I gave lying cheating bastard husband a second chance and feel like such a fool

[brokenlady]

I have posted my situation in some of the previous threads. Married 10 years, 2DC and quite a nice life or so I thought. Found out 6 weeks ago that H had been having an affair with married woman with kids for a couple of months. He begged forgiveness, said he never intended to leave me (like that makes it ok) and that me and DC were his world and he had made huge mistake. Tentatively we began to work towards trying to make it work.

I asked that he reduced his drinking (I honestly think this is a bigger problem than the affair), quit smoking which he started again after 3 years of abstinence just cos OW smokes and not to have any contact with OW. L made it clear that if these things did not happen, I would end it.

Last night I checked his mobile bill and saw that he has been ringing her at home most days. She is SAHM. I am just devastated. Why put me and DC through last 6 weeks and give false hope of a future? He has gone in to complete melt down. says it is all my fault for checking his bill and therefore it is actually me who has ruined everything! I know that this is a protective thing - if he is blaming me then he doesn't have to blame himself. But it feels like such a slap in the face. So cruel. I feel I have been set back 6 weeks in my healing process.

He says that he was ringing to find out if her husband was likely to go after him and to see how things were panning out for them. I just don't buy it. He is adamant that it is over - she is still with her husband. I have spoken to her today and she insists she wants nothing to do with him. However, she is a proven liar with the morals of an alley cat.

I have packed his bags and sent him off to his parents again and it has disrupted DC again. He is deluding himself that we can get through this but I have made it clear I don't think I can.

So what the hell for me now? Really need some advice. Popped in to a solicitor's office today and he wants £170 per hour - not sure I can afford to divorce the philandering sod! Are there ways of keeping costs down? How do I negotiate access to DC? I work and earn 30k a year - will I be entitled to any child maintenance? Sorry I am rambling but am just all over the place.

[BMW6]

I can't even get past the first two lines as it makes my eyes go >

[1974Nadia]

I'm sorry I've never used this I didn't know if out a paragraph space it would post the message. I don't know how to start a new thread but it doesn't sound as if I will her much sympathetic advice maybe I should just throw myself in front of an intercity :(

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

Nadia, you are getting that reaction because your post looks an awful lot like the kind of posts that appear here quite regularly, from trolls, bored teens and journalists.

Start a new thread, go to the top of this page you will see Topics Relationships

Click on Relationships will take you to the front page. At the top you will find Start a New thread.

Relationships is usually the most friendly of the fora, also the most vulnerable. Your post has hit a nerve, that's all.

Start from scratch, you will get a lot of support

[FuckedUpPanda]

Hope you enjoyed Lapland BL

[1974Nadia]

Can I just delete it? I'm just going to check out. I've had enough and I'm too bruised to take more of a battering.

[Angelf1sh]

Nadia, you can’t make someone love you and he doesn’t love you. Break up with him, cut him entirely out of your life and move on. A lot easier to say than do, I realise but tbh you don’t have much of a choice - it’s that or stay as things are and you shouldn’t stay as things are.

If you post properly, you’ll get more advice. Good luck.