would this upset you?

[bubbles2904]

2 and half years ago i met a good friend of mine on holiday, a year after we met, she moved 200 miles to be closer to me, as both our relationships had ended. anyway, we are really good mates now, and have both just had dds, mines 3 months, hers 2, and she's asked me to be godmother. well, it's her birthday next week, and on friday she informed me that she was going on a night out to celebrate, and had asked all her mates to go, including 1 that i despise and she doesn't really like, but i never got asked. i'm quite upset about it to be honest. What would you do?

Olymics - are just like the Olympics only better!!

I'd ask otherwise it'll just niggle at you for ages - it seems a bit odd to me!!! I'd be upset as well.

Went to a friend's wedding about 7 years ago, and the photographer shouted out 'photo with friends' and reeled off a list of people and we weren't on it.

I was absolutely gutted at the time and even now I wonder about it - still haven't asked her about it though, and we are still quite friendly!!!

Hi Bubbles/18sleeps - I'd have to wonder how good my friendship with 'Jean' was if I thought she might be vindictive and spread rumours if she didn't like something I said.

Seems to me that she might be a bit unbalanced about what is and what isn't important - the Christening dress stuff just isn't worth the hassle of getting miffed about really is it? As for you 'copying' her, sounds like she likes being 'top-dog' amongst her friends.

I'd be upset, but I'd also wonder if I needed friends like her...

Think your right to wonder if your friendship's firm enough for you to take on being Godmother to her DD - Sorry this isn't any more positive

I'd try to be subtle about it but let her know YOU know she's deliberately def'ed you out of her birthday bash.

Go On! You'll feel better for it!

im goin out for my bday soon and ive got a friend i havent invited, we've been friends for 10 years but i know she wouldnt want to come to a club and i would feel guilty about not going somewhere she likes, she has childcare issues so hardly ever goes out and doesnt have any money right now either i kno how the conversation would go so theres not much point in asking imo, maybe your friend knows you wouldnt go so doesnt see the point having a conversation about it she probably feels so close to you (a bit like sisters) she knows if you wanted to come then you would just go and she'd be chuffed you'd made the effort hope that makes sense.

i do understand what you mean lmg, but i am a little upset about it, the girl i despise is a relation of mine (in law), and she doesn't like her either. just annoyed that she's asked her but not me, but that she blatantly talked about it all in front of me, saying i think there'll be 10 of us, then reeled off names minus mine.
Harktheheraldcabewillsing, the dress issue is really not worth seeing my arse over, it'll never be an issue, so not worth it in my eyes.
i love her dd to bits, and am truly honoured to of been asked but if i'm good enough for that job, then surely she thinks highly of me and i feel i should of been invited as i'm the only friend that has been there for her in the past. hope this makes sense. i think i'm over it now though.

Bubbles - I know what you mean. I'm very careful about inviting people who are important to me to anything I organise - even if I'm positive that they will decline. I usually say "I know you probably can't make it but a bunch of us are going out..." But I have other friends who think that there's no point asking if they think the answer will be "no". Upsets me too and makes me very paranoid sometimes wondering what I've done to offend them but usually turns out that they didn't think I'd enjoy it/afford it/ fit it in. Happened especailly when I was pregnant. That's just the way some people are.
Definitely ask her though to put your mind at rest. Jaam x

thanks jaam, i've just spoken to her and she's genuinely not done it on purpose. i haven't asked her about it as i'm not good at confrontation but she has said it is now just her and dp and his cousin and his df, my dp doesn't really speak to her dp so i can understand that