Can't take much more

[icecreaminmyhair]

I think my husband is having some sort of mid life crisis or something.

I have two dcs. ds1 who is my son and ds2 who belongs to me and husband.

Husband is 50 and he's so moody. ds1 can't do right for doing wrong and it's like walking on eggshells around the house. He says the house isn't big enough and he needs somewhere to escape to when it all gets too much for him. He's so pathetic and feeble.

We can't go into the lounge after about 9pm because husband wants it all to himself. Starts to act stressed and like a martyr if he doesn't get his "me time".

He's taken early retirement and doesn't need to work. Has no money worries or debt although he's not well off. I work part time and also have another income and I pay half the bills, buy all the food and also clothing for the dcs. I recieve no child support from my ex. The dcs are well behaved and don't cause trouble around the place.

I really do my best and keep the house clean and everything but I just can't stand these moods

I honestly can't stand him sometimes. We have no sex life as I can't bear him near me. He's like a teenager. I feel like such a fool. How the hell have I got into this position?

I know people will tell me to leave or tell him to leave but I don't know how. I don't know how I'd cope financially as I have enough to not need benefits but not enough to live properly ifyswim. I wouldn't be able to pay rent and buy food etc.

He's gone upstairs and is having a bath with candles round him now He bloody looks after himself and the rest of us just struggle.

Is he taking the piss? How do I get through to him?

Well said, clam

Ok... I'm going to recommend something quite arbitrary but it is my view you need to get off Mumsnet and go and find a solicitor and a good friend in real life who knows the ins and outs of your relationship and who can put the alternatives (and consequences) to your decisions to you in away that you could understand and take a decision from.

We don't know what;'s going on in your life apart of what you have told us, but the fact that you are willing to dump your younger child, ask your soon to be ex to organise your divorce for you and be thinking he can get you a house where you can pay rent makes me think you are incredibly naive or you don't care enough for your own children.

Sorry. Can't get it. you are getting out of there to protect your older child at the cost of sacrificing the younger. Nice

and mental

For the love of GOD, don't you dare leave a boy behind!

For one he'll grow up just like his dad, and that is a very poor show indeed.

BAN HIM from the HOUSE. Take back your control, tell him that for too long you have say by and today it ends. Tell him you no longer want him in your home and that he needs to leave. How dare he dictate the terms of your life, treat one boy like dirt, and say you'd not take the other, who the hell does he think he is treating you all like shit and then laying down the law.

The solution you are suggesting is insane, it will ruin your life forever and damage your children, and for what, for some selfish tosser who abuses one child and declares parts of the family home out of bounds? SICK!

Get ANGRY OP, make it your mission to get him OUT, he deserves it, he needs to go live in a rented hovel and see what he's done.

Everyone has said it before me, but you are not thinking straight it you plan to abandon one son and take the other with you. The repercussions of this will affect your sons irretrievably for the rest of their lives.

You must keep your boys together. Furthermore, when a marriage breaks down the support siblings can be to each other is invaluable.

You must set an example to your sons now: how you deal with the end of your marriage will affect how they deal with every relationship they have in the future.

Good luck, be strong.

How can you leave your child to live with someone you know is abusive, spiteful, nasty and a bully?

How can you vow to remain married to someone who has bullied and bullied your child?

See a solicitor, your children need out of this situation, and they are being kept right in it