I was just wondering if anyone could offer any advice, as I feel so utterly miserable (though I know my problems are pathetic compared to others).
I posted before about how my DH didn't seem interested in sex, something he vehemently denies, and when we argue about it (talking gets me nowhere), then he does have sex, but straight after it's back to as before - and I cannot take it anymore.
We've only been together for two years (we have a DD whose a year, and I'm 7 months pregnant). We didn't marry because of DD, we'd arranged the marriage before we found out I was pregnant; it was a shock as I'd been told I couldn't get pregnant, and was nearly 40 yrs old.
Sex has never been a problem in our relationship (& we've had a few problems). It'd always been great, so I'm really confused as to how rubbish being ignored is making me feel... and how his dismissal of a problem is making me incredibly angry with him.
We're having intimacy maybe once a fortnight, not always sex & always after an argument.
I understand that men don't find pregnant women attractive, and have allowed for that, however, that is his problem (and which he denies), and tbh he never had a problem last year.
The other night I really wanted him (sad I know). I'd jsut had my hair cut & coloured (costing a small fortune), and I've been making an effort in dressing up, doing make-up etc. He ignored me. He came up when I was asleep... but in reality I was laying there crying.
I came downstairs as I can't bear to lie there next to him, when he doesn't want me.
He followed me downstairs & shouted at me to go to bed. He was quite aggressive (though didn't hurt me - he did sort of slap me but not hard, but it made me cry more). He then left the room and came in being all nice, and decided to talk - whist pointing a video camera at me. He questioned all the nasty things I said to him (and I did as I was frustrated at him ignoring me & making me feel hideous & unlovable). He was all nice, he said that he thought I wanted to sleep, that he'd come up with me earlier the next night, that he loved me so much, but it was my "head" that made me feel like this, not him.
So last night - well he let me go upstairs, while he watched the tennis, had coffee, played on his laptop, and came to bed late - again! I was nearly asleep, but he asked me to kiss him goodnight - which I refused.
I just feel awful - obviously he lied on camera - looking to be the calm voice of reason, whilst I was a crying hysterical mess... but the words were meaningless, and still he ignores me.
I've told him several times that I want to split up - I'd much rather be a single mother than live in a loveless, sexless sham of a marriage, but he won't entertain it - he just says it's my head that's the problem... but I feel so fucking hideous... surely if he is in love with me he'd show it?
He doesn't like walking around town with me - always walks behind, always ogles other women (always younger), and always makes comments about how he finds 50yr old women unattractive - I'm just over 8 yrs off that!