I Have a Date Tonight!

[MotherMucca]

Have been languishing on PoF (I know!) and had a message from a man whose profile is good, messages suggest he's a larf.

I have not gorn on an ID for years. I know all the safe dating stuff, no probs there. The man (as suggested in his photos) is no Tom Hardy.

This does not matter, does it? I know it's impossible to judge chemistry via photos. Is my reticence due to nerves, or an almost certain knowledge that I won't get fanny gallops from this man?

Agog here, Mucca.... let's be having it!

Makes cup of tea and settles down to hear Mucca's date...

No Bluebelle, the Barnacle reference was to his penis friends lol..

Cup of tea cm? Have a

You're right Izzy, in fact I'll have a cider lol..

come on Mucca...

Here you go

Bet he's got crabs in with those barnacles.

Ewwwwww Charlottesmum!!!!

I want to hear how the date went! :) Must, Get. Own. Life.

Ewww luckily I never found out...however a guy I dated about 6 months ago had the whole lot off - back, sack and crack...I always wondered if he'd had crabs and thats why he was hair free....

Oh, I'm so sorry. He was a bit odd. Not entertaining odd though.

Just a bit posh n nervy n jumpy. Had three pints, he stared at my tits, I wondered why the fuck...

I said I had to go. We shook hands.

The end.

I feel like such a let down to you all.

I knew tissues would be needed

Oh don't be disheartened .

Just think - next!

Where, oh where do I find my princeywinceypoo now??

So, who was posh, nervy & jumpy? Him or you?

Stared at your tits - was your decolletage on display?

Three pints? Did you conversation flow or is he/you a quick drinker? Did he pay for the beverages and what type of establishment were you boozing imbibing in?

Oh well, you can't win them all. As for staring at your tits. FFS!

You haven't let anyone down, Mucca. I'm just sorry that it didn't turn out better for you.

Did he look like his photo?

Mucca don't be disheartened!! I have had loads and loads of dates, been divorced over 8 years!!! But I learn something from each date I go on (last one being don't lend your hedge trimmer to a complete stranger).

XX

Hehehe! I was wearing a fairly high-decolletage dress. They are still, um, obvious anyway.

Three pints - I thought that was restrained!

Who's princeywinceypoo? Your pussy, Mucca? Probably out having more luck than you did.

Now, you musn't let this put you off. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. There's loads more on POF, but you'll need some stamina to systematically work through them.

I reckon we need to set up a mumsnet speed-dating event - buzz has already perfected 'Next!'.

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou for the support. I could not have done it without you.

WHY didn't I Mumsnet years ago??

[Regertful]

Got a bit worried about you an hour or so ago - thought we might have to send the mumsnet posse out to unscrew the ladies loo window so you could make your escape.

Sorry, had to giggle about the hedge-trimmer. Definitely a third date thing, lending your secateurs, let alone your hedge trimmer .

He wasn't interested in trimming cm's bush for her - he needed it for his own.

Hope you've a large steriliser for when you eventually get your trimmer back, cm.

I feel like such a disappointment.

drunkenly clings onto izzy's ankles.

X-Posted lots.

Luff you all

Hope he paid for the 3 pints Mucca - reckon that's the least he could've done after feasting on your boobage all evening!

We luff you too Mucca - purely in an untypical M/net way, you understand.

Pints eh? Gal after my own heart. You & I should go out on the pull sometime.