AF et al, I have finally seen the light

[SarahStratton]

MrRBW. He's actually not a very nice person, is he. And I'm using him as an excuse for not moving on and actually getting a life. If I'm sitting on the side lines, patiently waiting for him, I'm not allowing myself to even attempt to move on.

He's not even contacted his DC to wish either of them Happy Birthday. He's always banged on about how much he misses them, how hates his ex wife for poisoning them against him.

He's done that all himself.

And I have been an absolute idiot.

Sorry to hear that :( It's not a nice thing to realise.

What do you want to do now?

Cut all contact, I think. Everything. I can move on and start having a bloody life.

Sarah you just bought into the hype. Not to worry. Move on move up. sounds like a shit for brains, you ask me. how long you guys been involved? How long since you have decided this? Please bring me up to speed. Stay strong

18 years.

18 bloody years. What a fucking mug. I will stay strong, it's taken a long time for this to happen and I'm not planning on letting it go.

It was something TechoViking said, he said I was using it as an excuse to not give anyone else a chance. He was spot on, got me thinking, and the scales fell away.

We've all done it hon...20 yrs in my case...come and play on the owlef thread....x

Be glad it's not going to be for the rest of your life now. Never berate yourself for not knowing this stuff earlier, it's just more feeling bad you don't need. Just act on what you have discovered. New start.

Thanks, I will. :)

20 years Parsley, that makes me feel marginally better. Owlef thread you say? Where would that be living?

Owlef is that the owuls or the wolefs?

I can't find these Owlefs?

Some kindly soul has bumped it, but here's a link, just to show off that I can do links.

(hope it works or it will be very embarrassing)

Thank you

It is called the Owelufs after the Wolefs, kinda....The owl is because Arse Husband signed up for a dating site on the basis that dd and I would not go and owl watch with him...anyhoo, you have found us now. I called it the nest, but it oughta be summat else really. I am a lion, so it ought to be a Lair. Might ask MN to indulge me in a title change...

Oh, I wondered if it was related to the funny thread where the MNer's DD proclaimed very seriously "Mummy, if you don't behave I will not draw you any more owuls." Complete with owul pictures on profile!

No, more serious than that unfortunately. Something he was prepared to sacrifice a 20 yr relationship on.

Sorry, didn't mean to make light of your situation :(

Don't be daft, you're not, I've been an idiot. :)

Hallelujah! You can see again - it's a miracle!

Keep that that light shining bright, sister, and burn those rosy specs in case you're tempted to wear them again.

No idiots here. Good on you for deciding to make a change.

SarahStratton so you weren't ready before and now you are. That's a good thing. A very good thing in fact, you are going to have your own new life

Sarah my lovely, welcome to the rest of your life

Thank you everyone, especially you AF, you've been so helpful and patient. I bloody love this place :)

Sarah this place loves you and needs you

if you get support to help you make the right decision, all the better

win/win

Thank you

< holds snotrag under sarah's conk >

blow c'mon blow