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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am too old for sex and games like this ...

55 replies

EveHarrington · 25/06/2011 01:59

Leaving one relationship and tentatively stepping into the world of dating, I have come to the conclusion that I am too old for sex where I do all the giving and get little in return.

My first "date" post-split. Ok, it didn't start off as a "date" as such - I doubt he initially knew what my intentions were. It was just meant to be an innocent lunch. It ended up with me back at his. Having done pretty much everything other than actual sex, he stops and says, "No, I don't want to do that yet." I tried to find out why, but he just said he wanted to "take things one step at a time." Fair enough, I am old enough to understand when no means no, and that applies to men as well as women, so didn't push any further - I would never want to rush someone into something if they aren't ready.

What pissed me off mightily was that this followed me going down on him, etc etc, whilst I got the benefit of a few hard kisses and fingers (yup, he didn't even return the favour! Grrr!). Yes, TMI, but a lot of WineWineWineWine has been consumed. It wasn't a bad experience - dare I say, it was even extremely pleasurable, but I was not out for a heavy makeout session, and the whole thing has left me feeling somewhat dissatisfied (for want of a better word).

Off to bed to try and erase the utter frustration out of my mind ... God, that was his plan all along, wasn't it?! Hold out and she'll come running for more Angry I so don't want to fall into that trap, so women of MNet, give me the strength and wisdom to proclaim loudly that I am too old for sex and games like this!

Or tell me that I am being highly immature and really should appreciate someone wanting to take things slowly. The only thing is I am definitely not out for a meaningful relationship - I simply have an annoying six month old itch that needs to be scratched with nothing less than diamond-strength vigour!

OP posts:
TDada · 26/06/2011 23:25

fizz - I am still learning :-)

fizzfiend · 26/06/2011 23:35

lol TDada...guess either way you say it, it's never a bad thing!

TDada · 26/06/2011 23:50

my thoughts exactly.....I can't think of a less offensive euphemism

Eurostar · 27/06/2011 00:10

not unusual for a man to be put off by a woman who is carrying condoms/has a stash at home in my experience. There's men out there who like to be a bit romantic and think it's a bit special, there's others that need to be the decision maker, there's other with performance anxiety who once they see your ready packet of condoms start thinking about the others you've had and will he match up to them? I'm surprised you haven't encountered reluctance before to be honest, I know I did in the past.

TDada · 27/06/2011 07:37

Eurostar sums up what I thought ......i thought that it would come across the wrong way if I said this as a man myself but unfortunately some men think this way...they want to be the one coming forward

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