Ex shitting on my doorstep.

[TinyWeeTeethGreatBigBite]

Ok not literally!

I posted before about my Ex wanting me to "lend" him money to pay for a rental propert y so that he could move near our DC. He currently lives with his mother over 200 miles away.

He has found a house that he wants to rent. It is 2 doors away from my house. I'm absolutely dreading this, I don't know how I can cope with him being on my doorstep.

As he is an emotional and financial leech with real boundary issues, I know I'm going to have to deal with him now on a daily basis. I am seeing my solicitor next week with a view to putting official/structured access in place for the DC.

I really feel so low and just like giving up, I also feel so guilty as my dc really love and miss their dad but I LOATHE him and can't bear the thought of him being here.

Any ideas on how I can stay strong, how I can put boundaries in place and enforce them would be most welcome.

*pin-pond?? Wtf? I meant pom-poms of course!

Update and name-changed

Ex moved into the house 2 doors up, its been 5 weeks and during that time he has stayed there probably about 10 days in total.

I haven't heard anything from him for 2 weeks which is GREAT!!! However I think a storm is coming, which is why I'm posting as I feel nervy and jumpy.

Ex had got in touch with the girl he had ripped off and upset and threatened her, she contacted the police and he is being served with a harassment order. He has also been reported for benefit fraud (or so I've been told) he will think this was me.

Today his landlord came to see me, he gave ex £80 to buy something for the house, ex told landlord I had bought the blinds with the £80 and they were in my mums car boot. None of this was true of course.

Landlord told me ex was here last week (signing on day) when I was on holiday with my dc. Ex mum was with him. Landlord said ex asked him for £40 for petrol to come here as I was on holiday with the bank book and he had no access to cash. Landlord made an internet transfer of the money, ex then said it hadn't gone through, so Landlord paid ANOTHER £40 into the branch! Ex then came up with his mum and back down in same day.

Advised landlord to get legal advice re tenancy and not to give ex another penny.

I feel terrible and just so fed up.

So sorry that you're fed up - but take heart, the landlord needs to accept that him giving your ex money has nothing to do with you. Actually, he has no right to come burdoning you with this as if it is somehow your problem to sort out!

Secrecy thanks :)

I don't think the landlord was trying to burden me as such, he seemed a bit gob-smacked that he'd been had over by ex, and he hasn't the first clue about tenancies and housing law. Very naive.

I'm just a bit embarrassed to be linked to ex when stuff like this happens. I know that's not rational, its neither my fault or responsibility. But still ...

You did warn the landlord, something you should point out to him. The landlord should give notice for the thefts. Surely if your tenant is stealing from you, that can be done?

I really don't know, the landlord "willingly" paid the money into his account, albeit due to being told a pack of lies, I doubt he got a receipt for the money he gave him to buy blinds. He can't make moves to evict on grounds of rent arrears until ex is 3 months in advance.

I'm thinking of going somewhere else to stay with the dc on Thursday as I expect him to turn up.

*sorry 3 months in arrears

What an absolute drop beat. Stay strong, try to keep him in the back of your mind and just crack on with your life. What a horrid twunt to have on your back.

His Landlord is his own worst enemy. He was warned.

It's fraud, if not theft. Either way, if I were a landlord I'd be looking into my options.

On the positive side, at least the landlord doesn't want him as a tenant now and hopefully will do what is needed to evict him and I won't have to leave my lovely home :)