Caught red handed

[PilgrimSoul]

I am in shock here. Myself and P living together for past 6 months, together 3 years. I came home early today, he was working on laptop. I asked to use it to send an email, he seemed cagey, but let me.

Long story short, messenger popped up, I messaged her, they had been texting all day, and she gave me his user name for an online (dating) site.

It all adds up. It is definitely him. I have asked him to leave for tonight. He left denying all culpability.

Why am I not crying, but rather, am calmly accepting the inevitability of the end of what was so promising? He was an amazing, attentive, kind partner, who I loved deeply. Kind and caring to my dd who was very fond of him. I have been kicked like this before, and my heart was broken. I feel much more steely this time.

It doesn't seem real at all.

Apologies if you are experienced at developing and I'm speaking out of turn but I understand from friends in Dublin that the market our there is brutal at the moment. Have you calculated what you stand to lose if you pull out now compared to projected profit? Frankly, as he has screwed this up, I'd be asking him to take the hit, but even 50/50 would it perhaps be worth taking the hit rather than taking a risk while you might be needing to take a lot of decisions while feeling emotionally fragile? Does your builder BIL think this is a viable project?

Glad you're on top Pilgrim new boots sound v wise. You really seem like you will be ok and at least you're prepared for the low times. What age is your daughter?
I ended a relationship just over a year ago for similar reasons and once the early hell had subsided i now realise how little he really added to my life anyway. So in a bizarre kind of way i think my discovery was a blessing in disguise. You are right noone is 100% bad but some people especially weak or dishonest ones can really hold us back in life.
You take it easy for a while

Oh yeah the take as long as you need to line, when you are practically cattle prodding him out of the door, slamming it on his foot in the door frame..

the delusion these idiots have, it's beyond belief. that you are able to take a decision to rightfully call time on his betrayal and bad treatment of you, but he dismisses this as he doesn't think you've thought it through

ditto his possessions. I'd bag em up and deliver them to his office if I were you.

What kind of airhead does he take you for?

An update, and a thank you to all who contributed.

What a long long week it has been. His posessions are bagged, and out of my sight. I'm getting stronger each day. I have no doubt now that I made the right decision in telling him to get out of my life. A couple of days ago when I still thought in time it might work, I found myself browsing dating sites to see if he was there. There were profiles which could have been his, and I thought - what am I doing? Why would I sign up for years of this? A lifetime of being single is better this.

I told dd (11) we were splitting up, she was totally fine. Maybee, it is interesting what you say about your XP adding little to your life, as that is somewhat how I feel now.

The days have been a doddle really, the evenings are long and lonely.

"The days have been a doddle really, the evenings are long and lonely."

That's what MN is for!!

Good for you Pilgrim! BLOODY GOOD FOR YOU! You are amazing love! Keep going, keep posting!

Thank you Hissy. It is him online, he is pond scum. I never want to see his ugly mug again. God I have been a fool.

No, you are not a fool.

A fool would stay with him. You are not staying with him, you are standing up for yourself, demanding better and showing your DD that having NO-ONE is better than being with someone that doesn't respect you.