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Relationships

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How do i make it better?

60 replies

badperson · 03/01/2006 11:32

we've been together 11 years this year.
always had ups and downs, both stubbon and firey.
but i used to be so happy go lucky and laid back, now im suspicious, nasty and bad tempered.
we had a beuatiful dd whos three this year, she was planned but the lack of help and support from family wasnt.
it has caused a huge rift between us and i dont know how to get it back on the way to us wanting to be with eachother anymore.
yesterday, he said he cant talk to me cos i have a go at him straight away(yes but its normally when after no input, he contradicts my parenting), he spends almost all night everynight on an internet site, nothing dodgy and because i used to spend all my time on here, i dont really have an argument, he knows i am lonely and still he go's on, but i wonder if i am being unreasonable?, why shouldnt he be aloowed to chill out on the p.c..he tells me if i want to go out and visit friends, then im welcome too..but i dont.
in an argument weeks ago, he told me we are only together because of dd and we both know that, this makes me so sad cos i do love him, but i dont want to spend the rest of my life living here and there being such a cold atmosphere between us..its like we dont bother talking..he'll say 'ring me if you need anything getting from the shop today' (he works over road from supermarket)..and my reply is 'Milk'..not oh yes, we could do with some milk please...its me as mucha s him, i put no effort in with him, my family myself..i suppose im just blathering here, i wanted to email samaritans, but if they email back he may see it and i dont want that.
sorry for going on

OP posts:
SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 09/01/2006 12:39

friday, got invite to friends sisters hosue for late new year party..had mega busy day friday, ramg dp to see if he fancied it?..yes..rang friend back and before i could ring my mum, had to dash to nursery then training.
still forgot to ring friday night.
told dp i was taking dd swimming in morn, if he wanted to join us he was welcome(trying to be un-overpowering and whatever about it).
sat morn, we all went swimming, dp i could tell was winding up more and more as morning went on..as if angling for a blow up?..took dd for lunch after, met my mum and asked her to babysit on night..yes fine.
went home, dp still 'in one of those moods' but i wasnt biting.
he left to pick mum up and knowing it takes 20 mins there and back, left at 6.40 to get back for me taking dd to bed 7.20..wrong!
he waled in about 7.15, knowing dd would be still watching maggie and the ferocious beast..after a second of dithering..tod him to shut front door, tell mam to wait and id take dd to bed now..he was altready moaning loudly and being a tit..i took dd upstairs, she didnt know what the hell was going on, so started crying....30 an hour later she was still awake!..then dp came upstairs swearing about how party host had rang my mobile to reel off a shopping list for them and other people already there..fags etc(not happy, but i wasnt either as we were already going to be one of the latest the and had yet to get dd to sleep, plus we never stay out late as i had to take mum home later)
he went back down with a pet lip, then came back up ten minutes later asking if we were going or WHAT!..i told him the dd was still awake!!!!!..he stomped of down stairs saying weere always the last to get there, whats the point, blah blah blah..wheres my dummy!
when dd finally went off, i walked down to find my mum sat in front room and him in dining room,arms folded face like a bull dog chewing a wasp!..told hiom to stop behaving like a kid, we have a child who needs to get to sleep before we can do ANYTHING so get over it...moan moan moan Kevin and perry style, its so unfair and so on.
i asked him if he still wanted to go and he said he wasnt botherd, its up to me...i said i know what im doing..im going, so are you joining me or what? he fannied about, whatevering and that, then after ten minutes wasted again..he said no.
i apologised to my mum and told her id take her home now on my way and i left.
mum was worried, but i was fuming, why does he behave like such a child, so spiteful, dd is our importance not what time we get to a bloody party.
i wasnt going to go, but wasnt going to tell him, so took mam home, text party host and drove round for an hour to calm down.
got home..where is he...on the bloody computor!

shut door on him that night and last night, cant be botherd looking at him never mind sharing bed with him and yesterday, got dd up, went out for 10.30, came back with friend and her ds for an hour, then went back out with yher.
got in about 4pm..didnt speak, didnt look at him, but kept catching sideways glances from him...why the f**k cant he grow up, accept responsability, respect people and be an adult about things not lay on the floor kicking and screaming when the tinyest thing doesnt go his way
sorry, that all came out here as i dont have someone who i could talk to at home..sorry

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 09/01/2006 13:25

just had a call from local(lovely)family pub..they want me to go for interview 9pm thursday night
applied when in there for soft drink on sat, overheard someone talking about it and got aplication form...very nervous now

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 11/01/2006 11:53

sorry that post was long wasnt it

gravity · 11/01/2006 11:58

so.... the verdict?

improving, declining?

tell tell tell!

(i hope your answer provides me with the hope i need in my relationship )

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 11/01/2006 12:40

still awkward, especially after saturdays performance
he hasnt apologised or shown in anyway he was OTT, but i just cant be done with the not talking and all i want is my boyfriend back..he's like a bundle of hate at the moment, even accusing me of bumping dd's head when getting her out of car this morning (when i didnt) and calling me an asshole just for good measure.
text him about the interview, but he hasnt even mentioned it
so over all, pretty bad
also, im gunna have to bite bullet and start taking ad's again cos im so short tempered with dd(mainly like times like this morning..i feel angry to him, and snap at dd instead

gravity · 11/01/2006 13:04

oh honey, i'm so sorry.

at least we can have shitty relationships together!!

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 11/01/2006 13:26

how are you then???
and how is semireg and 7777777? are they around?
maybe its this time of year??

gravity · 11/01/2006 13:44

i'm fine!! had a horrid couple of days. but convinced myself to grit my teeth, smile and coz i chose to stay (for now) get on with it (til my next emotional overload!!)

my bestest and oldest friend arrived from france today, she is completely jet lagged, but hope to catch up with her tomorrow - we have know each other since we were 5 (cant believe its been 23 years!!) she's here for 6 weeks. her presence will be a load off. i don't have alot of close friends, many aquaintances but very few close friends - and apart from her and my sister and here of course i have no one to really confide in and be completely honest with.

so tomorrow night is the night. feeling confident?

SwimmingUpHillThroughCustard · 11/01/2006 14:08

not at all

gravity · 11/01/2006 14:17

come on girl! if your not you know the old saying.......... you've gotta fake it til ya make it!

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