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Original poster

Would it be weird to bake for my married, male friend's birthday?

38 replies

create · 15/07/2011 15:23

On the day, we're going to an event with both our DCs. It's something we often do as our OH aren't interested and glad that they don't have to go. His day will consist of leaving home at 7am for work, rushing home to collect Dc and straight out to meet me and my DC.

I always take snacks for the DC, usually something I've baked. This time I was thinking of making something birthday themed. Basically, I suppose my question is would his wife think that was weird? I'm really thinking of it for the benefit of the DC and maybe they will sing Happy Birthday, but is that my place/would it upset his wife?

IMO opinion he should be spending his birthday with his DW anyway, but she's apparently fine with it and he wants to go to the event.

OP posts:

jenrendo · 15/07/2011 15:25

Bake him a wee cake. I would! It will be nice for the children to have a mini celebration. If the wife's not bothered you two are going out then bake bake bake!

CHOOGIRL · 15/07/2011 15:27

I think it is a lovely thoughtful thing to do. Not weird at all YANBU

CHOOGIRL · 15/07/2011 15:27

oops thought this was AIBU!!

Original poster

create · 15/07/2011 16:40

OK, thank you. Now what to make......

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 15/07/2011 16:45

sounds ok to me

it's my birthday soon < hopeful >

cat64 · 15/07/2011 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

create · 15/07/2011 17:45

Must be me who's wierd then cat64 - I just wondered if it was a bit "wifey"

OP posts:

Aislingorla · 15/07/2011 18:05

Well...why do you need to ask? Not being against the cake making, think it's a lovely gesture, just wondering why you are unsure?
Do you know his wife?

kaluki · 15/07/2011 19:23

I think its wierd that his wife doesn't want to spend the day with him on his birthday.
Baking him a birthday cake is a lovely idea though - especially for the dc.

MooncupGoddess · 15/07/2011 22:05

Sounds absolutely fine and a lovely gesture which I'm sure he'll appreciate.

Unless you were planning to ice 'Shag me now, gorgeous' on the top, in which case it might be a little inappropriate.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/07/2011 22:20

Is it the case that you are good at baking and well-known in your social circle for being good at baking? (I say this as someone who is not and would no more bake a cake than perform an appendectomy on a rottweiler). If baking a cake would be an unusual and special effort for you, it might seem a bit and buying a small cheap cake to shove a candle in might be a better alternative. It's just that home baking is seen by some people as special, loving, indication of really close affection, etc.

Jux · 15/07/2011 22:27

I used to make male friends cakes and stuff for their birthdays when I knew they weren't getting a cake from anyone else. Usually the partner had far too much else to do what with kids etc, to make a cake, and after all, we're grown ups and cakes are for kids blah blah blah. I firmly believe that a birthday cake is a very wonderful thing, and everyone should have one.

Can't imagine what his wife would object to, unless she's spending the afternoon when you're all out making him one herself.

cat64 · 15/07/2011 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheRealMBJ · 15/07/2011 23:07

I think it is a lovely gesture.

However, I'm with SGB here regarding the fact that it can be seen as a special, unusual effort to go to, particularly if you are not the baking type. If you are always baking something (as you mention in your OP) and it is no real 'extra' effort then not weird at all.

Just wondering why you are wondering? IYKWIM?

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 16/07/2011 01:29

It's a little like (or indeed quite alot like) a handmade birthday card - if you are someone who is into making greetings cards either as a hobby or for profit, giving a friend or acquaintance a handmade card for a birthday is just a nice thing to do. If you go out specially to buy all the bits and create a card, sort of out of the blue, it would be a bit wierd to do this for someone who isn't a really close friend or family member.

Lizzabadger · 16/07/2011 06:19

If there's any doubt whether it's weird then I think it's safer not to do it.

I also wonder why you are questioning this so much...

Aislingorla · 16/07/2011 09:55

I suspect you may have feelings ,stronger than friendship, for this man?
Tell me I am wrong!
It's because you need to question the 'cake' gesture!

TheSecondComing · 16/07/2011 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsareevil · 16/07/2011 10:19

I think that if you usually bake something for everyone then doing something birthday themed isnt much of a stretch at all, as its not really any extra effort.

grumpypants · 16/07/2011 10:23

I was mightily when a friend baked a cake for dh's birthday - felt a bit like there was no need for me to? But, she was single, it wasn't a day out together - depends on the motive luv!

SandStorm · 16/07/2011 10:27

Surely it's just part of the picnic though? Can't see a problem with it at all.

PonceyMcPonce · 16/07/2011 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealMBJ · 16/07/2011 10:39

I'm still interested into why the OP is questioning the gesture.

Aislingorla · 16/07/2011 10:47

hmmm.....and not answering.
Perhaps I should not be suspicious, dunno, curious....

Original poster

create · 16/07/2011 13:11

LOL Aislingoria, I thought this thread had died with an unanimous "don't worry it's fine" when I logged off yesterday afternoon.

I've no plans to make a "cake" as such. I usually take something like flap jack or gingerbread men, so the most "extra" effort I was going to make was to make birthday cake shaped gingerbread biscuits. I won't say I'm great at baking, but it is normal for me, I rarely buy any sort of cake/dessert . I'm not artistic at all, so it won't be lovingly iced cupcakes!

I think I'm concerned because I would be put out if someone did it for my DH, but then I would have made a cake myself and and would be spending the day with him on his birthday. I do find it odd that he won't see his wife on the day, as I said in my OP, he will leave the house at 7am for work and be going straight out after work, not arriving home until about 10:30pm.

I also know that one of his gripes about his wife (said jokingly) is that she can't/doesn't cook and everything in their house comes out of a packet, which is completely alien to me and none of my business, but I wonder if that makes it look odd to her, although it's normal for me iyswim.

OP posts:

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