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Original poster

Is this a mid life crisis do you think?

38 replies

gigglepin · 11/11/2011 20:49

DH, out tonight for the 3rd night in a row. (Normally goes out about twice a year)
Started playing his guitar again (Its been 11 years since he picked up his guitar)
Growing a moustache (Movember or sumat)
Just being a bit cagey and strange....

Normaly a home body, adores the bones of our ds, and wouldnt normally go any where on a Friday because ds has footy in the morning and he takes him...

Very kind and attentive, funny and lovely in general, married for 11 years, together for 19, he is a lovely bloke.
mmmmmm? Just a bit Hmm about why the sudden out of character behaviour.
Mid life crisis...OR is he pissing about?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 11/11/2011 20:54

Goes out with who?

Bangtastic · 11/11/2011 20:54

Out where and who with? Out on the piss? Or round to a mates? Does seem a bit much compared to his usual 2 nights per year... the other things sound quite normal though.

How is his behavior otherwise? Still the same?

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 21:00

Gone to a mates tonight to practice/jam, not drinking. I dont know this mate.

Out tomorrow night with ds's football dads, drinking.

Spose its just that he rarely goes out, and now he is out quite a bit, same last week, out 2nights...

OP posts:
MadAboutHotChoc · 11/11/2011 21:04

How are things at home?

Is he protective of his phone/emails etc?

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 21:08

na, not that ive noticed.

He is a bit quiet tho.

OP posts:
kunahero · 11/11/2011 21:13

bit quiet? should imagine he's knackered! Working, kids and going out that regularly!!

Bloody selfish if you ask me.... which you didnt!

OP do you go out at all?

bruffin · 11/11/2011 21:16

How old is your Ds?

Charbon · 11/11/2011 21:19

Where was he on Weds and Thurs then? If he goes out tomorrow night, isn't that four nights in a row? Where was he last week on those two nights?

The line that leaps out to me is that you don't know this mate, if you've been together 19 years. Can you verify that there is a Dad's football do tomorrow night, with any of the football Mums?

CroissantNeuf · 11/11/2011 21:20

How come you don't know the mate?
How does your DH know them?

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 21:30

Dh knows this mate from his work. I have no interest in any one from his work, i dont go to any of the do's and have met about 3 of his coleagues thats all.
Ds is 8,
DH went to another mate from work on Wed who is a drummer (aparently)
night on Thursday.
I go out to tea with my friendabout once every couple of months and i babysit for my friend every Tuesday night, apart from that i dont go out. We are 2 home bodies.

OP posts:
Charbon · 11/11/2011 21:55

I think it all sounds really strange.

Strange that you've been together 19 years, yet you don't know any of these friends and strange that he's suddenly taking such an interest in them. Don't you get involved with DS's football either, so that you could find out about this 'do' tomorrow night?

By Sunday, you won't have spent an evening together for almost a week.

I'd be having a look at his phone if I were you.

Zippyzoppy · 11/11/2011 22:10

Could he be organising a surprise party or something for you?

TooEasilyTempted · 11/11/2011 22:34

Sounds to me like he and his work mates are starting a band!

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 22:40

yes, i thnkt hey are too. Its his 40th next year and he wants to do some kind of charidy thing for it.
I have nothing to do with his work..my choice, i am very unsocialble and a bit of a miserable bitch tbh.
I wouldnt take kindly to any kind of surprise..on account of my miserablness you see, he knows this so wouldnt bother.

I dont have anything to do with ds's footy either, this is because its their time, its what they do together iyswim. Therefore i dont know any of the people there either.
hmm, he still isnt home now, this is awful late for him.

He always absolutely LOVED playing his guitar so i know he will be loving it.
I had a really bad dream about him last night. Along the lines of him seeing some one. Feeling a bit paranoid.

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 11/11/2011 22:45

Don't want to make you feel worse but new, hither to unknown "friends" were a big feature when I started seeing someone else while in a relationship. Does he stay out later than usual when he goes out?

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 22:50

well he has gone to allot of effort as he has put his guitar and amp into the boot of his car. If he isnt doing anything music related, he has thought this through very thorouly. Plus hs little fingertips are all blistered.

Tonight he is late, still not home.
Hmm.

OP posts:
rightchoice · 11/11/2011 22:58

The tash thing is genuine as it is a MOvember for the guys, and this week men raise money by grown a tash and raising money. My nephew is doing it so that I can understand. The rest, umm doesn't stack up to me hope he is home now.

MarinaAzul · 11/11/2011 22:59

Text him!

rightchoice · 11/11/2011 22:59

The money raise for MOVEMBER is in aid of testicular cancer.

Original poster
gigglepin · 11/11/2011 23:01

just text him..nothing,no answer but he may be on his way home, driving.

yes he did mention testicluar cancer tash.

OP posts:
rightchoice · 11/11/2011 23:11

Look him in the eye when he comes in, and listen carefully to everything he says. LISTEN CAREFULLY, if he is messing around he will make a mistake at some point, you have to have a very good memory if your are going to lie.

izzywhizzyspecanpie · 12/11/2011 01:59

Any chance you could bring yourself around to being a tad more sociable if he's getting a band together to do a gig for 'charidee'?

If he has embarked on a venture for a charity event it may be that he won't feel like being quite such a homebody afterwards. Maybe this will be a time to take stock, plan the odd evening out together and start attending some of his works do's.

PoppaRob · 12/11/2011 04:50

The flame still burns! As a 54 year old off and on guitarist I'd say the lads are getting together to jam, compare musical histories, and have a crack at getting a band together. He's a good Dad and husband from what you've said, and he's grasped this outlet to have another shot at doing something he obviously enjoys... getting a band together. If you've never done it it's hard to explain, but the rush of playing in a band, whether it's at a mate's 40th or in front of a paying audience there are few things that compare. Just let him know that you think it's cool and you'd like to hear the boys and that DS would probably really like to see Dad playing/jamming.

PoppaRob · 12/11/2011 04:52

If he's developing callusses on his fingertips then he's playing... guitar!

AgathaCrusty · 12/11/2011 05:35

Talk to him. Tell him you're worried. He probably has no idea.