basically it's a long story. Had DD with partner in jan he was never mad on having kids but after I got pregnant he slowly came round and seemed to become excited. When she was born it was a shock as all babies Are but she screamed and cried all the time wouldnt sleep. It was terrible we tried everything I even took her to a &e once as was so worried. Instead of being supportive and helpful he was angry and swearing all the time. He couldn't do much as I was breastfeeding so I did all the nights he slept in spare room and slept. At 8 weeks which was about the worst with the crying one night he said wish you would both f##k off. So I did crying all the way went to stay with my parents in Bournemouth. Think I was close to having PND but spent two weeks there and they were amazing. since then go down once a month for a weeks visit which I love easy daddy gets a break!!
This has basically been the pattern for the last ten months. Don't get me wrong he is great with her when she is good an loves to play with her but never wanted the crap such as feeding night duties early morning. I used to hear him moaning and swearing up stairs in bed when she was crying or making noise downstairs. In the early days I would never have left her with him as I didnt trust him. This is not the case now but he still rarely has her alone. There are so many incidents where I have had no support or he has lost his cool but I can't possibly go on about them all.
His nature is miserable and moody always has been but he has a loverly charming streak. So many people say you DP is so laid back!!
He spends most of his time moaning about what a nightmare she is and how loud etc. As you can imagine due to the last ten months my feelings have changed about him I no longer respect or love him. It's been a tough few months and everybody agrees she has been a tough tough baby but she is loverly and my world and she is getting so much better now she is starting to move
He went to amsterdam this weekend on a boys weekend when he got back last night old him I had enough wanted to split. He was shocked and gutted. If I moved out which I would as he put down all money on the house and pays mot gage I would have to move to Bournemouth 180 miles away taking his daughter. If my parents lived around corner would have gone ages ago. What shall I do!? Now I feel guilty. If I leave I have to give up my nice house and all my friends and life here. I'm lucky I have that in Bournemouth to but even so. Then there are his parents who would be gutted as she is there only long awaited grandchild.
He told me in an argument a while back I would never blackmail him into having more kids!! I would like another but I don't see how I could with him as I basically feel like a single parent and I certainly couldn't manage two. So we don't have a future do we.... Feel sick!