family, he was taking a big gamble on me - at 39 could I even have them? - and would I be able to settle down and be a mother?

I know as time goes on I will know this was 100% for the best.

Have some lovely memories though - was nice to be treated like a princess, just a pity I felt I was on 'trial'.

Ho hum.... life goes on :)