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Original poster

Is this behaviour a bit weird and inappropriate or am I just a total biatch?

63 replies

MrsFlittersnoop · 25/08/2011 15:09

DH gets terribly excited and slightly hysterical about everyday stuff.

Example -
DH: "I've just downloaded every single episode of "On the Buses"! ! EVERY SINGLE EPISODE!! Isn't that just amazing? That's incredible isn't it? How amazing is that?

MrsF: That's nice.

DH: We can watch them all tonight if you like!! Wouldn't you like that? We can have some tea and those biscuits we bought!!

MRsF: Errm, well, we'll see - I might have other things to do....

DH: Oh! I see! That's great isn't it! I just thought we might have a lovely evening cuddled up on the sofa together and you're not interested. Well thanks. I know where I stand then don't I?

I don't fake the same level of enthusiasm he goes into a terrible huffy sulk and can turn quite nasty. At best, I get accused of having so sense of humour/romance/sensitivity and at worst, of displaying hostility and contempt towards him. I confess I do find this behaviour needy, attention seeking and deeply irritating and sometimes find it hard to hide my annoyance. I just can't stand all the squealing like a girl and jumping up and down about the purchase of a packet of bourbon biscuits or watching bad 70's TV. Unfortunately his behaviour is now also being picked up on and criticised by my 15 year old DS, who has ASD and can be extremely blunt.

I passed my driving theory test today. I am, as you might imagine, rather pleased with myself, but it really wasn't very hard. Ever since I got home DH has been running into the room squealing, grabbing and squeezing me (very roughly) trying to pick me up (I am a 14 stone 6-footer Hmm) and shouting "You've passed! You've passed! at the top of his voice. I had to ask him to chill our please, and now he is acting very offended and hurt.

Am I a total bitch? I feel guilty (again) for not matching his mood-swings. It's nice that he is so pleased for me, but honestly.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Sn0wGoose · 25/08/2011 16:04

Awww I think you're being a bit mean tbh, he sounds lovely! I'd love DH to be so excited about one of my achievements! Usually all I get is "that's great, well, done. Pub?" :o

TheOriginalDesperateHousewife · 25/08/2011 16:11

I'm imagining the OP's to be like [[Dimages.digitalspy.co.uk/08/12/160x120_rex_742935o.jpgH Jeremy Biggins}}

TheOriginalDesperateHousewife · 25/08/2011 16:11

<a class="break-all" href="//Dimages.digitalspy.co.uk/08/12/160x120_rex_742935o.jpgH" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jeremy Biggins

Pelagia · 25/08/2011 16:16

He sounds like that Friend's character, fun Bobby

KatieMiddleton · 25/08/2011 16:21

hahahahaha I know who you mean but it wasn't Fun Bobby. He was the drunk who was not fun sober. The Alec Baldwin one... Parker! (I did look that up).

Cheria · 25/08/2011 16:24

I'm sometimes a bit like that. I get excited about small thigs. He sounds kind of sweet.

Sorry.

caramelwaffle · 25/08/2011 16:32

Oh. If he has been like this for years it is just...campness (not a real word)

On a more important note:

"no, Olive...I can't, because of my operation!"

Pelagia · 25/08/2011 16:37

Oh yes, Parker! Thanks KM

solidgoldbrass · 25/08/2011 16:38

Have you tried discussing it with him when he isn't in the middle of a woofy squealing fit? Pointing out, perhaps, that when he met you you made it clear that you don't scream like a five-year-old over every little thing and that perhaps the two of you can reach a compromise ie he rations the squealing and you allow a set amount of time to indulge his enthusiasm?

Original poster
MrsFlittersnoop · 25/08/2011 16:52

SGB, I have frequently tried discussing it with him. He says it's partly a coping mechanism from a dysfunctional and unhappy childhood, whereby he has taught himself to derive a great deal of pleasure from ordinary everyday events/things. He says he thinks it's an endearing trait (wrong) which I ought to appreciate. He also takes the opportunity to remind me of all the (many) things I do which piss him off no end, but continue to do regardless.

OP posts:
landed · 25/08/2011 17:00

I would have explained his behaviour as he has and so I would let him enjoy his little pleasures he must have other traits you enjoy. My DH is similar to this while the rest of his family are very much like your DH and I have over the years found it tiresome. However, there is a lot wrong with the world and sometimes I really wish I could enjoy ordinary things in the same way it actually makes me feel very mean and like I take things too much for granted. It takes all sorts to make the world go round, each to his own, what harm is he really doing? All come to mind.

