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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

would this upset you?

32 replies

bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:36

2 and half years ago i met a good friend of mine on holiday, a year after we met, she moved 200 miles to be closer to me, as both our relationships had ended. anyway, we are really good mates now, and have both just had dds, mines 3 months, hers 2, and she's asked me to be godmother. well, it's her birthday next week, and on friday she informed me that she was going on a night out to celebrate, and had asked all her mates to go, including 1 that i despise and she doesn't really like, but i never got asked. i'm quite upset about it to be honest. What would you do?

OP posts:
Next · 06/12/2005 21:37

Did you ask her why? I would be really offended and upset.

Twiglett · 06/12/2005 21:38

ask her why?

merrymarchhare · 06/12/2005 21:38

Any chance she assumes you'd assume you were invited?

NotQuiteCockney · 06/12/2005 21:39

Maybe she assumed you wouldn't be up for it, or you have childcare issues?

As others say, you should ask.

paolosgirl · 06/12/2005 21:40

I'd be very offended and hurt too! Ask her why you're not invited, and put your mind at ease.

doormat · 06/12/2005 21:40

bubble i would ask

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:40

i don't really want to cause a scene, she's minding my dd 1 day a week when i return to work, she also knows a lot about me, and a certain relative of mine, that could cause a lot of shit. i probably wouldn't go anyway, but would've liked the opportunity ifswim

OP posts:
troublesawmummykissingsanta · 06/12/2005 21:40

I'd be annoyed. Ask her why she didn't ask you to go out, and tell her that it upset you. There may have been a good reason for it, or if you're that close she may just assume you'll be there. I know my bezzie mate does that to me. I don't get asked to go out. Its expected

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:43

the childcare isn't a issue, her dd is younger than mine. i feel quite betrayed, her dp's family have got really close to her and his cousins fiance (also godmother) is going and a few of his mates wives/gfs but not me...... i just don't get it

OP posts:
HappyMumof2TurtleDoves · 06/12/2005 21:44

that is really strange. Are you sure she's not expecting you to go???

Next · 06/12/2005 21:44

Is it out of charachter or does she sometimes do/say things that make you wonder about your friendship?

PotPourri · 06/12/2005 21:46

Sounds like you really need to ask her. Otherwise it will fester. Just get yourself ready for it and ring her up and ask her. I know you want to keep things good as she will be minding your little one, but will things be fine of you don't do anything about this now, and it festers. Could be, like everyone else, that she just assumed you would be coming along.... Could be really simple, or could be an issue - either way it is better that it comes out and you are able to work through it or correct the misunderstanding.

Good luck

Socci · 06/12/2005 21:48

Message withdrawn

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:49

no, she's not expecting me to go, she reeled off a list of names who were going. i was really shocked. lately, she has done a few thins that have niggled at me, i just don't want to be godmother to her dd if we aren't going to be close for long, as it's a very huge responsibility.

OP posts:
Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:51

i am due to see her on thursday, but i know i'll blow, and when i'm wound up, it's not the best thing to do. i haven't even called or text her since, i'm not angry, just a little hurt, and just read back the relative comment, it wasn't incest or anything lol

OP posts:
Next · 06/12/2005 21:52

Ring her for a chat and bring up the subject of the night out and jokingly say "dosn't the godmaother to be get an invite?" or jokingly ask eg who do I have to sleep with to get an invite?!?!

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 21:54

lol next, i don't think that would go down too well as her dp is my ex, it wasn't serious, just when both at loose end, but this was years before i even met her

OP posts:
Next · 06/12/2005 21:57

Ooops perhaps not then!!

What other things have niggled at you about her?

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 22:01

things like the christening dress, she didn't know which to get, had seen 3, i suggested she looked in next, anyway she got that 1, she asked if i got mia christened which dress would i choose so i said the next 1 and she said "OH, YOU'D COPY ME WOULD YOU?" ffs, i told her about it, mia isn't getting christened so it isn't a issue

OP posts:
Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 22:03

but, her dps cousin got her 2dds done a few weeks ago and my friend, we'll call her jean, went mad because the dress she chose was 1 of the 3 she'd chosen and had had in reserve wtf?????

OP posts:
Next · 06/12/2005 22:17

It seems so odd that she wants you to be godmother but blanks you for a night out! I would confont it now rather than later as if it does go bad at least you can sor out other child care

Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 22:29

thanks for listening to me rant i'll get over it. i'm not the kind of person who can confront people, i bottle things and then explode, i am getting better. it once took me 2 years to confront my mum, last week it took me 2 days, much much better lol (that was when i found out she'd fed my 3 month old dd READY BREK) [SHOCK]

OP posts:
Original poster
bubbles2904 · 06/12/2005 22:29
Shock
OP posts:
Next · 06/12/2005 22:31

!!!!!!

itschristmas · 07/12/2005 13:47

Hello bubbles!

Yes I would be upset too. Do you think she did not invite you because the person you despise will be there - and didn't imagine you would want to be there too? I'd still ask her - its all too easy to get your wires crossed - I know I'm olymic champion at wire crossing rhxx