I don't really know where to start but I know that I need some advice from somewhere.
I feel like the crux of the problem is that my DH takes me for granted. We have a 2.5th old dd and another dc on the way.
DH works away a lot. His boss said he has the choice to refuse sometimes if it clashes with family life. I don't know how realistic this is but I know he has never refused. In the last two weeks he'd been home for 2 days.
When he is home he lays around the house doing nothing. He comes back to a clean and tidy house and within half a day it's destroyed. He makes a coffee, spills milk or sugar on the counter top but doesn't clean it up. He leaves dirty dishes on the dining table or living room floor. Presumably for me to pick up. One day I removed 5 teaspoons from near the kettle where he'd made tea all day and couldn't be bothered to put the spoons in the dishwasher or reuse.
He gets short tempered with DD because she changes so much while he's away that he doesn't know how to be with her.
I know that if he has to work he has to work and he will be tired when he comes home. I'm not asking him to do much. It feels like he's just sticking two fingers up at me by not giving a shot about the effort I've put in at home or the fact that it will be me tidying up after him. Like my spare time is less valuable than his.
I also work full time with 2-4 hours of commuting a day but I work compressed hours so that I have one day off a week with DD so I am tired too.
He likes the status of my job, I earn more than twice as much as him but he decided there were some things he wanted/needed and spent all of his spare money for the last 3 months which meant not paying his share of the mortgage, utilities etc.
He has a job interview this Friday and has done nothing so far to prepare for it. If it goes like the last one he won't get it and then will be miserable and I'll spend days trying to cheer him up.
I suppose I am just sick of giving. I give my time, I give my consideration (I've bought him a book on interview technique which he hasn't picked up) and I give my money and I get no thanks. If DD is ill I take the day off work never him.
We go for ages being fine and then it all comes to a head again and we row over the same things. Except now, like today, he won't even talk about it. He just walks away. I'm working from home, he's supposed to be watching DD but instead has lay on the sofa all day, watched tv etc. I have used my lunch break to make lunch for the 3 of us, stack the dishwasher and put washing on and then get DD to sleep for her nap.
He's sat with an angry face on like I'm vein unreasonable to be pissed off with him.
I am just so fed up of nothing changing. What can I do?