Having a crap night......same old crap.... need to talk on MN

[SackAche]

DH.. arse as usual. Arguement tonight ended in him threatening to hit me with a pyrex jug. Then when my friend phoned in the midst of it and I told her he leftin the car saying it was all over (again....as usual) and that he hoped I was very happy in my new fucking house 'psycho'.

He left at 6pm. My friend came around at 9'30pm as H pulled up in a taxi STEAMIN. He came in, smoked a fag then went in and passed out.

Merry fucking Christmas eh?

He has his Counselling appointment on 9th Jan. I now it'll help, but what until then?????????????????????

Sykes - You have been through so much and I've followed it all... I know its only online, but I even remember your first posts. It means alot for you to be reading this now!

That's awfully kind, she says in a very crap way, but one of my best mates is Scottish and I used to fancy her brother so much.

Sykes - Don't hold it against all us Scots... we're quite nice.....honest.

The accent just drives me wild, it does.

Maybe I'll start posting in brrroad Scots!

Sykes, the accent doesn't drive SA wild, she's married to a Liverpudlian,

GOD NOOOOO Kalex, boyfriend before that was German... and the one before that was Northern Irish!

No, I know, but Ilove it you wee hen, you wee thing you

By the wee way am not trying to chat anyone up, you wee lovely thing you, in a scottish accent, but men are horribly attractive with a Scottish accent, if you close your eyes.

Way to go toothy !!!

I am really proud of you. I want you to know that I follow your posts and for reasons I dont wish to say you (although you dont know it) and your posts have been invaulable to me over the last few months, Thank you xxxx

Aw shucks Tamba... you've got me intrigued!

At work today, feeling a tad groggy! >groan<

I woke up in a surprisingly good mood.... and DH was singing in the shower! It really says something that we're both happier now we've decided to have a trial separation!!! and too.

Hiya sackache - I've read about half this thread and wanted to let you know that your dh sounds exactly like my dp was a while ago. We wouold get into huge rows. He has threatened me - but I was saomeyimes just as bad - esp with pg hormones/pnd etc and have slapped him and thrown stuff so we were both as bad as each other. It got to a point where one day we had a row in front of dd and she was really scared and that made us realise what we were doing. DP made himself an appointment with the gp and spoke about his temper etc. The gp got him 6 weeks of councelling at the surgery and it was fantastic. Ever since then he has been a different man. Even though we had tried to sort it out ourselves, the councellor obviously knew the right questions to ask and she managed to get it all out of him and release all the things that were building up and making him blow up in arguments. She also taught him to walk away from me when I was winding him up in an argument which was brill because I was left with no-one to fight with so the situation just diffused.

I really believed that we could get through it and although it was hard during the waiting it was so worth it....I really hope it will be for you as well. I think the fact that your dh recognises that he needs to talk to someone and is prepared to do it is half the battle and a big step to getting things sorted. x

Have read the rest now! ..... Good on you for being so strong re him moving out and not sleeping in your bed. Still def go ahead with the councelling though. I think that if he does go it will be a harsh reminder f exactly what he's leaving behind and that may well be the thing to kick him into gear. With my dp it was a case of if he didn't make the first doc's appointment he would have to leave and that's what shook him up. Good luck x

Thanks so much Zeph! ITs good to hear from someone who has come out the other side happier and still stayed together!

He is actually really keen to get to the Counselling.... he's already arranged his shifts so he can make the Jan9th appointment.

Hi toothy, have "spoken" with you in the past on MN and just wanted to say I hope things work out for you!

Sending you lots of cyber hugs

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ssd x x x

Thanks ssd.

Way to go girl! It does feel good sitting back into the driving seat. You are right to take control - I always maintain that no one else has your interests so high up their priority list as you! He is behaving like a very silly child - for whatever reason at the moment, so you have to try and get some kind of arrangement that works for you. Don't worry about your ds, there are a thousand good reasons that can be given for daddy sleeping on the sofa!
So proud of you - well done.

Thanks Bugsy!

Still sticking to it... DH slept on the couch again last night. I asked him if he was happy with the situation and he said "no, but I suppose I'll just have to live with that".

Kind of worried I'll get too used to not having him in my bed though!!!!

Not if you still love him you won't. He has some work to do, to show you that he can behave like a responsible grown-up, who is in control of himself physically & mentally. It sounds like you have managed to sort yourself out and work through the PND, so he needs to do the male version of this.
It was good to hear that zephyr's other half had been able to do this. Most importantly is that he wants to do this, for himself & you too.
Only 9 more days before he can start counselling, not long really in the great scheme of things.
Keep strong.