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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What is with this girl

84 replies

thesunshinesbrightly · 17/07/2011 18:32

When Me and my oh go out she works in the place where we go... she constantly stares,he goes to get a drink she stares at me,we walk back in she stares at me...it's not a dirty look just stares its starting to make me question is she worried i'm going too see her look at my oh? but when i look shes only staring at me and looks straight past him...are they having a affair do you think?? wasnt sure where to post this.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 17/07/2011 20:43

He has dumped you because of what?

HerHissyness · 17/07/2011 20:58

Oh thank GOD!

best news ever OP..... if this mini-series is indeed true of course....

I reckon he either cheated with that girl or she is an Ex of his. You said she doesn't know your DX (how good it is to say that!) I bet she does, I bet you got that info from HIM didn't you.

Now you are free, go in to the pub and ask her, nicely, calmly if she knows you from somewhere.

AnyFucker · 17/07/2011 21:12

better still, take up that post behind the bar

you will then be able to see life as it really is

not his version of it

zippy539 · 17/07/2011 21:25

I reckon she thinks you're staring at her. For you to see her staring at you - you have to be staring at her - right? She's probably posting the same thing on another forum right now...

AnyFucker · 17/07/2011 21:29

< whispers >

sunshine, we are here for you, whether you want to hear it or not

BertieBotts · 18/07/2011 04:44

Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that sunshines. He has shown his true colours now :(

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 08:56

I would appreciate if you all could let the thread disapear now as i'm still reading here but not posting. Thank you.

OP posts:
ShoutyHamster · 18/07/2011 09:12

Oh brilliant news. Perhaps now you're out of this horrid relationship the warped reactions you're clearly beginning to develop ('defend yourself? WTF?) will disappear. Good luck for the future OP.

pokeydot · 18/07/2011 10:45

i think its great news you are no longer together! please please please dont take him back.....yes i know its easy to say as i know you are in love with him but he is no good...not for you and not for anyone....

plus how do you know she doesnt know your oh? you dont live together how do you know hes not a regular at the place you go just without you?

kickingking · 18/07/2011 10:51

I am guilty of staring at other women sometimes and it's usually because I am admiring their hair colour or their shoes or something. Maybe it's that?

Maybe she thinks she knows you from somewhere? I would just say something like "Do we know each other from somewhere? It's just it seems like you're always looking over at me?"

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 10:54

I know he does not...he does not know her and nor do i.

Kickingking - yeah probably, i won't be going there now anyway but thank you for replying.

OP posts:
kickingking · 18/07/2011 11:02

Sorry, I didn't read the whole thread before replying

garlicbutter · 18/07/2011 12:30

I can't help wondering if your ex has tried to come on to her before. He seemed to think that working behind a bar brings all sorts of problematic attention from men, yes? Well, maybe he was basing that on his own behaviours ...

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 12:35

Garlicbutter - It's all over and done with now, he can do what he likes.
I know he hasnt.

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 18/07/2011 12:38

sunshine, you are on her radar for a reason... go and ask her, it'd eat me up if it were me.

I'm willing to bet she's heard him bad mouthing you, or he's been seen leering at women, it'd really explain why he was so anti-you working in a bar... we all told you it was down to his comment of not trusting men, and we told you yeah. men LIKE HIM!

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 12:49
Grin

Honestly there is no need for me too worry he wouldn't of bad mouthed me(to who?he has no friends and he didnt go anywhere without me) and he does not leer, any spare time he had i was with him, if he wasn't with me he was in contact with me constantly so he knew where i was... so no worries about him going there on his own.

She was probably attonished at my beauty,the poor luv Wink

OP posts:
yoshilunk · 18/07/2011 12:51

sunshine you keep saying "I know he doesn't know her" , "I know he hasn't "

but I must have crossed your mind to have posted your OP, so you can truly know if you are honest with yourself.

What happened yesterday evening OP? He so abruptly dumped you, had you confronted him about this/anything?

Some might not agree with me on this but I would still like to very casually ask the bar girl "have we met before, I feel like you think you know me from somewhere?"

It might just make you feel better about your instincts.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 12:54

No i'm not interested anymore and he is very free to have her if he wants.

I spoke to a old friend(male)and he didn't like it, thats why we have split.

OP posts:
buzzsore · 18/07/2011 12:55

What you're saying makes no sense, sunshine - your first thought was that he was having an affair with this woman, yet now you're saying he'd have had no opportunity to even leer at her Confused? It seems your head's all over the place, perhaps not surprisingly. You're best off out of it if he has ended it.

garlicbutter · 18/07/2011 12:57

Glad you stood up for your right to speak to your friends :)
You probably need those friends right now - go HAVE FUN! x

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 12:58

I know like i said that is the only thing i could come up with and thinking about it he wouldn't be able to so on my part it was a stupid thing to come up with.

OP posts:
Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 12:59

GarlicButter - It's so stupid i can't speak to anyone, the bloke needs help.

Thanks i will Wink.

OP posts:
RabbitPie · 18/07/2011 13:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
thesunshinesbrightly · 18/07/2011 13:05

RabbitPie - Yes! can you believe it?! just made me see exactly how stupid the relationship was.

Thank you.

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 18/07/2011 13:29

So are you going to take that job? :)