Give it to me straight- how old is too old?

[Mumfortoddler]

Hello!

Just met a new man just under 2 months ago- I am 31 with a two year old DS. The new man is seemingly wonderful, attentive, caring, romantic but is also 18 years my senior. He has been wonderful around my son (they met a couple of times so far but not too much as obviously that is not such a good idea early on!) and seems a generally ace guy- but we get funny looks when we're out and about and my family/friends tease me senseless about him being older. I don't really mind my friends and family being given something to laugh about, but I wonder really- is that age difference just too big? There is part of me that thinks age is just a number and the other half is saying oh dear that really is too old. Just to say he is lovely, and amazing, and clearly has potential for me to fall head over heels in love- but really- with someone 18 years older? Thoughts please...

[AnyPhantomFucker]

clearly my wine goggles are seeing something others cannot

[AnyPhantomFucker]

I might be pissed but I can do the brackets and strikeout thingumybob

[AnyPhantomFucker]

my grammar improves when I have imbibed

[margerykemp]

My first thought is do you want more dcs? Imo he's not the ideal age to be a new dad.

[CoteDAzur]

That age difference isn't a problem now, but he will be almost 60 in 10 years and you will be just over 40. That is, he will be an old man for all intents and purposes, and you will still be young, quite probably wishing to lead an active life.

[Harecare]

I think my sister and her DH have this age gap. They originally met when she was about 18 so he really was an old man then! They met again and married when she was about 30. The age gap doesn't seem so big now.

[brdgrl]

My DH is 13 years older than me. He's not the least bit controlling (someone up-thread seemed to hint at a corellation there) - in fact, he is way more laid back and if anything, I get cross with him for that!

As far as being from different generations and therefore having nothing in common - I don't know, I think you'd have to have pretty shallow interests for this to be the case! DH and I love films and literature and music, and have pe plenty in common there. We love getting pissed, so we have that in common. We love going to gigs, and sometimes he introduces me to bands and sometimes I introduce him to bands, and that's great. Our friends are mosly younger than DH, mostly my age, and most people think DH is far younger than he is. We have similar political and social views. I can't think of many times than our differing generations have really been an issue...

I do worry about being alone when I am older, but honestly I know that could happen no matter who I chose, and I try to focus instead on the fact that we still have plenty of years together ahead of us. We have a baby DD and he's a very, very involved and active dad.

He needs more sleep than I do, and he's not as bothered as I am about the fact that we have a wee baby and so can't go out as often as we used to.

I have more fun with DH than with the younger guys I dated before him.

If he's right for you, he's right.

[brdgrl]

Should have said. I am 40 and DH is 53.

[garlicBreathZombie]

he will be almost 60 ... he will be an old man

Oh god, I'm going to be an old woman in 3 years

Better keep downing this Spar Extra Strong Cider - who knows how long I've got left?! (probably shortening my time with every swig, but who cares)

Actually the 'controlling' cautions came from OP's other comments, not so much his age.

Meanwhile, I'd better put a down-payment on a mobility scooter and a stair lift. I've always thought both of those look like fun, anyway ...

[Putrifyno]

My dh will be 55 next year - he is very far from being an old man. I can't see 5 years changing him THAT much. However, he IS an old dad and a bit set in his ways. I'm 43 and happy that our social activities involves nice food and seeing friends, rather that wild clubbing, but I get a bit cross with him sometimes and remind him that with a 7 yo, tis not acceptable to sit home every weekend. An 18 yo gap would worry me a bit from THAT perspective, but it very much depends on the man.

[ninah]

great halloween name porto

[Putrifyno]

Thank you!

[springydaffs]

sssh! Downton's on! old person's programme

Being as I am way over the hill here - I mean, like, old (or will be, apparently, in a leetle while). right ok, I'll look in the mirror and say 'now you are old'. Just so I'm clear.

[Mumfortoddler]

He is more active then me!! Runs 4 times a week and constantly out and about...But I get the picture. Its difficult to know right now but I think I'm just going to spend a bit more time getting to know him and see what happens. I guess if it turns into love I might be prepared to work through the age barrier but if we clash on other things or don't find enough in common then we're probably not going to mesh. So far so good, we can't stop talking when we get together and he is so hilariously funny, good natured and kind. Anyone who can survive through a mighty DS tantrum with kicks and screams flailing everywhere (my son's of course) and bring my DS out in fits of laughter at the end of it must have the patience of a saint. Before you say it my DS is like that with everyone at the moment, its just terrible twos stuff and has been getting better and better of late- (so clearly unrelated to the new BF)....