FFS How to make DH do things ^properly^?????

[PruniStuffing]

I'm sure I'm not alone here. I know I'm not in RL, because I do not know any women who have dps who are totally competent, able to predict what will need to be done then either do it or organise for it to be done. I feel atm like I am swimming in treacle. I have to organise everything, and it's grinding me down. My dh is a lovely lovely bloke, but (what a cliche) seems not to listen at all and most of the time I am not a nag but tiredness and the relentnessness of it all is turning me into a shrew and I loathe that.

OK so I need a few practical suggestions to prevent me from strangling the man I love. What do you do?

Link please XmasPud!

Dino I'm not offended, I did think about it seriously as I know I am a bit at fault here too, but honestly I am not like that unless he has been really cack-handed, and tbh I'd expect him to be the same.

Binkie the thing with the present is that there were conversations around the present that I didn't put on here, about me not having the time to do everything present-related, so though I was happy to do the buying as I am in town a lot, I couldn't do everything and it was all there etc. Not totally one-sided either, he has said no problem, I can do it, I'm happy to do my bit etc. But unless I go to him and say Pruneboy, go and wrap the present from both of us to my father and put it in the post, it will not happen, despite the scaffolding around it, iyswim.

It all looks so petty written down....I am slinking off now to think about lists.

Pud,can't see that e mailing to tellsomeone to put the bins out could be any less annoying than telling them in person??

Possible even more so???

When I have a sensible conversation with my dh about the uselessness of most men when it comes to mundane chores, he explains quite eloquently that, for instance, he can walk into the kitchen and just "doesn't see" the tea-stained, crumb-covered work surfaces. He can load stuff into the dishwasher, but he "doesn't see" the odd spoon or the dirty plate still sitting in the sink, and it just "doesn't occur" to him to put the dishwasher powder box away after using it. It is quite laughable, but he is being really serious. He says I've got to read the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" (correct title?) book as it explains it much better.

It is nothing to do with being male or female - I am exactly the same as your DH in this regard!

Hi

I haven't read the whole thread just the first message and wanted to add my 2 penneth - applogies if it has all been said already.

I have a 3 weekly time table up on the fridge with EVERYTHING on it that needs doing every day and at what sort of time (times are flexible but tea should be about 6.30 most nights).

This has 2 effects

1stly DH has no cause to not know what needs to be done and when.

2ndly I don't have to run round with this constant timetable in my head.

The other thing that I did was read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. It really helped to understand that men really do think in a different language to women - seriously!!

In my last relationship my ex had never made me a drink if I'd asked until I change how I asked and he went and did it immediately - you could have knocked me down with a feather!! now not that I wanted to be able to get him to wait on me hand and foot it was just a revelation to find that asking differently had such a different response.

Good luck hope that you are able to resolve some of the issues and soon.

H x

Oh god just browse through the last couple of threads and seen ThePrisoners message not in cahoots honest.