Hi,
I've been researching child behaviour to try to support my 5yo in managing their emotions and came across 'oppositional defiance disorder' (I've cut and pasted a description of ODD below).
It didn't really fit with my child's behaviour but DID resonate with some of my partner's behaviour which I find difficult to deal with. It's as if when I have expectations of him (in contributing to / participating in things as part of the family) he sees me as an 'authority figure' to which his natural response is to be defiant. It's pretty unremitting and v wearing.
Has anyone had experience of an adult / partner with ODD? Can it be an adult condition? What's the best way of responding to them?
Symptoms
The key behavioural symptoms of ODD are negative, hostile and defiant behaviour. For ODD to be diagnosed, symptoms have to have been present for at least six months and involve four or more of the following:
often loses temper
often argues with adults
often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults? requests or rules
often deliberately annoys people
often blames others for his mistakes or misbehaviour
often touchy or easily annoyed by others
often angry and resentful
often spiteful or vindictive.
To be classified as ODD, the behaviour also has to have caused a significant degree of disturbance to home, social or school life.
How does it cause problems?
For parents, having a child with ODD can be very difficult. ODD children can vary from being mildly oppositional to always being hostile.
A child with ODD will:
deliberately take the most difficult path, eg to say ?no? on principle
enjoy challenging and arguing with people
refuse to do what he?s told.
It's common for a child with ODD to blame everyone else for his problems, and at his worst he can be angry, spiteful and vindictive.
These types of problem behaviours are typically directed towards parents and teachers, plus others in authority. Coping with a consistently disruptive attitude can be extremely frustrating and physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting.