I have this feeling of dull rage....

[colditz]

It's not subsiding. usually when I am a ngry I have stopped being angry after a few days, but it has been two weeks now since dp and I fell out, and all I can think about is waiting until after Christmas so ds can have Christmas at home, then leaving him.

dp came home drunk last night,and when I asked him for my keys back to lock the front door with he started pushing me around, screaming in my face "f£ck off, F£ck off!" and throwing things. So I picked my son up, walked round to a neighbours and they rang my mum for me for her to come get me.

When I got in this am (had no nappies or clothes for ds) dp was still asleep in bed. He wasn't remotely bothered that we had been gone all night and he didn't know where.

he really does not care about anything but himself, I have realised that now. I don't see why the hell he should go and have a laugh in town, spending money on beer, when I have really struggled to make sure his mum gets a present.

every time I look at him I feel physically sick with anger. I do not know how I am going to get through Christmas.

oh colditz, im so sorry to hear that. I know you said you want your ds to have xmas at home, but wouldnt it be a happier one if you were both elsewhere, where ytou could relax? I dont know much about your situation, other than what you have written here, but I cant stand it when men push women around and feel that no women should wait around for it to happen again. There is your sons safety too. Can you stay with your mum or friends for a bit?

colditz, I am so sorry. What are your plans for tomorrow? Could you go to your mum's for the day rather than being stuck on your own with him?

I'm sorry to hear this colditz, it sounds like he has crossed a line in your mind wrt his behaviour, and you need to work out what you are going to do next. Good luck, I hope xmas isnt too stressful for you.

Dp is at work tomorrow, so won't be back until teatime anyway. i sit in this house and every time I have to speak to him I feel like I am living a farce.

I am going to mum's tomorrow morning, but have bought Christmas dinner so coming back at about 2 to start cooking.

Colditz, poor you. His behaviour is totally unacceptable, you know that. How old is ds, do you really have to stay for Christmas, could you go to your mum's early? Like today?

Is your mum supportive, colditz? Does she know what is going on? Agree with the others, in the circumstances you may be better off being in company at the moment.

Got nowhere to sleep at mum's. me and ds (2.8) spent night on the sofa, ds screamed and paddied all night, and couldn't settle, eventually settled at 6:30 am for 4 hours.

I cannot physically hack another night like that. It sounds so pathetic, but I am six months pregnant and would rather risk the slight chance of being whalloped than the definate fact of ds crawling all over me for 6 hours, screaming, hitting and sobbing with tiredness and frustration because he wants to go home. Then getting 2/3 hours sleep before mum gets up. i an't spend another night like that.

He won't go beetroot, he will not physically leave, I have checked this with the CAB and I have no way of making him leave, any more than he can make me leave.

Why did you not contact the police? He's been violent and threatening. Pushing around a six-months pregnant woman is domestic violence in my book. If you register a complaint, it might help you to have him removed from the home.

Have you spoken to the housing authority/local authority about getting him out or being rehoused without him?

Colditz. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I don't think there is ever a right or good time to leave a partner it just always seems like another added pressure around this time. You sound like you've had an awful time and deserve much better.

Hope your Christmas with ds goes well
x

Please for your own safety and that of your son-I am mean do you really want him to witness anything just go.
Can you not get put up beds or blow up beds anything I am sure people will be forthcoming should you need.It sounds like a desperate situation you are in you should leave BEFORE something gives.

Message withdrawn

Sweetheart, where are you in the UK?

Colditz, Womens Aid might be able to help, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

this sounds horrible, as though things are escalating. do what you think best to get through xmas but keep your safety a priority. then, see a good lawyer - CAB advice is patchy at best. If you are at risk of DV there will be steps you can take to exclude him.

Just bumping.
Are you ok Colditz?

Love to you darling, hope things get better. xxxxxxxxx

Oh Colditz; I don't, I really don't, say this lightly but I think you should leave the relationship - not leave the house - even if you don't leave permanently.

Can you get an injunction served, if he's being violent?

I'm thinking of you. You're a fabulous woman, you know. And he's being an arse.

Message withdrawn

colditz, sorry you are going through such a tough time. it might be worth your while speaking to Women's Aid, as other posters have suggested, as they can offer practical support as well as emotional support. best of luck whatever you decide about leaving.

Colditz-I work for Social services-really hope you seek and get help from Womens Aid.
They WILL help you i am sure

Wishing you a more peaceful New Year

colditz, I hope the silence means that you are not home. Thanking of you, your ds and your bump. praying for you.