What happening to me?...

[Pleasehelpme]

I really don't know where to start I have too much spinning round in my head.
I'm 30 weeks pregnant and feeling horribly heavy, dh and I really really aren't getting on at the moment and I know it's my fault. He really is the sweetest man but at the momnet I can't stand him, he can't do anything right. He says that I blame him for everything - which I do. I'm unhappy. We have recently moved house and was so excited about the new house but now I am starting to hate it. So many tghings go wrong.
I have so much work to do before I go on maternity leave, but I can't seem to think straight to do it.
In the evenings I get angry, about absolutely anything; theres ash on the floor, dh leaves the pan and brush on the table, our toddler whinging, dh leaving the kitchen sink on a mess, having the television too loud, my heartburn, the list is endless. I mean not just a little angry, I mean uncontrollable rages, Anger that I almost cannot deal with.
I went to see my parents with dd at the weekend. Mum felt I needed a break and things were fine. I came back last night and the house was really messy, cue another temper tantrum. Dh tries to hug me as we haevn't seen each other for 5 days - he's bought me a bottle of Baileys and soem M&M's but I shrugged him off. Dh says I have turned into an ogre, I should try to be nice. I say that I am wishing that we hadn't got married and upsetting him further. How can I try to be nice when that's not how I feel? I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, if I hold try and hold my temper I juts get angrier.
This morning I got into the shower after he and dd had left and the shower was either too hot or too cold. I cried and cried and cried. I'm so fed up, so angry, so uncomfortable amd so miserable.
I think I'm cracking up and I don't know what to do or where to start...
Please help me

oh hun. i dont know what advice to goive. maybe some time out for the 2 of you to remember again why you fell in love........time away from the house?

so i can't give you more advice im not really sure what to say. i know when i was preg i was tired, stressed and that often made me angry.

cx

have you thought about possible ante natal depression? Have a chat with your m/w

oh gosh. sounds dreadful. i wonder whether you've got a case of ante-natal depression? are you feeling really anxious about the new arrival and the impact it's going to have on your already busy life?
i think your mum is right that you do need a break - i think you need to be kind to yourself. ask people to help you with your toddler/ making meals, get a cleaner if you can afford it. you sound as though you are crying out for help in your own angry way. you need some time for you - can you book a massage, go for a walk, go to the cinema, anything that makes you remember who you the person is rather than you the mum/wife/daughter/housekeeper, etc

You sound rather depressed to me. I seriously believe there is something called pre natal depression - I certainly feel I had it in my pregnancies, although I did not get post natal depression. I don't know that going to the doctor would help, but perhaps just acknowledging to yourself that you are having a difficult time right now - too much work to do, extra physical strain with carrying the baby, heartburn, etc, a loss of your usual strength to put up with all the little niggles in life (like a dh who leaves a mess in the kitchen sink) etc, will enable you to see a little more clearly through the fog.

Try to limit the things you feel responsible for and either have lower standards in the house or get dh to do more. I found I was constantly saying to dh "I can't do all this and grow a baby you know!" He is bound to be feeling the stress too, but he isn't the one carrying and growing a baby 24 hours a day. Make him see that.

Treat yourself occasionally. I am sure if you try to relax more, you will be less short tempered and able to be more loving towards dh. That alone will pay dividends!

Oh and by the way, I wasn't working when I had my later children and gave up work with my first when I was 28 weeks pregnant, so you are doing really well to still be working now.

Hi pleasehelpme. My DH has just said that I blew up over little things, that normally I would have just got on with and done myself e.g moving a crisp packet in to the bin myself instead of picking a argument.
Just think there is only ten weeks to go. When it gets mad just take a deep breath and count to ten. Try and make the most of the time you have with your eldest before newbie arrives. BTW I'm not just saying that, I have 2 DS's with a 22month age gap and my youngest is only just 6 months.
this time will pass and you'll be getting on better soon!
Take Care x

Maybe you should write things down to explain to your DH how you are feeling. It will stop you from getting wound up or emotional when trying to tell him verbally. Explain how much you love him but be honest about how you feel.
I was a nightmare when I was pregnant. I had a huge row with my DH because he wouldn't leave me alone to do a Suduko all by myself, he kept trying to help me but I was getting more and more wound up. Ended up bursting into tears a) because I couldn't do it and b) becuase everybody was intererring.
Do you remember being like this when pregnant with your 1st?

