Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

a strange thing going on.

35 replies

CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 21:19

was going to namechange, but cant even be arsed.

DH went out with work last week, he was working in the city on the Friday so stayed over in a hotel. no problem with that, happens rarely.

He called earlier to ask if I would pop down to the garage as his car was getting something done, pay the bill and have it moved so he could collect it later this evening.

When he finished work (8ish) he called to say that as he had an early breakfast meeting in the morning he was thinking of staying in a hotel again but wanted to check it was ok with me, (I said it was ok)told me name of hotel, said love you (as normal) and off he went. Now - usually we have a decent conversation, chit chat about day but it seemed like he couldnt wait to get me off the phone - or maybe I am seriously paranoid.

I got a funny feeling in my tummy, got the kids to bed, looked up hotel, called it - nobody by DH name registered there, nobody under business name either. Have tried calling DH phone and it goes straight to voice mail, have text him and have sent him an email saying give me a call please.

As a rule, I am not suspicious, I trust my husband - so why do I have this horrid feeling? Why do I feel this way? It just all seems weird.

And if it all turns out to be a mountain out of a molehill and Anyfucker comes on and tells me to stop reading the relationship board again I will feel much better. Smile

No way would I normally call a hotel to see if he was there, even when he is the other side of the world from us, it just isnt me! But tonight I did.

sorry, super long and jumbled post. If I didnt have the children in bed I would be off to London on the next train, that is how paranoid I feel! Sad

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/09/2011 21:22

How horrible to be feeling like this.

Have you tried asking whether he stayed there on Friday? You could do that in the morning - say you're his secretary and you want to check the bill or something.

I think we do pick up little clues, particularly on the phone. Was he setting off for the 'hotel' at that point? How much later did you call the hotel?

ImperialBlether · 19/09/2011 21:23

It's only 9.20 or so now - how far away would the hotel be? Could he have gone for a meal first? Was he working with others tonight?

kangers · 19/09/2011 21:31

Good call imperial. I would not jump to any conclusions, but try the secretary trick. Hotel staff can be buggers sometimes you know. Breathe deep, have a glass of wine and chill.

goingbacktowork · 19/09/2011 21:37

but why is his name not registered there or the business name? When you do speak to him (if tonight) find out his room number and then call back and double check with reception the name on the room?

wileycoyote · 19/09/2011 21:40

How horrible for you. Probably nothing untoward and he's just busy with work, but the sick feeling in the stomach from anxiety is horrible so I hope he gets in touch soon so that you can get some re-assurance.

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 21:43

I know where he stayed last week, he stayed at a friends who had a room booked already - it was quite an impromptu night out, he was coming home and decided to stay at the last minute.

He called me at 7.30 saying he had just booked a room, so should be there by now. That is 2 hours - he could have been home by now.

He would order room service. He had a 1/1 meeting that finished 7ish.

OP posts:
electra · 19/09/2011 21:45

You feel uneasy because he's behaving a little out of character for what you're used to. Has he always been trustworthy in the past?

ImperialBlether · 19/09/2011 21:46

I wouldn't send panicky emails or texts, though I would try to call him again. If he is up to something, it's better he doesn't know you know anything about it.

Has he seemed different lately? Are you convinced he was with the friend last Friday?

carlywurly · 19/09/2011 21:52

I hope you're wrong, but ime instincts are there for a reason. Could there be a similarly named hotel maybe, or more than one with the same name in different areas?

Hopefully he will call you and be able to reassure you. If not, be on high alert for odd behaviour. Two hotels in two working days is almost too obvious though if you're genuinely up to no good - Hmm

caughtinanet · 19/09/2011 21:55

Is the hotel one of a chain, could there be more than one in the same city (I'm thinking of a Premier Inn or similar) and you've rung the wrong one ?

I hope he gets in contact with you soon.

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 21:55

he's called now

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/09/2011 21:56

How did the conversation go, Coffee?

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 22:04

ok, he told me name of hotel - the one I called is NOT the one he said, it sounds very similar and I must have misheard. Blush The one he is staying at is just near his office.

He went out for dinner with a couple of colleagues who were also late at the office, one is also staying overnight as he is also at the early breakfast meeting. DH asked what was wrong, so I told him why I felt weird, and he said he would come home. He also said if I wanted to speak to ... who was with him he would go get him and let him speak to me. Obviously I said no to that, no need for his entire office to know that I am feeling like a stupid paranoid wife!

The reason his phone was going to voicemail was he had no signal, went to the loo and he saw lots of missed calls, texts and emails (not just from me I hasten to add!)

Dont know what to think now. I feel like such a paranoid eejit, he has never given me any cause to think he would do anything bad to me. Jesus, maybe I am pre menstrual or something.

DH said he would call me back in a bit once he gets back to hotel - he reassured me that he was doing absolutely nothing wrong, and reiterated that he would get the next train home if I wanted him to - said that he would rather come home and reassure me than have me sitting here thinking he was up to something.

OP posts:
DaydreamDolly · 19/09/2011 22:06

Smile really pleased your suspicions were unfounded OP

ArtyFartyPants · 19/09/2011 22:07

You're very blessed to have a DH like yours!
Now stop being paranoid and enjoy a happy life with him Grin

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 22:09

thanks Dolly but I need to have a word with myself and find out why I am feeling like this. I am not a clingy, jealous, paranoid person - quite independent for a 'traditional housewife/sahm' I just dont quite understand why I am feeling this way.

I went to look for some jewellery today to lend to my sis in law at the weekend - one of which DH bought me and I couldnt find it, actually I couldnt find either of the items I was looking for. Maybe it is my guilt projecting onto him.

oh I dunno, I am off for a ciggie and possibly a walnut whip on my way back via the kitchen and a cuppa.

OP posts:
carlywurly · 19/09/2011 22:11

Phew. Let it go, and don't get hung up on feeling paranoid. Something didn't feel right to you, but maybe it was only the misunderstanding about where he actually was.

DaydreamDolly · 19/09/2011 22:15

Coffee, try not to over analyse, he'll be home tomorrow to tell you what a wally you are and give you a big hug Smile

barkwithnobite · 19/09/2011 22:19

We all get paranoid from time to time. So glad to hear that urs is unfounded xx

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 22:25

Feeling sheepish, and a tad emotional now. DH just sent me a text with hotel details in (he usually does this) with an apology following - so sorry if I made you worry, sent this earlier and it failed, resending now.

Have told him no need to call me later, just to go and have a drink with work mates and I will speak tohim tomorrow, of to bed soon. text me back to say I have nothing to worry about.

Off for a cry cuppa and to scoff my walnut whip. Blush

OP posts:
DaydreamDolly · 19/09/2011 22:27

Don't cry, be happy that you have a lovely DH Smile

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 22:31

I am happy dolly my dh is a gem - and I am also a damn good wife (usually) Grin

cuppa and walnut whip going down a treat. Wink Actually its not a 'real' walnut whip, its a M&S fake one.

OP posts:
DaydreamDolly · 19/09/2011 22:35

Do you eat the walnut? I always throw the walnut away.

Original poster
CoffeeIsMyFriend · 19/09/2011 22:39

oh yes, walnut first, then the top then eat the inside fluffy bit then the chocolate then the thick bottom bit of chocolate. It is a fine art I tell you. And then I had a 'slice' of mint aero - had forgot that was in the fridge.

Comfort eater? Moi? Wink

OP posts:
DaydreamDolly · 19/09/2011 22:44

Needs must Coffee! Smile Sleep well.