Young mum just found out she was abused sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally abused as a child by all her family.

[barclays]

Hello mums.

I'm going through hell at the moment. I took all the prescribed tablets the doctor gave me in one night. I feel i can't cope, no one understands. I've stopped eating ad relying on alcohol. I have no one in my life apart from my children and husand. The flashbacks and pictures have been a complete shock, I don't want to tell the doctor incase they take my kids away but I just want to die. I cannot believe my moter, father, brother and other family memebers done this to me. I just feel do disgusting. My life is a mess, I have so much sadness I can't even explain. I wish/hope someone can tell me things can't get any worse. :(

They won't take the children away - you've done nothing wrong, you've done nothing to hurt or neglect your dc, have you?

If you're suffering trauma and depression etc, they are not reasons to take your children away either. The SS strive to keep families together, not rip them away. But you do need to deal with what's happening, get a handle on the suicidal feelings and the drinking, which you can do. Talk openly to the doctor and don't fear the help they can offer. It sounds like your mum has probaby told you all these authority figures aren't to be trusted, for reasons of her own, not to your benefit - don't keep believing her.

Thank you so much everyone. My children have everything in life, everything I never had. I love them all so much but I just have so much love to give it's insane. To be honest, they are all quite bossy but I love their confidence, something I have never had. If they took my children from me it woud be a mistake, no other child I know could ever be loved as much as mine, they have everything :)

What everyone else says, and I wish you all the best. You sound like a lovely mum x

You poor darling. You have suffered in your life at the hands of abusers. Please be kind to yourself and get help, please get checked over at the hospital. Good luck, you sound so lovely.

May I just say from working closely with Social Care (SS in old money), they do not remove children easily.

They can not swoop in and remove children immediately. They can not remove children unless there is evidence that the child has come to, or will come to imminent harm.

They HAVE to try every which way to get the family help before that road is travelled first. It is the law.

I hope you can find peace with your past and live a fulfilled life with some help and support.

Don't be scared to ask for help because of the scary social workers - they really are there to work WITH you (if they even get involved at all)

You could try Addaction or another substance misuse charity if you feel it'd help; they also support family members.

I have been through similar. After I had DS I started getting vivid flashbacks of horrific abuse inflicted by my dad.

I have had a lot of counselling, and although the past few years have been very difficult and emotionally painful, I have come out the other side a stronger person and better parent.

The CRISIS team and my GP and a psychiatrist were all involved but there was never any question that my DC's might be taken away.

There are lots of books that you will find helpful in recovering and healing from childhood abuse eg Toxic Parents by Susan Forward.

It's a difficult journey to undertake, but you will find the strength from inside you. You have got this far, that proves already what a resilient person you are to have gone through so much as a child and still be here today with a family of your own.

I didn't want to read and run.
You are NOT any of the things you quote earlier in your threads, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. It won't seem it now, but you can and will come out the other side and hold your head high, because you will survive this and you will come to understand that you cannot change what people are and it isn't your fault.
I had a traumatic childhood, and it took a lot of years and tears to get over it, for me I found lots of doors closed when I sought the police out (who in my experience were amazing) and I got a conviction against my Uncle for Sexual abuse, unfortunately the issues around my dad remain and in a daft way if the sexual abuse had of carried on for another 6 months I could have nailed him as well, for failing to protect a minor (ie selling me to his brother in law).
You're children will not be taken off you, if anything people who acknowledge abuse such as this are so disgusted by what they have gone through, they are most unlikely to become abuses (please don't flame me MNetters, I'm not saying it quite right).
It was 5 years ago I went to the police, I now think about things very rarely and when I do, I can accept that nothing I can do can change what happened, but how I react now can influence the person I am. It's hard, but possible and there are lots of people here who will gladly hold your hand when you need it.

Speak to the Dr, get advice, be honest and ask for help.

No one will take your children away! My mum had this, when me and my sister were about 18 months old she suddenly remembered the abuse her father did when she was a child. She went to the gp too. I know it's awful but go to gp and get the help you need. Hugs for you, take care x

Hi Barclays, just wanted to say have been thinking about you today and hope things went well at the docs.

Did your parents tell you that if you told anyone what was happening to you they'd take you away? Is that where the fear came from?

Op I am so sorry.

If you stick around here you will get so much help and support. I hope your appointment went ok. x

You must be going through hell, you've received some great advice already and I truly hope the Dr helps you.

I work alongside Social Workers and I can assure you that they can only remove children if they have suffered or at risk of suffering significant harm. It doesn't sound to me that your family is anywhere near reaching that threshold, you're seeking help and your have a loving and supportive partner.

Please, please make sure your children do not have any contact with anyone who abused you or who allowed you to be abused. You need to protect them and if social services got wind of them being at risk in this way it may be a different story.

I don't say this to frighten you but I need to tell that part as it is.

I wish you all the strength in the world to get through this x

Been in a very similar dark place to you OP.

Can I offer some reassurance? I was actually given a Social Worker when I finally vocalised my abuse.She helped me tremendously with organising counselling and helping me manage my depression with a small child.She was a fabulous person to have in my life during my life chaos.I was also very young too.

Please don't be scared,go to your Gp and tell them what you can-maybe write it down if it's too painful to talk?.

How much are you drinking? There is lots of help out there,you just have to hold your hand out...

You take care x

Hello everyone.

Thank you all again for your wonderul support. My husband explained everything to the doctor and counsellors yesterday, it's actually been a relief people knowing how I really feel.

I'm really sad to hear other people have been through similar, but so proud of you all too xxx

Anniegetyourgun, yes, I remember someone was always coming to take me and my brothers away from our home :(

Sassee, I don't have any contact with my family now :)

Thingumy, My husbands supporting me now, no more alcohol :( :)

Thank you all once again for you kindness and support xxx

Bless you, Barclays. You know that threat was part of the abuse, don't you? To make you feel insecure. That is so, so bad. No wonder you're so fiercely protective of your own DCs.

They are not going to take your DCs away though. That was a stupid nonsense thing the evil big'uns told you, like the monster under the bed. The monster doesn't exist, and neither does the evil social worker with the big suitcase to carry your baby away in. It's the stuff of childish nightmares. Try to put aside that conditioning and reach out, because there is help out there.

Thank you Anniegetyourgun. I had no idea this was part of the abuse. I always thought what my mum and dad done was normal. It's not until you start talking to people and have your own children you start to realise things aren't normal.

x