Frustration with sex

[DadIsSad]

Somehow we had sex tonight (or is that last night now?) First time in over 3 years. I'd been being grumpy all day due to being injured so not going out doing what we'd planned on today (and not really doing anything else instead), so amazed it happened at all today of all days - maybe it was out of sympathy? The trouble is it didn't really happen properly - don't have a problem with getting an erection, but I did have a problem with completing. Eventually DW got frustrated and upset and I had to stop. I think I could live with the frustration, but really not happy at upsetting her.

Not feeling any less grumpy (not having sex has been a significant factor in my depression) and now I can't sleep, so doubtless I'll be even more grumpy tomorrow. I don't know whether I should feel happy that it seems having sex is no longer totally out of the question, though I'm not sure after that, which didn't really end well for either of us, how many years it will be before we try again. I'm not about to get any better at sex with the amount of practice I'm getting.

Can't see how anybody on here is likely to help at all, but I need to unburden - DW is happily asleep, not that I'm sure how to discuss this with her anyway.

PJ I don't feel inclined to discuss medical issues with you

take your "older women have looser fannies so there " pronouncements elsewhere

they strike an off note here

I'm not sure quite how to phrase this but... are you seeing penetration alone as being 'proper' sex?

You say in your OP that DW got 'frustrated and upset', at your 'problem with completing', this makes me suspect that you are seeing penetrative sex as the be all and end all with the inevitable feelings of 'failure' when it goes 'wrong'.

I don't know your history, as mentioned by another poster above, but you can make each other perfectly happy with hands & mouths. There's no need for either of you to be feeling frustrated and while you're trying to regain intimacy it might be beneficial and perhaps lead back to the sort of sex you believe you're missing out on.

Have to say you lost a lot of my sympathy with your second post.

precisely lovecat

I was kinda with OP, until the second post

not good, OP

perhaps we should focus on "your failure to complete" eh ?

stick that in the proverbial pipe and chow down on it

Anyfucker,

I think it's wonderful that your eyes can read the words I wrote, and turn them into "older women have looser fannies so there" which is not at all what I wrote.

Nearly as wonderful as your memory being able to turn what you wrote "a bit loose down there" into "confirmed medical post-childbearing problem?"

Obviously if you change in your head what you wrote, and you can change what I wrote, you can create a response of your own choosing.

Wouldn't it be really hard to chow down on something in a pipe? Obviously he could smoke it

Maybe he should put it on a dinner plate instead?

PJ I read what you typed in black and white

don't try to take it back by the back door by blaming me, unless you would like to apologise for your tone

in which case...knock yerself out

Anyfucker

I am certainly blaming you for typing "a bit loose down there" and them saying that you meant "confirmed medical post-childbearing problem"

I responded to what you said, which was "a bit loose down there " because that scenario is actually (physically) very rare

I replied to what you typed, not to what you now say you meant.

why would you "blame me" for anything PJ

because that's a bit weird, isn't it ?

you stated your opinion re. the anatomy of older women

that is clear

I said it wasn't appropriate on this thread

if you think it is, just say so

Jesus H. Christ PJ
Why do guys like you need to show up and derail my long-running argument that most men are decent people?

It's like trying to defend lemmings

Piglet john.. who cares whether you had sex with one young woman and sex with one older woman and your critique of it?
Its not big and its not clever

I think most men are decent

apart from those ones that show up on a sensitive thread like this to tell us they are an authority on the vaginal anatomy of younger women versus older women

there are more appropriate places for those sorts of opinions

and it ain't here

CV I think we can rest assured it ain't big

That sounds an apt description of PJ's dick, cardi

You stated your opinion re. the anatomy of older women first by saying
"a bit loose down there " because that scenario is actually (physically) very rare"

I responded by stating my opinion which was different to yours

So you consider that only opinions that are different to yours, are inappropriate?

Note that I did not offer an opinion on any "confirmed medical post-childbearing problem" which was only mentioned later.

your back tracking is convincing to no-one PJ

save your blushes now, that is my advice

I haven't backtracked.

But I do object to your accusations which you base on mis-statements.

just me PJ ?

What AnyFucker said.

Just you AF.

yeah

PJ isn't it just as likely your erections aren't so "full" now your older? Rather than blaming it on older women being looser?!

What's that little dot on the horizon?

Oh yeah, it's the OP

OP I am sorry you're down...but since ths was your first sexual encunter for 3 years, you and your wife are possibly expecting a bit too much.

Its a start.

Hello Moody

What makes you think I have blamed any woman for anything (apart from Anyfucker, obviously)?

I believe it was the OP who first brought up vaginal size.....