The language of gifts

[Objectivist]

My question is about appropriate gifting. I have a new, ahem, gentleman caller. He has, so far, bought me a wastepaper bin (he set fire to my last one, so more of a replacement that) and now there is talk of buying me a set of tea towels for Christmas. He thinks I need them.
Now, I realise we?re not dealing with the last of the romantics here. But teatowels, for pity?s sake.
What would you do, Mumsnetters?

present=teatowels=door

My first ever - and hopfelly yours - "Leave the bastard."

Really, my spelling - I meant hopefully yours - "Leave the twunt."

Thank you. Succinct advice indeed. Rather touchingly he said they are very nice ones - National Trust. But I take your points - doesn't bode well.

What have been your least welcome gifts?

Firstly Objectivist, I hope your cough gets better....

Secondly, this guy is brilliant! He's a keeper. He has a deeply romantic soul, it's just that you can't see it yet. I wish I had a bloke who bought me tea towels. I wish I had a bloke..................

On second thoughts you should dump him and for research purposes only send me his phone number.

(Sigh...tea towels....)

I think laugh right heartily at the suggestion of tea-towels for Xmas and then stop suddenly and look stern - "I do hope you're joking" with a Paddington Bear stare.

If he's making comments about you needing tea-towels, does that translate as him casting aspersions on your house-keeping? Cos I wouldn't be accepting any criticism on that score from a new (or old) bf. Fuck that noise.

Are the teatowels to be placed strategically for some esoteric sex act?

Are your current tea towels grubby and holey with unwashoutable stains from cooking like mine? In which case tea towels could be seen as quite a thoughtful present. ( An ex- once bought me a courting present of a pair of thermal socks as all my socks had holes in them which was quite sweet, though he also bought me some very fuck-me underwear at the same time).

If you have pristine, white and beautifully ironed tea towels I would suggest taking all of the 'dump him' advice.

Also, how did he set fire to your wastepaper bin? (could also be a 'dump him' scenario)

Even if you have holey tea-towels, they are a crap present. Unless woven from gold and gossamer with the power to put away the washing up.

Thank you Iggypup, I'm sucking a Fisherman's Friend so that should help.

I'm not sure about esoteric act. The presence of a tea towel would certainly dampen my ardour..

I think you need to be very clear on this.

"Tea-towels, how useful, but I was thinking more along the lines of: new car, sparkling rabbit vibrator, engagement ring, red roses, fuck-me underwear etc etc."
If you think he really isn't going to get the hint, then offer to go shopping with him.

Hmmm....if he is a very new gentleman caller, then he may be feeling a bit awkward about how extravagent to be. He may not even be 100% sure you'll still be together by Christmas. If he was talking about he is splashing out on diamonds and a puppy, then I think that would be more of a warning sign than the teatowels.

Buying a new partner a gift that harks back to a shared moment is rather sweet, IMO. But then I'm all for practical gifts (usually get my flatmate cooking equipment that we can both use, etc) so maybe I'm not the best judge.

Granted my teatowels are pretty threadbare. But I had hoped for diaphonous underwear and, less realistically, sparkling jewels...

He set fire to the bin while trimming the wick of a candle - then proceeded to enact 'how not to deal with fire' health and safety video - running from room to room, opening windows thuis fanning the blaze and catching fire to curtians then putting it out with my dress.

I wasn't wearing the dress at the time.

Not impressed with new gentleman caller. Flapping hysteria in the face of an emergency is NOT a turn on

I refer the honourable lady to the advice she received earlier

I like your thinking, Bugsy. Nicely direct

He sounds like good comedy value, but tiresome in the end. As for the tea towels, National Trust? Bah. Should at least be Emma Bridgwater, and that's bad enough.

Wow, panicking due to a minor crisis would have been enough for me, without buggering up my curtains, dress and bin. Things like this don't bode well for the future - how on earth will he cope in the coming Zombie Apocalypse?

My husband's first gift to me was a coffee table that he'd bought in India. I made it clear pdq that my favourite gifts come in Tiffany boxes . He took the hint.

How about dumping him after Christmas, if he does actually give you just tea towels without carefully wrapping a diamond pendant in the middle?

At least if they're National Trust towels he has some eye for the environment (despite his unintentional contribution to global warming).

I got a battery charger once.

What are you going to buy him?