Cocoflower · 25/08/2011 18:25

It sounds a bit irriating for those on the receiving end...

But for me- I am bit jelaous! I wish I still had such child-like enthuasiam and excitment for life- and such small things too!

MuckyBogStain · 25/08/2011 18:33

oh god he sounds really annoying.

I would respond like this:

DH - "OMG I've just downloaded a load of shit off the internet! isn't that amazing!"
Me - "YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME??? JESUS H SAMUAL I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! IVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED IN ALL MY LIFE!! I WANNA WATCH IT NOW AND EAT ALL THE BISCUITS AND USE ALL THE TEA BAGS IMMEDIATELY! YEAH!!! (a bit of screaming here) FUCK YEAH!!! ....... sound ok? good. fucking prick."

He should get the message from that.

jasper · 25/08/2011 19:37

If we combined him with my dh he might be my ideal man

solidgoldbrass · 25/08/2011 21:46

How much of a point has he got about things you do which annoy him, though?Does he mean stuff like you asking him to put his shitty pants in the laundry basket rather than hanging them on the light fitting - or do you have a few irritating habits of your own eg picking your nose in bed or whatever? More importantly, is he a good partner in other ways? If so maybe it's worth deciding to accept his squealing because his good qualities make up for it.

RufusTFirefly · 25/08/2011 21:49

As he's had a full-on episode of mania, I'd be inclined to think he may have hypomania (less severe variant of mania). If so, he could be on the upswing. Sounds like he's gone past the point of having insight, if so. Perhaps you could go to your GP and ask for advice? If I'm right it will be difficult to get your DH to accept that he's going high. Of course, I could be medicalising it as I don't know you or him IRL. But it does sound horribly familiar.

drfayray · 26/08/2011 05:42

Oh dear..I am a bit like that. I am very enthusiastic. I used to be called Tigger at Uni because I bounced into rooms.

I get excited at all sorts of things and I still find little things exciting. I mean, come on, the world can be such a dreary place sometimes.

For what it's worth, I get on very well with my DC's friends as I am rather excitable.

I am going through a really hard time atm with a separation and twunty STBXH and I am still excited about simple things .

Go easy on your DH. I feel for him Wink.

picnicbasketcase · 26/08/2011 05:52

Mmm bus conductors in the 70s were just so irresistible. To all women, without exception, regardless of how wonky their teeth were. I can see how that show would appeal to anyone. Especially the idea of cuddling up on the sofa and coating your teeth in biscuity gunk in an attempt to emulate the onscreen heart throbs.

PhilipJFry · 26/08/2011 08:29

That would really get on my nerves, especially the bit where he gets into a sulk if you don't respond in EXACTLY the same way. It's unreasonable of him to expect you to immediately ramp up the enthusiasm to maximum out of the blue because of his excitement. That's quite a bit different from him being excited and simply wanting to be acknowledged, isn't it? It's not fair to have to either fake a response or deal with a mood.

And I think people who think he sounds endearing and sweet are missing the bits where gets nasty if she doesn't respond in kind. That's not bloody sweet at all.

rainbowinthesky · 26/08/2011 08:36

Sorry, couldnt get past tethersend first comment, Also spurted my tea.

TrillianAstra · 26/08/2011 09:09

he goes into a terrible huffy sulk and can turn quite nasty

Isn't that far far more of a problem tan being a bit over-excitable?

Yesterdays · 26/08/2011 15:53

I don't fake the same level of enthusiasm he goes into a terrible huffy sulk and can turn quite nasty

I agree with Trillian . He doesnt get to decide how you should act or feel .

HansieMom · 26/08/2011 16:06

So he adopted this act as a child to cope with disappointment and he thinks it's endearing? Uh, no, it's not. It is annoying as hell.

Valetude · 26/08/2011 16:11

I feel a bit sorry for him! I get quite excited about things sometimes and dp has a 'look' which is kind of crushing! It makes me feel a bit like a Jane Austen character being put back in her place (primly doing her embroidery, presumably) by her sarcastic father.

lachesis · 26/08/2011 16:16

I don't get how people wind up marrying people who drove them mad with traits they couldn't abide even in the dating stage.

By your admission, you knew he was like this when you married him.

I could understand if it was something that came on gradually, or even he sprung it on after you were married, I've seen this happen.

But I can't for the life of me understand all the women on here who married men whom they were completely incompatible with.

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