The language of gifts

[Objectivist]

My question is about appropriate gifting. I have a new, ahem, gentleman caller. He has, so far, bought me a wastepaper bin (he set fire to my last one, so more of a replacement that) and now there is talk of buying me a set of tea towels for Christmas. He thinks I need them.
Now, I realise we?re not dealing with the last of the romantics here. But teatowels, for pity?s sake.
What would you do, Mumsnetters?

Oh, don't dump him just for bad presents. My lovely DH was awful, just awful. I can't say the first one because it will utterly out me, but it was novelty, large, plastic (NOT sex-related in any way) and presented to me unwrapped.

He was told and he now buys lovely things.

My DH also said 'that's boring' and 'I hate those' to two things I bought him in the early days (he didn't even mean it, the bloody weirdo!). Seriously, he sounds awful doesn't he!! But he was just utterly idiotic and didn't really know how to deal with my total fabulousness (well, that's what he said, it worked).

He's had a lot of counselling since these dark days, mind.

I love teatowels, if he does buy them, and you dump him, and you want rid of all reminders, can I have them? The NT do some lovely ones but I can't afford such luxuries x

DH's first present to me was a 3 pack of lightbulbs. He said that every time he came over there was a lightbulb out.

DP and his ex didn't "do" Valentines Day.

On a random day he bought (his money not joint account) her a new iron as the old one kept playing up and bugging her and he wanted to do something nice.

Sometimes even nice men can't win

My then-BF used to go to lots of conferences abroad and bring me back nice things - silk scarves, japanese dolls etc. First conference gift after we were married was: a teapot. Naturally I made fun of him and he has behaved beautifully ever since. You just have to go "hahahahaha" and tell all mutual acquaintances about the how-domestic-is-this? present. If the teatowels haven't appeared yet I would get busy with the very clear laughter and threats.

Has anyone else been on the National Trust site looking at the tea towels and wondering which the OP's going to get?

hmm... well if your really don't want him.... I might be in the market for a man with a sensible approach to presents . My ex insisted on buying expensive fripperies, jewellery, smellies etc - used to drive me potty, I did get him trained in the end and he once got me a power drill bastard took it with him though, bet the OW doesn't know how to use it, he certainly doesn't. It'd be bloody useful now too

I can't help it - 'tis the way I was brought up, can't bear wasting money on useless stuff - and my tea towels probably could do with replacing, the national trust ones are usually very nice......

this man sounds like a real life Roy Cropper! Does he write poems, like hornby trains or bird watching? Is he loyal, considerate, hold doors, deep thinker?

He sounds ideal! No red flag warning, just down to earth domant male who thinks...what I buy my mum(she was overjoyed with the teatowels last year) my GF will like also

I'd settle for the teatowels than a pig who promises the earth then pulls the rug from beneath thy feet!

Its not very romantic, but at least he is looking around and THINKING about what to get you, not rushing into a random shop in desperation on christmas eve and snatching the first thing that comes to hand off the counter.
My DP would shy short of a 'practical' home related gift for Christmas or birthday (although may get them inbetween) but you can tell he has given thought to what I would like/am interested in. Ex's presents (if I got them) never had anything to indicate any sort of thought whatsoever, and mostly represented a begrudging obligation. The fact that he is actually engaging brain in the gift selection is Only A Good Thing, and that he hasnt gone for the obvious because he has no imagination or concept of your personality. However if thats what you want, just tell him you like to have something frivoulous for gifts, and save practicalities for non celebratory times.

I did once encounter a man with a major tea towel fetish. No, really, he used to write erotic stories about sex involving tea towels, and illustrate them with little drawings of ....

Look, is this bloke short, with specs and a pony tail?

Do not tolerate National Trust tea towels as a gift.

Insist on microfibre ones - they absolutely rock, if you can get hold of some decent ones.

One of the major bugbears on Mumsnet seems to be OHs who don't pull their weight around the home.

Here you have a man who actually noticed you needed new teatowels. It's a sign he's up for experimenting with all sorts of bedroom fetishes - hoovering and dusting, for example.

In fact, I'd say he really is husband material... After all, Xmas comes but once a year - the washing up is a daily chore.

A leopard print slanket makes quite a statement! I've really enjoyed your posts - the gift of three lightbulbs was a particular favourite.

Thank you all, I'm still a little confused - is gentleman caller just refreshingly grounded and practical or just a bit, well, you know..

There better be something wrapped in said teatowels or Christmas is going to be a little tense this year.

a man who actually noticed you needed new teatowels

Talk about setting the bar low! How about noticing what scent you wear, or that you need a holiday / spa day, or what kind of jewellery you prefer?

Tea towels?? FGS!

.. or which books you'd like, or which album, or tickets to which show, or even (if you insist on domesticity) a very posh ingredient for something you like to cook. Or whether you eat plain chocolate or milk, what liqueur you might particulary enjoy ... What size & colour of handbag, whether you 'need' a pair of gorgeous leather gloves or a new watch ...

It's the thought that counts. The thought being somewhat insignificant in this case, and far too housework-related.

Sorry, went into a pleasant Christmas fantasy there. I'll be getting a couple of bottles of wine and something made of 'fun' fleece, as usual. Way better than teatowels, all the same!