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Original poster

I am a serial dater.

96 replies

oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 17:31

I've lurked for a while so I thought I'd post. I expect to get shot down in flames but what the hell. I thought it may give you some insight into the male psyche ( I'm a bloke by the way).
Basically I am a serial dater. In fact as I write this I have 9 women on the go at various stages of intimacy.
Two I have slept with.
Three I have snogged and may sleep with.
Four I have just started dating but I expect at least 2/3 of those to end in sex.
Why am I doing it?
I like the attention. I like sex. And I don'tI fancy/like any of them enough to want to commit myself to.
Most I have met online.
I'm thinking of quitting this whole charade. It's exhausting. I've been as honest where I can with all these women with regards to how far I want a relationship to go with them.
One of the women who I have sex with simply wants that...sex.
Another who I am just dating I have told that I didn't want anything serious but she wants to carry on seeing me.
So there you have it.
Please form an orderly queue to stcik the boot in.

OP posts:
LittleHousebytheRiver · 04/08/2011 18:15

You aren't the same person littleblue went on a minibreak with are you? The "internet love rat"? If so your world is about to collapse. If not it is a strange blue world today...

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 18:17

No, but it was reading that thread that made me want to come 'out'.
In actual fact, I think he sounds a lot worse them me.
It sounds like he does lead the women on.

OP posts:
LittleHousebytheRiver · 04/08/2011 18:23

I must make a point of asking my internet dates about how many other women they are currently "seeing". (But won't mention my string of men unless asked...)

Ugh I'm feeling queasy now

ReadyToDrink · 04/08/2011 18:30

I really want to know if you're a fireman. I know a lot of firemen & most of them are very much like this. With no obvious allure, tbh.

ohgawdherewegoagain · 04/08/2011 18:32

OP, it's not just a male preserve. I do it too! There's nothing to analyse as far as I'm concerned. I've been single for a long time by choice and now I am dating many to ensure that I understand what it is I am looking for in a man (and what I should not). Trouble is, I have good fun and there is no reason to stop at the moment. I've not made exclusivity arrangements with any of them. Some have wanted a little more from me, some not and apart from one, there is no one that I have dated that I have wanted more from. (Sadly, the one that I would like more from is married so no go area.) I think this whole dating thing is only a problem if you are pretending it to be more than it is.

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 18:33

Probably because they've all got big hoses.

OP posts:
ChizChizChiz · 04/08/2011 18:33

Well, cheers for that, OP.

Anyone else still waiting for the startling insight, as promised?

Lizzabadger · 04/08/2011 18:34

I think we need to see your photo.

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 18:35

Why would you need to see my photo?

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 04/08/2011 18:41

Q: What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons?

A: Jose and Hose B.

Oh. Wait. That doesn't work written down.

buzzsore · 04/08/2011 18:42

Cos you're sick of the dating scene and on the look out for number 10 to change your ways, amirite? Grin So we need to check out the goods to see if there are any takers. Grin

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 18:45

Blimey....I wasn't expecting that LOL

spose you're right.

Doubt you'd ever trust me though.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 04/08/2011 18:46

You know, most people in the UK are likely to assume that unless stated otherwise a relationship is exclusive. You should make it clear to your sexual partners that you are dating more than one person. If you were in America where the dating culture is different then fair enough.

Are you using condoms and/or dental dams for oral sex as well?

SarahStratton · 04/08/2011 18:47
HairyGrotter · 04/08/2011 18:48

Christ on a bike, I do this and I'm a girlllllll

Unless we have the 'talk' I take it on face value. I enjoy it, tis fun.

This OP has not given me an insight into the male psyche because men are pretty obvious and it hardly takes a lot of effort to realise when their being a bit of a dick.

mouldyironingboard · 04/08/2011 18:48

If you're happy with your life as it is then there's no harm being done. Do you make it clear to all the women you date that you don't want any commitment? As long as they know that there is no hope of a relationship it isn't a problem (and use condoms every time).

I'm guessing that you have had a long-term relationship end within the past few years and at the moment are doing the 'child in a sweetie shop' thing of being single and enjoying it. I would also think that you won't still be doing this in another few years as you'll get bored and want a break from dating or want to settle down a bit.

I was like you after my first marriage ended (although I couldn't cope with more than 3 at a time!). I changed after a few years and wanted something more meaningful.

PaigeTurner · 04/08/2011 18:52

What's the question again?

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 18:56

You know what....I'm going to send every one of them a text tomorrow telling them that I'm not interested in a serious relationship and I want to be free to see other people.
If all of them tell me to F off then so be it. I'll go and tend to my allotment instead. It's getting a bit overgrown.

OP posts:
ViolaTricolor · 04/08/2011 18:57

The joke works for me, manatee Grin. See also:

"Doctor, doctor, I've got a steering wheel in my pants! It's driving me nuts!"

Al0uiseG · 04/08/2011 18:58

Who are you holding out for? None of them are long term material, are you waiting for someone better or different or are you just enjoying the quantity and diversity?

SarahStratton · 04/08/2011 19:00

MN is full of single women. You should do a profile. After you've sorted out what it is you want out of life. And have told all these women that you aren't really interested.

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 19:04

No photo or profile. Imagine no one fancied me. It'd be like not being picked for the football team at school.

OP posts:
madmn52 · 04/08/2011 19:09

My DH was in a 'serial dater' phase when I met him. Was never going to get married again or live with anyone etc etc (been married once before). Not up to your standards though OP - had max 3 women on the go but all just casual dates/sex and they knew where they stood. Only one wanted more and he had stopped seeing her because of this. Then he met me and within two days had called the other two and told them he wouldnt be seeing them again - one was one night a week - pics/ meal /sex and the other he would just see out locally and sometimes but not always they would go back to hers although he never stayed the night. They were both apparently fine with it but the third one started to stalk me a little bit and be a bunny boiler for a while. So I suppose even when your honest OP some women (or men) are going to get hopes raised/get hurt because some never fully accept the no strings and think they will win you over - they then get emotionally attached and I may get flamed for this but I think women especially sometimes do get emotionally attached when sex is involved.

mouldyironingboard · 04/08/2011 19:10

I think that sounds like a good plan, oleblueeyes.

Original poster
oleblueeyes · 04/08/2011 19:13

I might add the only reason I have so many on the 'go' is because of online dating. I doubt I'd ever have the opportunity to meet so many in 'real life', though a couple are women I have met in pubs.
I'm not always like this, and not long ago had a few barron months.
Also, I have still only slept with two of them, and that's been over last couple of months.
So I'm not a total slag.

OP posts: