Breastfeeding and repulsed by sex..(?)

[treehuggermum]

My dp is drop dead gorgeous, a lot younger than me and i cant think of any other man else i fancy, and love more. However since having our dd 15 months ago and b'feeding throughout, it's made me repulsed thinking of sex, especially if i'm actually feeding, which sounds wierd but i sometimes randomly get sexual flashbacks which i put out straight away, but this makes me shudder and really go off my dp. He has a very high sexy drive and we do it maybe fortnightly, i usually have to force myself to as i dont want to lose him! Sometimes i'll even start arguing with him just before bedtime so we will sleep in seperate rooms then i can relax and know he's not going to try it on. This is terrible i know :( He is a great guy and a super dad and i just want things to be normal again between us. I dont want to stop breastfeeding yet either. Can anyone relate to this? Sorry for long post. I feel bit relieved to phase this finally..

erm, I'm not sure he said that he NEEDED sex, but that it's not enough unless it's everyday - but I still think he know it's wishful thinking. Why is everyone ignoring the fact that he stayed 15mnts with only a fortnightly sex? maybe now she can explain things to him and he'll be patient for a little longer. He is much younger, don't forget (how young i wonder).

Youth isn't an excuse for shutting down your partner when she tries to talk to you about an intimate problem you are both experiencing in your relationship.
The OP tried to talk to her partner about their sex life and he turned it on her, saying that unless he had sex every.single.day. it wasn't enough for him. Seems like a bit of an unreasonable demand, considering that they've not been having anywhere NEAR that amount of sex in a long time, and that she was trying to talk to him about a problem.

Can you imagine doing that to someone you work with?

"Uh, Hi Currants, I'm having a hard time getting that report to you at the moment, can we talk about why?"
"Unless you write me a report EVERY SINGLE DAY it's not enough for me!"

Bonkers. Deluded. And very inconsiderate.

Don't you dare wean, unless you want to!

I agree with SGM. Having a selfish partner who pressures you for sex is the problem. Not breastfeeding.

Just for the record, didn't fancy sex with XP at all after DS. Went through everything, wondered if it was breastfeeding, co-sleeping, tiredness, any of the other things. Turned out it was just pressure that I didn't like. I had a short sexual relationship with someone about 3-6 months after XP, still breastfeeding, fine, no problems. Started a new long term relationship 10 months after splitting with XP, still breastfeeding, no sex problems, now almost a year later, still breastfeeding, still no sex problems, unless there is the slightest bit of pressure. The pressure doesn't have to come from DP, BTW. If I ever put pressure on myself I can't bring myself to do it and it was only from having a fully respectful and supportive DP who was horrified at the idea of having sex if I wasn't getting into it that I realised it was actually okay to have these feelings and realised exactly why I'd been so repulsed by the idea of sex before.

My sex drive is higher than ever, I probably initiate more than DP does, it's like being a completely new person. Pressure and/or other general relationship issues are the problem. Not breastfeeding.