Does working full time mean he doesn't have to do a THING around the house?

[strikingoff]

I need some perspective please.

My dh works full time, 10 hour days. He's a freelance contractor therefore when he doesn't work he doesn't earn. He's always worried that he'll 'never work again' but in the 15 years we've been together, he's only been out of work for a couple of months, and that was by choice. He provides well for me and ds, he's a great dad and generally a caring and kind guy.

But I have one big stumbling block with him. I also work - part-time from home (20 hrs per week). I find myself doing all of the 'home' chores - food shopping, care of ds, laundry, cleaning. I also look after all of the 'other' stuff and this is what is driving me nuts. So if the loo needs fixing, it's up to me to get it done. If the house needs repainting, I have to organise it. If the car needs to be serviced, I have to take it in.

We moved recently and remortgaged. I did all the paperwork, all the moving organisation, I do anything to do with insurance, buy the birthday and christmas presents.

When I have tried to talk to him about it, his only response is 'I work 10 hours a day and I can't do any of that'. He's good at taking ds out on the weekends to give me some time off as I'm also studying. But invariably I end up catching up on paperwork, laundry or groceries.

I just feel like a spoiled brat.

He doesn't spend his days in the pub..definitely not as he doesn't drink. I know he's working hard for mine and dc's benefit which is great. I think he has had it good for too long i.e. me trying to 'do it all' and now that I'm working and things are slipping through the cracks, it bothers me more than it bothers him i.e. dirty house, laundry not done etc.

He's more than willing to pay for a cleaner, but that's one more thing that I'll have to organise! I know I need to give up some control over some of the things and maybe delegate a bit more.

When it comes down to it, I think it is miscommunication but I also think his priorities lie elsewhere when it comes to household chores. And sometimes I accept that as normal when it's not.

Why can't he be responsible for finding a cleaner?

'Delegating' implies it's your responsibility in the first place incidentally, when it's not is it?

Glad you've accepted that this shouldn't be the norm.