Hello, am new to this lark - but here goes:
Ask yourself if it is just the hormonal changes during your pregnancy that are making you feel this way, or are your feelings about dh "real" (by this I mean not pregancy induced)? I often had irrational mood swings and the smallest thing could make think that everyone and everything was conspiring against me.
With regards to work - at the end of the day, you can only do what you can do - and if it doesn't all get done by the time you leave, can you not leave a list of things for colleagues to finish off when you've left? Not sure what you do, but surely they realise that you are not going to be functioning on all cylinders at the moment, and should be cutting you a bit of slack.
My advice - take some time for yourself and ask yourself if it is actually your dh that you are angry with, or is it just that you are so tired and fed up that everything that he does just winds you up. Have an evening of pampering for yourself, then when you are feeling slightly more rational and calm, sit down with dh and tell him what you have discovered (i.e. that it is not him that you are angry with, but you are feeling low/down etc and that the best thing he can do for you is to not argue back and just take the tongue lashing for now - it shouldn't be for too much longer!).

Hope that you get things sorted out and that it all turns out the way you want it to.

Good Luck

You're not cracking up, you've got a lot on your plate. I did moving house (and moving country) when I was nearly 30 weeks pregnant and it was tough going.

As others have said here, be kind to yourself. I can't tell you not to stress about the mess, but take yourself out of the situation if you can - another trip to your mum's perhaps. Also, in a calmer moment try to explain to your lovely dh that Baileys and M&Ms are all very well, but coming home to a tidy house would be much nicer - he's a man, it needs to be spelled out clearly, in short sentences and words of one syllable. Take care

Thankyou for all your help. I just want this to all go away. Feel like this has been going on for weeks now and I'm not sure how much more of it I can stand. Even when I tell myself that I must try to be nice, I fly off the handle. I wish there was soemone I could talk to but everyone thinks I'm 'so strong' and they say ' you are doing soo well'. All I want to do is cry.

i got this both times when i was pg - at about 20 weeks, 25 weeks, 30 weeks and 35 weeks. It kind of washed in and out. I assumed it was my hormones playing tricks on me and tried to ride with it as much as possible, although i regularly threw things to try and relieve my anger .

I dont really know what advice to give, other than to speak to your gp or mw. I do understand and sympathise with you greatly though.

I need someone to talk to, where can I go?
I'm sitting here at work, the office is empty but I don't want to go home

PHM, do you have a nice Midwife who you can call? Or a Health Visitor?
I hate pregnancy (am 28weeks) as it turns me into a hormonal mess and it sounds like you have added stresses...

Do you have an understanding GP? If so, they should definitely be your first port of call. I went - I was a bit like you - and was referred to the practic counsellor whilst pregnant, who I then went back to when I got PND, plus my doctor eventually put me on ADs and has been so helpful.
It is a horrible, horrible feeling, but it probably is hormones, stress, tiredness etc. Depression can give you that feeling of uncontrollable rage - I had this with the PND, at it's worst I just wanted to physically smash the flat up. Awful.
If your GP is not sympathetic, is there another at the practice you could see?

can you ring someone? a friend? samaritans?

We have literally juts moved, I haven't registered with a GP yet. I don't want 'uncontrollable rage' to be my first reason for visiting him/her.

just keep 'talking' to MN if it helps! lots of people here understand. Samaritans good too if you just need someone to talk to. But get to the doctors, definitely. If you address it all now, it will help you once you've had the baby.

i think what people are saying is that the uncontrollable rage is only a symptom of something else - like depression. the doctor will be brilliant if you explain everything. ring them now and make an appointment - make a double one if you don't want to be rushed.

I have been thinking who could I ring. But how can you say "I'm an emotional wreck at the moment, I need help?"

I agree with the othert posters, go see your GP, it is well-recognised that some women suffer from antenatal depression too.

your first reason for visiting a GP would be being 30 weeks pregnant!
So, is there a midwife you particularly like, or could you talk to your old GP? You will need to register with a GP anyway for the new baby, and any decent GP is going to understand the stress of moving whilst pregnant plus (hopefully) ante and post natal depression/stress.

I don't know what they could do that would help.

I'm frustrated because I keep ringing my midwife but her mobile is on divert.

you don't need to start with that IMO - start with, I'm 30 weeks pregnant, I've just moved, I've got a toddler, I'm working, I'm so knackered - I mean just look at that list, I'm tired just reading about it. you wouldn't be human if you weren't feeling the strain of all that.

keep ringing the midwife/leaving messages if you think she would be helpful. It's always difficult trying to work out what people could do to help, but just listening to you is a good start. it always feels like there's just no way out, especially when you're knackered - you just can't get your thoughts straight. That's where finding someone to listen to you helps.

I was just like this when pregnant with first baby, and getting that way this time around.

Try to sleep as much as you can, eat whatever you want, and go to see your doctor, because I think antenatal depression can turn into PND.