not sure where to start...

[pretenditsnormal]

Started the morning well... DP saying 'are you sure you are doing enough when you go to the gym? ' This is getting to be a regular topic of conversation - followed by 'is there any point in you going to weight watchers - you don't seem to be losing anything'..

Is it normal to have this day in day out? Have lost track of what is normal and what is not. I am not exactly enormous, but clothes don't look that great on. Did suggest getting married last year - but was told he didn't want a fat wife !

This escalated to a 'discussion' on money - basically DP gave up work nearly 3 years ago (to spend more time with DS & do house up) - living on proceeds from house sale and from an investment that was meant to be my pension. Am starting to feel a bit of a mug, especially as he is not that nice to me

Ring one of these numbers for recommendations :)

"Plus how does he expect me to react when he tells me that he leaves he will meet someone else and marry them within 6 months?!"

Pity her! The poor deluded fool. She'll be on MN within the year, asking why the lovely man she fell in love with has suddenly turned into an arse. She may believe it's to do with his psycho bitch ex (you!) breaking his heart. But we'll all be here to put the poor girl right.

Good reply, Annie.

you dont need image consultants
you dont need womensaid or any other such

you just need to get it clear in your mind about what it is you want/need/what is best for you and your child, and how you are going to go about achieving those goals

everything else is irrelevant

I've PM'd you pretenditsnormal

But womens aid will help OP to get clear in her head what she wants, needs etc. When you're with someone like this it's astonishingly hard to think straight - you need someone to give you the time to talk and work it all out. YOu know what you want but you can't see how to get there. Womens aid don't just give out practical info (re a sol in Totnes!) but sit with you while you pick your way forward.

Hi everyone - a quick update - haven't read messages yet as I wanted to just get this down... Have seen sol - very good, but a bit depressing. She agrees I am in a very difficult situation - it is much much worse because we are not married. It is not even certain that I would get custody of DS - because he gave up work 3 years ago and has spent a lot of time with him and could argue he has shared childcare...

Re house - it would almost certainly go 50/50 - even though I have paid lump sums off of around £60k.

She says I need to build a support network and it is textbook emotional abuse - re moving so far away from family/weight issues etc etc. However relationship issues have no impact on any financial arrangements, because not married.

She says to take all my money out of joint savings and put in my own name - but do not really want to rock the boat at the moment - he is talking of getting house finished and putting on market.. There is a possibility I could try and buy him out, but not sure re mortgage.

There is more financial stuff, too much to go into on here - but again I am likely to lose out, so I really don't want him to go to sols..

Nightmare... Just about to read messages (in library again!)

Not sure how to read pm's!

just worked out how to PM!

think I need to get my head around money stuff - as long as I have enough to get by on and can be happy without constant nagging! And have a holiday without being told I need to 'lose a bit of weight' every day

Always better to face finances, I feel - at least you can then plan based on reality, and it's one less thing to feel doubt and uncertainty about.