Just need to get throught tonight

[lookingfoxy]

Sorry another self indulgent thread.

Totally bereft at end of relationship of 6 years. Me that ended it finally, but asked him back and he said no, too much had happened.

He's having a night out tonight, i've always been a bit insecure and feel so anxious, Its a works night out so not much chance of anything happening (I know this), I know its going to happen sometime, I just feel so shit tonight and need encouragement not to text/call to ask him back (again)!!

He has many many bad points, right now Im thinking none of this matters, which I know is total rubbish, as long as we can be together.

Did anyone else have these feelings of complete, god I can't find a word, patheticness!!

Or is it just me, please tell me i'll get by this point, im posting here instead of contacting him.

Hi, thanks for your post MAPAM.

Sorry could only offer practical advice, not up to anything else at the moment.

Doctors visit went absolutely fine, meds doubled (was on a very low dose anyway), they've certainly made a difference, I feel 'normal' again for the first time in a while.

Ex picked up ds and dropped him off without incidenct yesterday, I was relatively unaffected, cutting contact and not seeing/texting/phoning is really helping.

Off to see a show with ds today and have arranged meet up with friends on my next day off, usually i'd be in doing housework etc.

I think the structure of my life will be changing slowly as I never got to do meet ups etc before, never had the spare money for lunch, house always needed gutting etc now without the cash squandering messy pig here thats not an issue.

Im not thinking about ex as much as I was, in fact I try not to think of him at all, other than I hope he will be ok in the future. I think I am finally out of that totally desperate stage although still feeling nervous and unsure about the future I am not dreading it anymore, if that makes any sense.

Hey Foxy - Yuuuu Huuu !! where are you ??? how are things going ? hows work ? has messy pig stayed away ? have you had lunch with your friends ??? have you stayed out of the desperate stage ??? Hope things are going well ( sorry for all the questions) xxxx

Hello MAPAM
I personally am fine, still happily taking meds, met a few friends for lunch who have been hugely supportive, confided in my family who have also been supportive, feeling really good at the moment.
I got to the desperate stage again when I found out some news (don't want to rake over it, too painful), this stage was quickly replaced by fury like i've never felt, so I try not to think of the 'past' now as Im not by this anger yet!
Sad development is that he does not want to see ds again, I haven't broken this to ds yet, but ds has stopped asking about him!!

So how are you coping, did you get your tax credits sorted etc etc etc.

Hey foxy glad you are fine on meds and that you have been for lunch. It is great to hear that both your friends and family have been supportive- you will probably be blown away by peoples support- grab it with both hands.

I am sorry to hear that you got to the desperate stage again but I think a move to fury is probably a good one - but so sorry that you had painful news to deal with xxxx ( do think fury is better than desperate tho)

I am sorry and shocked to hear he doesnt want to see ds again - where did that come from - did you expect it ? its his huge loss.

I have sent off for tax credits but waiting for a decision back, Ive updated the thread I started with the bloody twists and turns in my situation but I have to pick my self and as flying on hols with kids tommorrow

take good care of your self and read Dr fay and saffys threads to keep going - they really help me xxxx I prob wont get on here for 2 weeks but I will be thinking of you xxx x

Thank you so much.
I really feel as if i've turned a corner, still a little nervous of what the future holds but it is mine and mine alone and Im actually starting to look forward to it.
I had my hut reroofed yesterday and me and ds painted it today, next week its my bedroom thats getting revamped!!
Enjoy your holiday, you will be absolutely fine.
Im off to peek at your thread now x