very sad

[KittyAnne]

My (D)P had a hissy fit today and ordered me out of the car about 10 minutes walk from home. He is prone to tantrums you'd expect from a 2 year old. I'm pregnant and really vulnerable. I feel isolated- his family is close by, mine is not- and trapped. Before, I would have Buggered off and headed out with my friends, but that's not an option anymore. He's p1ssed off out, probably to the pub. He won't admit he done something wrong.

I miss my free and single days.

Well, you can be single again but you won't be free completely as you have a baby coming. If he doesn't make you happy and add something amazing to your life, then maybe it is over.

I am aware of all of that.

He's an arsehole. As you've already got your own, do you really need another in your life?

What's going happen when the dc's here? If he's still throwing his toys out of the pram, you'll have 2 babies on your hands.

Can you take yourself off to spend time with your family for a while? If so, make sure you shove a potato up his exhaust before you go - use a broomstick to push the spud to a point where it's not immediately visible.

Then go. Why would you put up with his tantrums. I would not have got out of car

Sounds like this behaviour happens alot?

I don't want to sound unhelpful but what are you doing to do when baby comes along? You need support not an adult tantruming around, ordering you out of cars ( why did you get out? Was he going to physically harm you?).

What caused the hissy fit? Are you managing to wind each other up?

My ex did something similar when I was heavily pregnant&things got progressively worse,ending in him slapping me round the face when I didn't make his tea one night.Needless to say I left when our dd was 2.I still suffer from his mental abuse now,10 yrs on

what a twat chicken. Maybe he should hang out with my arsehole.

He had a fit because that's what he does. He can't handle criticism at any level. I can't believe I've hitched my wagon to this wanker.

LOL Izzywhizzy- can I make it a pineapple?

You can always leave. I wouldn't stay with someone like that. I wouldn't want my child living with him, either.

aren't they all pricks to some degree? Or am I just especially bad at picking men...?

:(

No they are not!

And you do NOT have to settle for one that is.

Well I haven't met the perfect man but I have to say you seemed to have an especially childish pathetic variety. But obviously I am only reading a little snapshot of him.

To a certain degree it will depend on how you react to what he does. Not saying you are to blame of course, because he is entirely responsible for his behaviour. But you are responsible for yours. And the more you 'put up' with, the more he will think he can get away with. If you accept things that make you unhappy in a relationship, that may have something to do with why you think you pick the 'wrong' men.

Spuds are cheaper and you're more likely to find one that's a perfect fit without any wastage

Any reason why you didn't put him fully to the test before embarking on parenthood? Or did you choose to ignore those warning signs thinking that a 'baybee' would solve everything?

getting pregnant was not planned. My contraception failed in the most spectacular way. I ignored the tantrums because when he's good he's great. Now I'm fucked.

Has he done this sort of thing before? Or is it since you got pregnant ? some men are absolutely terrified at the thought of parenthood and instead of talking about it behave badly and seem to resent their partner however, many seem to calm done again once the baby is born and they are overcome with love. Stil - it was a horrid thing to do - poor you.

when he's good he's great. Now I'm fucked

You do not have to live like this. You do have options. Is he physically violent towards you? What is it about the tantrums that make you feel you have to give in to them.

What do you think he'd have done if you refused to get out of the car?

No, they are not all pricks. Get that in your head now.

You are not fucked. You have choices. Make one of the choices that you do not take shit off this person any more.

What's the ratio of great : arsehole?

How often does he go into one and what sets him off?

There's no violence, just shouting (not from me, I don't shout much). It can be set off by: running out of cigarettes; being drunk; being hungover; being confronted for unreasonable behaviour... It's usually once per week. He's always been like this. My father was an arsehole. You'd think I'd have bloody learned wouldn't you?

I don't always give in to him, but he makes it impossible to reason with him.

Sounds like he has a drinking/addiction problem?

Stop this NOW.

It won't get any better.

You need to get him to leave you alone. DON'T put him on the birth cert, or he'll get parental responsibility and you will potentially be FORCED to share childcare with him.

Are you ok. KittyAnne? What was the row about?.Please be safe tonight and listen to the wise M'snet women.

He sounds very unpleasant indeed. Yes some people get nervous about impending parenthood, but it doesn't make reasonable people behave like arseholes to their pregnant partners.

This is not normal behaviour.

If he's throwing tantrums now about this trivial stuff, what will he be like when the baby's here and no-one's getting enough sleep and he has to do more around the house?