Help, I need to break up with Mr Nice Guy.

[WoodenElephant]

Been with DP for two years and have known for quite a while that things are going nowhere but can't seem to call it off. He's a nice guy but just not for me. The biggest issue he seems incapable of conversation. He is socially awkward which I can tolerate to a point but I need that adult conversation. I do try but I get either an inappropriate response (such as turning it into a daft joke) or no response at all. Apart from that we have no future together and I no longer find him attractive. He's insecure, needy and has no friends or hobbies. I often have to see movies at the cinema twice because he always needs me to go and see stuff with him whereas I often go with the kids or with a friend etc.

Everytime I plan to break it off though he comes in with a big box of chocolates (which he instantly tells me he got because they were reduced - hence what I mean by socially awkward) or he comes in with something else that just makes me feel guilty and gets me thinking I just can't do it.

I kind of decided to break it off after christmas, get all the festivities out of the way first but today he was talking about getting me a (reduced) ring for christmas.He is a nice guy, I like him as a friend but not as a partner. I don't want to hurt him but this is going to destroy him because as I've said, I'm his girfriend, best friend and group of friends all rolled into one How on earth do I do this in the kindest way?

I think you have to do it asap. cruel to wait till after xmas.

The OP seems to have a very high opinion herself. I even have doubts about how genuine this is. The comments seem very contradictory.

I'd also suggest E that getting one's friends onside to come and post on a thread is utterly childish and shows just how weak you are!

Have any of you actually ever had a real relationship or do you prefer to save them for your online imagination?

Goodnight!

The more I think about this man the less I like the sound of him. So why not wait till he makes the cut-price proposal - preferably somewhere nice and public - and turn him down flat?

But then I am evil.

Get it over with. Do it in person but write a letter as well just in case he doesn't listen/doesn't believe you. And rehearsing a bit first will help. Just stay off the wine till after it's done - dutch courage is not your friend here.

Good luck

paranoid, much ?

What does change99 suggest? Wwyd c99?

ah see, now i thought eleanor was af in disguise, but they can't be because look, they are both here, at the same time.!

X posts

fanny that is very naughty

but any woman who urges another woman to stay in a shite relationship doesn't deserve the time of day, tbh

pc I don't do disguises

Methinks change99 is lacking a relationship in her life. She's envious of even those in a shit relationship. Dont go c99, we've the perfect man for you.....

LOL what is Change 99's agenda here?

Got my friends to come here? What are you on about?

I don't need to do that, my arguments are brilliant compared to your's! In fact, you haven't got any - you've just got some mad fury that someone on the interweb is criticising cheap bouquets of flowers and I have a deep dark suspicion that you are a man who doesn't buy the women in his life any decent presents ever, which is why I've managed ot unsuspectingly hit a nerve.

OP, I urge you to find your anger! And just double check that your soon to be ex hasn't found your thread on mumsnet and signed up as Change99

Wonderfulfanny, lol, i just got your joke! Lol

It's not you, it's me.

No agenda, no axes, no anger, a happily married BBW, does shop in Poundland, but doesn't agree with attacking any party who cannot be here to defend themselves.

Very little advice given here from anyone, just pure vitriol and hatred from angry people themselves who seem to have their own axes to grind for their own failings in relationships.

change...would you only give advice then when both parties have posted here ?

There has been lots of advice given, Change99, mostly along the lines of dump this loser.

What is your objection to that?

Do you have a vested interest in people staying in unhappy relationships?

It's not me, it's you.

Eleanor, did you study at Liverpool?

Why do you ask Imperial?

Be assertive and keep saying whatever your preferred line is - I wish I could change the way I feel but I can't, etc. there is not much more to say than that you don't love him the way he loves you, and that will never change.

That's really tough after 2 years. There will never be a time when you feel like dumping him so it's best to do it asap.

If you waver, try imagining yourself walking up the aisle with your cut price engagement ring, looking at him over the vows - that's when it's really too late.

Good luck!

Is it because of the Eleanor Rathbone theatre there?

I actually chose the name because of her association with Family Allowance (now Child Benefit), I hadn't remembered that she has a Liverpool connection.

I was a student there years back and went to lectures in the Eleanor Rathbone theatre. I thought you might have done the same!

Ok I'm going to do it today. He's coming around to measure my windows so he can buy me new curtains for christmas I know he sounds like a twat with the way I've described him but I don't think he really means to come across like that. Yesterday he came in with a big box of dairy milk and the first thing he said was "they were reduced!! and then I got my staff discount off that too!" but he says it in an almost excited way like he's expecting me to like them even more. He doesn't say it in a "hah they were reduced because you're shit and not worth full price choccies" way.

It's going to be so difficult today. I know I have to though because he's trying to arrange for me to meet his daughter on wednesday and it needs to be done before that happens and before he buys me anything else for christmas.

Wish me luck