Help, I need to break up with Mr Nice Guy.

[WoodenElephant]

Been with DP for two years and have known for quite a while that things are going nowhere but can't seem to call it off. He's a nice guy but just not for me. The biggest issue he seems incapable of conversation. He is socially awkward which I can tolerate to a point but I need that adult conversation. I do try but I get either an inappropriate response (such as turning it into a daft joke) or no response at all. Apart from that we have no future together and I no longer find him attractive. He's insecure, needy and has no friends or hobbies. I often have to see movies at the cinema twice because he always needs me to go and see stuff with him whereas I often go with the kids or with a friend etc.

Everytime I plan to break it off though he comes in with a big box of chocolates (which he instantly tells me he got because they were reduced - hence what I mean by socially awkward) or he comes in with something else that just makes me feel guilty and gets me thinking I just can't do it.

I kind of decided to break it off after christmas, get all the festivities out of the way first but today he was talking about getting me a (reduced) ring for christmas.He is a nice guy, I like him as a friend but not as a partner. I don't want to hurt him but this is going to destroy him because as I've said, I'm his girfriend, best friend and group of friends all rolled into one How on earth do I do this in the kindest way?

I know it's horrible and shit but you're doing the right thing. Don't back out!

Good luck! I don't think he sounds twat, just not for you. You've just got to follow your gut instincts on this stuff.

If it was the other way round and someone was thinking of ending it with you, I bet you'd prefer they were honest and direct than letting it drag on for years that you could have been finding the the right person for yourself, even if you were upset to begin with.

You are doing the right thing...

Measuring curtains.... talking about buying you a ring.... introducing you to his daughter.... I think you definitely need to do it today because it sounds as if he's getting ready to propose.

Good luck. You definitely need to get rid of him.
I don't think the fact he buys reduced chocolates (and tells you so ) is a sign of a major character flaw or that he undervalues you.
Pretty irritating, though.

Good luck OP. You should think that you are doing him a favour in breaking up with him before Xmas. Sooner done the sooner he gets over it and at least this way, next Christmas he will not be facing his first Christmas without you which is always a tough one.

There are two who should be utterly ashamed of themselves for the distress and pain they have caused in what was already an extremely difficult, upsetting and stressful time because of recent events. You have no idea of the heartache you are causing, it's cruel in the extreme!
The contempt and ridicule displayed to someone who was genuine to the core is reprehensible.
I hope one day they take a long hard look at themselves and realise that playing with others lives and emotions is outright ABUSE!
It's said that 'what goes around, comes around'. That may well be the case, we can live in hope, but sometimes a helping hand is all that's required.

Good luck. I had to break up with a nice bloke too, really lovely but just not for me (he was also socially awkward and there was a fair amount of guilt there) but really, it's best for everyone if you end it sooner rather than later.

I hope it goes well today.

Amelia.... que?

wrong thread methinks

Good luck OP. Was just going to add don't offer to be friends - might feel like you're being kind but actually makes it harder on the dumpee imo.

don't do disguise af? not even a nice mahogany one?

hehe, ninah

that was a short lived bit of fun

and I certainly didn't use it to hide behind for nefarious purposes

I keep seeing this thread popping up, and wondering if you're dating Howard Marks, OP - but I guess if that were the case your relationship would have been much more, erm, 'eventful'...

This person sounds like a total reject. You've tried to break it off but he didn't take 'no' for an answer? I hope you just said, 'Our relationship is over. I am breaking up with you.'

yeah, though amusing, as a disguise that was pants!

haha PlumpDog, I thought the same!

In any case OP, I also wasted long years with nice-but-twat-man and you don't realise the relief you'll feel once it's over.

Also, you've been together two years and not yet met his daughter?!

send him this way op, I need some new curtains (and don't mind a few cheap chocs)
unless he wears shorts with long socks in the summer. That I can't abide

Curtains for Mr Nice, then, OP?